The Flood

Stumbling upon this 2023 thriller titled "The Flood" by random chance here in 2023, and seeing that it was an aligator-based movie with Casper Van Dien, I must admit that I was somewhat intrigued. And thus, I opted to sit down and watch what writers Chad Law and Josh Ridgway had to offer.

Not a whole lot, as it turned out. Nay, "The Flood" turned out to be very bland and run-of-the-mill type of movie with aligators becoming a threat to people during a flood. It has all been done and seen before, so you're not in for anything grand or innovative here. And the movie just never really got up into a proper gear, making it a rather monotonous movie to sit through.

The character gallery in "The Flood" was pretty generic, and you could essentially pluck the characters out of those movie and replace them into any other movie of this type and still end up with the same result. Yeah, the writing for this movie was pretty lazy.

The cast ensemble in "The Flood" was actually fairly okay, with the likes of Casper Van Dien, Louis Mandylor, Nicky Whelan and Kim DeLonghi on the cast list, among others. The acting performances in the movie were as you would expect for a movie such as this, and the actors and actresses weren't really given much contents to work with from the script.

Visually, then I have to admit that I am a bit surprised that movies with this type of fake-looking CGI rendered and animated aligators still see the light of day in 2023. Sure, it wasn't the worst of CGI I have seen, but it was fairly amateurish. And truth be told, a movie such as this can't afford to have questionable CGI, because it just takes away so muchly needed focus from the movie.

Watchable for what it was, "The Flood" is not a movie that is going to wash you away by any means. In fact, the movie came and went without leaving any lasting impression, and the aligators packed almost no bite. If you manage to sit through the 93 minutes one time, chances are high that you will never do so again. I know that I am not returning to watch director Brandon Slagle's 2023 movie "The Flood" a second time.

My rating of "The Flood" lands on a four out of ten stars.

This has got to be the worst alligator based horror film ever made.

You can tell it was one of those one-line high concept pitches that Netflix is infamous for.

With the concept being something along the lines of Con Air meets Lake Placid, only, in a prison, instead of an airplane (or, alternatively...like Snakes On A Plane...only with alligators in a jail).

Because an airplane was clearly not in the budget.

The entire concept is idiotic.

A group of prisoners are being transported during a hurricane, near New Orleans, where they get re-routed to a local jail. There, a plan is hatched to break out one of the inmates...however, both operations get interrupted by an infestation of insatiably murderous alligators, who have been washed into the prison as a result of flooding from the hurricane.

But how exactly they have managed to infiltrate the jail, never really makes sense.

So, the fact that the gators are rendered with some of the worst CGI since Birdemic...alongside the awful acting...moronic script...and idiotic plot.

Give this film the three strikes it needs to be relegated to the dustbin of internet streaming service history.

Because it is absolute trash.

It's only redeeming quality is that the white trash Nazi character gets his comeuppance.

But that sure isn't enough to save it.

Steer well clear of this one...because it's not the backed up sewage that is stinking up the room here.

1.5 out of 10.

Twenty-six years after Casper Van Dien fought alien bugs in Starship Troopers, he's back battling massive CGI critters in The Flood, only the special effects are a lot worse and, quite possibly, so is Van Dien's acting.

Van Dien plays convict Russell Cody, who, along with several other criminals, is being transported to a new prison during a hurricane; due to the weather, the prison bus is forced to take a detour to a nearby police station, where the cons are to spend the night. Meanwhile, a group of heavily armed baddies break into the station to try and free Cody unaware that some huge bulletproof alligators, displaced by the rising waters, have found a new home in the building...

The Flood has clearly been inspired by Alexandre Aja's Crawl, but director Brandon Slagle has neither the budget nor the talent to do the premise justice. His film features terrible writing and abysmal acting, and boasts digital effects that would shame a Playstation (even the rain is digital), but even more distracting than the bad CGI is the botox pout of female sheriff Jo Newman; I can't take her seriously as a tough cop when she looks like a duck.

2.5/10, rounded down to 2 for expecting the viewer to believe that a botoxed blonde could beat up muscle-bound convicts twice her size.

With the release of 'Bait' in 2012 and 'Crawl' in 2019, and now 'The Flood' in 2023 it looks as if the industry is heading towards a new genre: flood/creature feature. 'The Flood' sees a very similar premise to the aforementioned films, only it wasn't nearly as effective or well made.

When weather conditions during a hurricane become too dangerous to drive, a bus escorting five dangerous criminals has to take a detour to the closest prison. The prison is run by feisty Sheriff Newman (Nicky Whelan). I couldn't help but think they wanted to make a heroin out of Newman in the vein of Nancy (Blake Lively) from 'The Shallows' or Sheriff Julie Forester (Elizabeth Shue) from 'Piranha 3D' - only Nicky Whelan doesn't have what it takes to pull it off. I found her much too weak to portray the heroin.

Another four unsavory criminals raid the prison in order to free one of their own, and a shootout ensues with the gang taking over the prison. However, the police station is flooded and soon the alligators find a way in - and they're hungry! And so begins their ordeal - trying to survive. We have a lot of characters for such a short movie, and set mostly in the police station, it did feel a bit cluttered. Sure, the alligators soon start eliminating some of the characters, but even so there simply were too many characters.

The film also suffers from poor acting, poor dialogue, poor visuals, a poor script, and just generally not that great on any level. There's hardly any suspense at all and I blame lack of enthusiasm from the cast and the director. This could have been so much better! Oh, and another thing; one of the characters suddenly returns during the final act after being viciously attacked by an alligator earlier on (presumed to be dead). And guess what, he's not even limping! In fact, he has no blood on him - not even a scratch!!! That's when it hit me again I was watching a B-movie...

Unfortunately, 'The Flood' got much worse towards the end. Rather give this one a skip. Watch 'Crawl' instead.

The only thing missing in this movie is Steven Seagal. You have been warned.

Long version: Stereotype bonanza.

Very, very bad CGI.

Abysmally bad acting.

Botoxed sheriff.

Dialog written and reviewed by simians.

Nonsensical animal (and human) behavior.

Cheapest location possible.

Made for the Great! Action Movies channel.

All the ingredients are present to make a timeless classic out of this "movie". All but one, Steven Seagal.

Hopefully The Flood 2 will include Steven in its stellar cast.

P. S.

Any reference or similarities to Crawl are there only to make potential viewers think it could be comparable or similar. It is not.