Mega Python vs. Gatoroid

Don't you just love when the infamous Asylum production discriminates your brain? It's just intolerable! I know, now you're thinking "then why did you watch that film?", because I want to issue a warning to all people who loves to watch movies, to avoid this at every cost. So, this movie was directed by Mary Lambert who directed "Pet Cemetery" and it's sequel. But, Mary is definitely one of those directors whose career was washed up and so, she joined the Asylum. Now… I don't know… I bet that producers of Asylum are the fans of Debbie Gibson and Tiffany… And they took this failed director and these two failed singers… oh yes, how did they call them? The 80s pop sensations? What sensations? The two of them had only one hit song that sucked big time. And they obviously wanted to show some kind of rivalry between the two "pop sensations", and they did it with the duel on a party, which was one of the funniest things I have ever seen… especially in the film that, like… tends to be somewhat "serious"… That duel was predicted by Bill Hicks, if you ask me… Now, what to say? Directing was horrible, acting was dreadful (all actors in this film… wow… they never ever heard about acting. Tiffany and Debbie were characters that presented a last straw in this crap, two failed "pop sensations" in failed movie career. Are they that dumb, not to notice that the joke was on their expense?), editing, music score, camera work, well… that's asylum… and CGI which is the highlight of badness… no need to talk about this… in this moment, my fingers are shivering and my brain hurts! Avoid this and do something better with your life, fill your bathtub and practice holding your breath for a… two hours. It's far more exciting than watching this turd.

As I have said many times, I have made no secret of disliking most of SyFy's output. I kind of knew that Mega Python vs. Gataroid was going to be bad, and it was. However, because the concept was intriguing, it started off alright and because Deborah Gibson and Tiffany were decent, it is not as unwatchable as something like Quantum Apocalypse, Alien vs vs. Hunter or Titanic II.

The special effects are crude-looking and in my opinion not used very well, as the film is often very silly and lacking in tension and atmosphere, while the camera work and editing are slapdash. As I said, Mega Python vs Gataroid has a good concept, it starts off well and has a quite enjoyable scene involving a meeting to save the everglades, but the sillier it gets the more meandering the storytelling becomes. The film is rushed, too short, has some really absurd dialogue and the acting excepting the two leads is painful especially from Micky Dolenz.

Overall, although it is a bad movie, I can't bring myself to entirely hate it. 3/10 Bethany Cox

Mega Python vs. Gatoroid (2011)

** (out of 4)

Another SyFy cheapie has Terry (Deborah Gibson), a snake lover, breaking into a lab and releasing several pythons so that they can find their freedom. Later on down the road the Florida Everglades are in trouble because the alligator population is dying and it appears they're being killed by large pythons. To return nature to its original course, the sheriff (Tiffany) gives the gators some steroids so that they'll grow and kill the pythons. The latest in the MEGA and VS. titles that SyFy seem to loved, this one here fits the bill for what one would want in a "B" movie. Those in the 50s had I WAS A TEENAGE FRANKENSTEIN and today's generation is greeted with stuff like MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID. It's sad but I guess it needs to be said but if you're expecting or wanting some sort of high art film then I'd recommend you go watch something by Kurosawa. You're certainly not going to witness anything ground breaking or Oscar-worthy but that's okay. If you're wanting a campy film full of silly moments then this will be just for you. Overall I had a decent time with the film and I can't help but give a lot of the credit to Tiffany and Gibson. Neither one will be picking up an Oscar anytime soon but I must admit that I enjoyed seeing them together even when their earlier SyFy films really didn't work. The two are obviously having fun together and the big cat fight between the two was actually quite funny. Not only to they break things, throw punches and roll around but they also get to rub cake on each others breasts, which I'm sure will have fans eating up. The two fit their roles good enough and neither give a "good" performance so we get some rather funny moments including the scene where Gibson is crying over her dead boyfriend yet I never once spotted a tear. I'm glad neither actress tried to pretend they were in some "A" production as it's clear both of them know they're doing something campy and they deliver the goods for this type of film. We even get a pretty funny bit where the dialogue between the two is actually from Tiffany's hit single back in the day. Director Lambert actually does a decent job with the material as she never lets things get too slow or boring, which is pretty much all you can ask for in a film like this. The one thing that I would say is that the CGI effects appear to be getting worse with each passing film and I'm starting to wonder if they're doing it on purpose or not. I really wish they'd try to have a bit more imagination so that these horrid effects wouldn't have to be used as much.

Now, somewhere between the non serious title and the fact that this movie went straight to cable on the SyFy Channel, one certainly should get the idea that we are not dealing with "Gone with the Wind" here, but with a silly monster movie. But there is still a place for that. Sometimes some of us have had it with too many serious things in life and we just want to watch something light and silly, and movies like these fill that urge. The fact that several of us voted to watch it proves the point.

The good points? The rivalry between the two main actresses at times was interesting. The rest of the movie sort of went along with expectations. And by that I mean, the acting and drama did not even get to good, the special effects did not rival Jurassic Park, and no university professor (who is not high) is going to buy the explanation for the larger monsters and how they got that way. The bottom line is, if you are in the mood for something that you know is not serious nor pretends to be serious, this might fill some time for you.

Regrets from me after watching it? Some movies that know they are not the big time sometimes reach cult classic fame with the right amount of silliness and interest such as "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes". I think this movie tried for that category also, but I do not feel it achieved that either. But I give it credit for being honest as to what it really was - a non serious monster movie.

First off, i have got to admit that i have a slight obsession with these type of SyFy movies, there's just something about the outrageous plots, low profile actors and shoddy CGI that gets me every time.

The Plot: Trouble in the everglades becomes apparent after Dr. Nikki Riley releases pythons into the area which result in the dwindling number of alligators, and rising numbers in animal corpses. Tiffany who plays park ranger Terry swiftly takes it into her own hands to resolve the problem armed with chickens and steroids; for which disastrous consequences are lurking round the swamp door.

My Thoughts If you gave it a grade purely from it's technical side, well... let's just say it wouldn't be getting on the honor's roll anytime soon! The lead actresses, Tiffany Darwisch and Deborah Gibson's acting skill set, to put it more nicely, would not benefit any other channel but SyFy. If they were to leave the safety net of the souped up minds of the SyFy team, they just wouldn't be able to survive in the world of acting.

The pacing itself seems to be a bit slow in the beginning but soon grabs your attention with a vast array of humorous moments intertwined with suspense and thrill, you really are entertained from the start to the finish.. almost.

The Screen Stealers There were a minority in the film who definitely stole the show for me in regards to their acting ability in contrast to other various cast members, for instance; A Martinez did a fantastic job of playing Dr. Diego Ortiz, but unfortunately i believe he slightly let himself down in the aeroplane scene (or if you're American, airplane), his face just didn't really seem to convey as much pain as what he says he is in.. suspicious stuff.. eh?

The second of my shining stars has to be Kathryn Joosten, even though she doesn't have as much screen time as the majority, she is still absolutely brilliant at what she does, and what she does is she makes us laugh. It is entirely apparent why she has won two primetime Emmy awards. Bravo Kathryn.. bravo.

And the Conclusion is.. (Drum Rolls Please) Overall it's a bad film, yet still my heart tells me that it's completely amazing, in it's own special way. Even though it is quite terrible, you cannot disregard the pure entertainment value of this cracking movie and I would completely recommend watching this to any of my many friends cats.

What a "normal" person would think: 3/10 What an epic person with the whole SHABANG just like me would think: 7/10