- Martin's father: Stop them tears. You're just making daddy's willy harder.
- Mrs. Lomax: [from trailer]
- [going through Martin's scrapbook of The Human Centipede]
- Mrs. Lomax: What is this? "100% medically accurate"?
- [shouts]
- Mrs. Lomax: One digestive system? Is this a perverted film you've been talking about?
- Greg - Centipede #7: You can't do this. It's a film. The Human Centipede's a fucking film! He's gonna stitch us up. He's gonna stitch us up arse-to-mouth.
- Dr. Sebring: Let's see. The centipede can be considered a phallic symbol. Centipedes are very aggressive creatures. Their bite can be very painful. Maybe he's connecting the pain that a centipede inflicts with the pain inflicted on him through use of psychological and sexual abuse by his father.
- [last lines]
- Mark: [on the phone] Hello, this is Mark from USA Actors Management again. Please disregard my earlier message. Uh, fortunately Miss Williams and Mr. Kitamura were able to reschedule and they're really, really excited to come to London for Mr. Tarantino's auditions. I hope it's still possible. I'm totally confident that they're gonna do very well on this, so please, call me back as soon as possible on this number to confirm. Thanks very, very much. Talk to you soon. Goodbye.
- Dr. Sebring: Sometimes people who are mentally challenged and have a history of sexual abuse... mutilate their own sexual organs.
- [first lines]
- Ian - Centipede #5: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck!
- Kim - Centipede #10: Ian, please! Could you just calm down?
- Ian - Centipede #5: He did not know I took the car. He'll be absolutely fucking furious!
- Kim - Centipede #10: Your dad doesn't have to find out. We can come back and get it tomorrow when we have the keys.
- Paul: How you doing, doc?
- Dr. Sebring: Oh, I'd rather fuck that retarded boy, but... this'll do.
- Paul: I know a place in Thailand where they specialize in that sort of thing.