Storage 24

Storage 24 (2012)

** (out of 4)

A plane crashes in downtown London, which causes a mandatory lock-down. A group of people are trapped inside a storage building and soon enough a killer alien is in there with them. STORAGE 24 borrows from countless science-fiction movies and it's basically just ALIEN inside a storage unit. There are a couple good things along the way including an interesting looking monster but sadly the film is just way too boring to make it worth sitting through. It's far from a bad movie but it's just too bland for its own good. A lot of the blame can be pointed at the screenplay, which has one cliché too many. Even worse is that the characters are so simple and boring. We get this really bad and embarrassing "love story" dealing with Charlie (Noel Clarke) trying to get his girlfriend back but while inside he finally learns that she left him for his best friend. This subplot goes on forever and it's just downright boring and doesn't add anything to the film. People are coming to see a monster movie so I'm really not sure why they spent so much time on a boring subplot and especially since you have a great looking monster. The monster itself has a few bits appeared to be inspired by PREDATOR but it's still fun to look at and leads to some pretty violent kills. I really wish the monster had been featured more as it could have made up for the bland characters. Another weak spot is the very poor CGI but we do get a couple good performances including Clarke. STORAGE 24 is mainly going to appeal to die-hard science-fiction fans who want to see everything. Others should stay clear.

It should be no surprise that a former (and still working SFX man) was at the helm of this movie. You can clearly see his handwriting or rather effects writing or whatever you want to call it. Unfortunately the script and the characters do not hold up to his effects standard. And while the movie is not bad, it's not really good either.

You get cardboard characters and story developments that are easily guessed by anyone watching the movie. It's still a neat ride overall, but never a really completely satisfying one. I don't really blame the actors too much on this, because I've seen some of them in better movies and with better performances. If the focus could have been on other things than the effects and the set pieces, there might have been a chance this movie would have gathered a larger following.

Lots of people get trapped in a building, with an alien beast on the loose. One of them has just broken up with his girlfriend. She's also stuck in there, along with the guy's best friend, who she was having an affair with. TENSION!! There's also an eccentric gentleman in an ugly dressing gown who might as well be followed by a huge neon sign which says COMEDY RELIEF, A gruff engineer trying to fix the strange power cuts which have been going on and off all day (guess what happens to him) and some others who can charitably be described as 'cannon fodder'.

Basically, this is a creature feature, the sort they've made for donkeys years... albeit a British one. The chases down narrow tunnels, the sight of disembodied limbs and torsos scattered about, even the fiend itself... are 'borrowed' from a million other movies... most specifically, a certain series starring Sigourney Weaver. This doesn't make it a bad film per se, but it's not one to fire up the imagination in any way (HEY THAT RHYMES!!). It provides a few cheap thrills, but you probably won't recall it a week from now. Or indeed, the next time you go to the bathroom. 5/10

The DVD case that is.

OK, expecting a masterpiece of claustrophobic stalk and slash horror with this one is as daft as some of the dialogue is in the actual film. It is after all a low budget, low grade British clone of many many other films of similar formulaic ilk. But that said, you have to have some standards and a point when you stand up and say it's just not good enough to blame costs and accept poorness because of a willingness to be indie cool.

Storage 24 is a bad film, yes there is a good portion of gore for those inclined, the creature design is decent and the inner conflict in the group (boy/girl romantic triangle trouble wouldn't you know) at least keeps character interest from sinking to the depths of us not caring right away. But the screenplay meanders all too often, boorish chatter and emoting only serving to make you prey the creature turns up post haste. Jolts are telegraphed, as are the switching sympathies with the lead protagonists. Acting is poor, except maybe Ned Dennehy, who is playing a bonkers hermit smelly bloke and enjoys himself, and Noel Clarke as the hero in waiting dude scurrying around trying to save the day.

Clarke also produces, while Johannes Roberts directs, Clarke (Adulthood/Kidulthood) is much better than this, as is Roberts (F), but the pair are just saying we have watched Super 8 and Alien and feel like turning one out ourselves. That says there is no pretensions here, but it is also lazy film making. The explosive finale comes laced with tongue firmly in cheek, but nothing previously warrants this being tagged as a hip and funny horror/comedy, tried it has, but Severance it isn't. It's the inconsistencies that coupled with the standard formula make Storage 24 a weak film that's difficult to recommend to anyone but the type of horror fan that keeps watching all those Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday 13th sequels...and loving them. 4/10

Quite well made with some nice creature effects, but I'm afraid it has little else in its favour. Yes, there are a few 'jump out of your skin' moments, but it really doesn't do anything we haven't seen before. For me, they revealed far too much of the creature far too soon; for horror to work well, it needs to be in the shadows. It's what the audience doesn't see that scares them; the imagination is a very powerful thing if manipulated correctly. The performances were all decent enough although nobody really stood out. On the plus side the running time was nice and short and the pace was kept pretty high throughout. Oh, and I have to admit, I love the ending!… Sadly not quite enough for it to get my recommendation though.

SteelMonster's verdict: NOT RECOMMENDED

My score: 5.6/10

You can find an expanded version of this review on my blog: Thoughts of a SteelMonster.