Space Soldiers

So the movie is called "Space Soldiers", so you know what you can expect from the movie. Some sort of Space Battle with the focus on special effects. While watching the moving you will notice the movie is more based on dialogs and let me tell you those are BAD.

First thing to notice are the names. A weapon expert "Overkill", a good looking mercenary "Breathtaker", another "Mercenary girl" and they are fighting over a "Chaos Generator". My first impression was "awful", but then i notice its way easier to keep track of the names during the dialogs, if someone talks about someone called "Data Ocean" you know exactly who is meant. A nice trick but it doesn't make the movie any better. Too many clichés and flat dialogs which are not very well thought.

I can not recommend the movie, even with low expectations the movie is disappointing.

Possibly one of the worst movies ever made, seriously, acting is ridiculously bad, manuscript feels like it being made up while filming, Sean Patrick Flanery has an extreeeeeemly annoying way of wrinkle his nose (like a rabbit) throughout the whole movie, possibly trying to look angry, but more looks, yeah like a rabbit. The CGI is made on somebody's iPad I think. Films like this should not be made. I rather watch Dinoshark... Don't waste your time here guys, I actually created an account here on IMDb just to tell you this. It is a waste of time. A whole heap of funding that could have gone for something good. Nothing else....

Still not exactly a soap. Not much better than one though. The German title "Space Soldiers" also promises something that sound more like an action movie than it is. But that is not the problem with Scavengers at hand here. The problem is, that while it's cute (and "dark"), it fails to impress on the jokes side. It tries hard to be funny and the actors are probably not as bad as they seem in this movie.

Unfortunately the timing is off and S.P. Flanery might try to outdo Steven Seagal with his performance here (alright it's not that bad. But still worse than anything else I've seen him do and I know he can act). Other than that you shouldn't be too fixed on the production values (because there are none), especially the cheap looking ... everything in it. Still they try their best to hide those things with fog/smoke inside a space ship(?). Yep it's that bad. If you still have a heart of Gold and can't be mad at the somewhat likable characters and some funny ideas (Twelve/Thirteen), you might like this more than you should. Until the end after end comes along ... maybe

Where do we start...

The CGI was poor (bits looked like they were done on a ZX81), and in some sections of the movie the lighting was all wrong - highlighting the fact that the background was superimposed.

The acting was bad, really bad - no one was believable - but I guess a special mention really needs to be made regarding the "script" which was even worse (did someone get paid for this?). Some of the lines were just ridiculous and seemed at times to be trying to be funny (especially the "baddies" - Captain Jekel and sidekick BreathTaker).

The sound effects were, to say the least, interesting: I would never have thought to have machine gun noises for spacecraft fire.

All in all this is a howler and not worth the 90 minutes you will never recover.

Avoid, not even good enough for a wet Sunday afternoon. Script is clichéd as is a lot of the dialogue.

CGI is terrible with everything looking plastic. The lead bad guy says everything in this slow, low rough voice like he's trying to be Judge Dredd but just comes across as a moron. The bit part actors seem to have just been hired straight from some community acting society and are extremely wooden and monotonous.

As fox_wabvyi said in their review all the bad guys have really cheesy nicknames that exactly describe their character and skill set. At least I hope they are meant to be nicknames.