Murdercise

I thought we stopped making nonsense like this in the eighties.

Murdercise seems to have been made in backlots and unused offices by wannabe porn stars playing dress up and pretend.

Everything, and I do mean everything is awful.

The acting, awful. The direction, awful. The plot, awful. It seems very much like a film made during covid and that is not a compliment.

I usually don't like to give one star ratings to movies anymore because it takes a lot of effort to get an indie film made these days. But in this case, I will make an exception. It has a depressingly cheap and sleazy feel to the whole thing.

No date is given but the setting is obviously the wonderful 1980's. Within the first minute or so a busty babe has stripped off and is taking a shower, a few seconds later and she is murdered. The main plot has a group of attractive young women shooting a fitness video in a studio (on tape, naturally), our main girl Phoebe is all innocent but sleazy director Gino and his cameraman want more sex than exercise. "All those girls out there are strippers, perverts and communists!" exclaims Phoebe before she loses the plot and turns into a killer. But she's not alone, oh no - for good measure a pair of fake cops with a taste for sex and murder are thrown into the mix for (very) good measure. The slasher movie "Killer Workout" aka "Aerobicide" (1987) springs to mind. Murdercide, with its blue/purple lighting, mist machine, Walkman, sweatbands and VHS tapes etc is a very good homage to the 1980's. The budget was obviously low, some of the acting is "bad" but I'm sure that was intentional and some of the kills are pretty gory. The best one has a man have his head chainsawed in half. I went into this not expecting much but I'm pleased to say that I enjoyed it, pretty good fun and a movie that I'd probably want to watch again. Catchy soundtrack too.

Right, well I was lead to believe that I was in for a horror comedy, as I sat down to watch the 2023 movie "Murdercise". Sure, I had never heard about the movie prior to sitting down to watch it, so I didn't really know what I was getting into.

Turns out that writer Paul Ragsdale managed to come up with a complete dumpster fire of a movie. The storyline and script was so laughably bad that it was simply astounding. I will actually go as far as saying that the storyline in "Murdercise" is one of the dumbest I have sat through in a long, long time. It was supposed to be an homage to the campy and cheesy 1980s horror movies. But "Murdercise" never stood a chance. The narrative was rubbish and there was just nothing appealing or interesting about the ordeal.

I managed to suffer through a staggering 25 minutes of absolute rubbish and boredom in some of its purest form. Then I just couldn't take anymore of it, and turns off the movie. And trust me, this is not a movie that I will ever return to attempt finish watching. There literally was nothing worthwhile about this ordeal.

The acting performances in "Murdercise" were insanely amateurish, wooden, rigid and just awkwardly embarrassing to witness. Needless to say that there weren't anyone even remotely famous on the cast list. And with good reason, I might add. The majority of the women were cast for the movie for one reason, and it takes very little effort to figure out what that reason was.

"Murdercise" looked and felt like a homemade high school project of making a horror comedy. Well, except that the movie was lacking those two key elements; horror and comedy.

Do yourself a favor and stay well clear of directors Angelica De Alba and Paul Ragsdale's 2023 movie "Murdercise", it just simply isn't worth the time, money or effort.

My rating of "Murdercise" lands on a one out of ten stars.

Apparently this film is loosely based around and paying homage to those fitness, gym horror/slasher comedy films such as Killer Workout and Death Spa. Given the premise, the story is essentially the same but for the newer generation. Once the story begins we are introduced to the characters and as it plays along, we see how the first kill occurs (the audience knows the killer but the characters are oblivious).

Nothing quite funny in this film but it's enjoyable to a degree. It is of course predictable and does include several mandatory skin scenes. The film goes downhill once the cops arrive at the scene. Trying a little to be funny which falls flat. From there scenes just occur to pass time as the inevitable turn of a full slasher occurs.

Murdercise is the kind of movie that knows exactly what it is: a low-budget love letter to 80s slasher flicks and aerobic workout videos, wrapped in a neon-soaked package of pure, unadulterated camp. Directed by Angelica De Alba and Paul Ragsdale, this indie gem doesn't pretend to be high art-it revels in its absurdity, and that's where its charm lies. It's "so bad it's good" in the best possible way, delivering laughs, gore, and a wild ride that's hard not to enjoy if you're in on the joke.

The plot follows Phoebe (Kansas Bowling), a fitness-obsessed nerd who lands a gig in a sleazy workout video, only to snap and start murdering her way to the top with the help of a mafia princess wild child (Nina Lanee Kent). It's as ridiculous as it sounds, and the film leans into every over-the-top moment with gusto. The dialogue is hilariously clunky, the acting delightfully wooden at times, and the kills-like a standout chainsaw-to-the-head scene-are gloriously low-fi yet effective. This is B-movie territory through and through, and it's all the better for it.

What's truly impressive is how much the production team squeezes out of what's clearly a shoestring budget. The 80s aesthetic-think sweatbands, Walkmans, and blue/purple lighting-is spot-on, capturing that retro vibe without breaking the bank. The soundtrack is catchy and fits the tone perfectly, while the practical effects, though simple, add a gritty charm that CGI could never replicate. For a crowdfunded indie flick, the lighting and sound are surprisingly solid-two areas where low-budget films often falter. De Alba and Ragsdale deserve serious props for stretching their limited resources this far and still delivering a cohesive, entertaining product.

The cast, including indie darling Kansas Bowling and the legendary Ginger Lynn, throws themselves into their roles with reckless abandon. Sure, it's not Oscar-worthy, but that's not the point-everyone's clearly having a blast, and that energy is infectious. Jessa Flux's bratty demand to have her "tits seen" and Bowling's coked-up, chainsaw-wielding finale are moments of pure, unhinged joy that stick with you.

Murdercise isn't for everyone-it's too rough around the edges and proudly silly for mainstream tastes. But for fans of 80s slashers, horror comedies, or just gloriously bad cinema, it's a treat. It's a testament to what passion and creativity can achieve, even with next to no money. A&P Productions have crafted a scrappy little film that's rough, raw, and ridiculously fun. I'd watch it again in a heartbeat.

This review highlights the film's low-budget appeal, praises the production's effort, and embraces its "so bad it's good" vibe while keeping it concise and engaging, perfect for an IMDb user review.