Friedhof der Kuscheltiere: Bloodlines

This film is just bad. Pretty much in every way. They must have either ran out of budget or had to cut run time because this movie is utter nonsense. I kind of, maybe get what they were trying to do, but it's so poorly crafted and executed it's not worth watching.

Here are things that suck:

1. The plot doesn't make sense and really has nothing to do with the original Pet Sematery.

2. There's no one to root for and no one to care about. Live or die, I literally do not care what happens to any characters.

3. There's no point and the core premise is so confusing I really don't know why this was made.

4. The final act they just gave up. I don't know why characters are doing what they're doing. Nor do I care.

Bad filmmaking 101 - 2.2/10.

This is the weirdest directing I've ever seen in a movie, special mention to the editing part that made everything even more confusing and boring.

Basic TV movies are more entertaining than this and... based on Stephen King's amazing novel? How can someone ruin a beautiful horror story like this?

There were about 20 minutes left and all I could think was "what in the H am I watching?!".

This to be avoided, just know there is no "horror" in this movie and no direction whatsoever. Feels like someone had the money to play "let's direct a movie and then go eat pizza because I don't even care..."

My wife and I watched Pet Sematary: Bloodline (2023) on Paramount+ last night. The plot unfolds in Ludlow, Maine, during the 1960s, as a young man returns home from the war, triggering a series of killings. Some teenagers are eager to leave town, but their every attempt is mysteriously thwarted. Could the murders and the inability to escape be connected?

This movie is both written and directed by Lindsey Anderson Beer, marking her directorial debut, and features a cast including Henry Thomas (E. T.), David Duchovny (The X-Files), Pam Grier (Coffy), Natalie Alyn Lind (Gotham), Jackson White (Tell Me Lies) and Forrest Goodluck (The Revenant).

The promising cast and well-selected settings initially raised my expectations for this film. However, while the cinematography is impressive, it leans a bit too clean and could have been grittier and darker. The kills are the best part of the film, offering a satisfying blend of creativity and gruesome moments, with the "I think I'm too high" scene being a particular favorite. However, the acting and writing in the movie are disappointingly inconsistent. I found it challenging to connect with the main characters and felt the story might have been better told from the perspective of David Duchovny and his son. Additionally, the flashback scenes were awful.

In conclusion, Pet Sematary: Bloodline doesn't quite live up to our expectations for a revitalized Pet Sematary universe. I would give it a 4/10 and recommend skipping it.

Quick review: I had really hoped I was going to enjoy 'Pet Sematary: Bloodlines', however very early on in the film I knew I was going to struggle with it. The reason? I could not find a single character who was likeable or charismatic enough to care about. Without that being there it is so hard to stay invested and care about the outcome of the film.

There are a lot of cheap jump-scares in this film. People and trucks just appear out of nowhere and we get a loud jolt of music with them. Otherwise though, the film really doesn't have a way to scare you. I was a bit let down by this one. I didn't expect a masterpiece, but I expected more than we got. 4/10.

Plot

In 1969 a young Jud Crandall and his childhood friends band together to confront an ancient evil that has gripped their hometown of Ludlow.

Cast

Mostly mediocre, we do however get Henry "ET" Thomas, David Duchovny, Samantha Mathis (Who is used so little she may as well not be there), Pam Grier and Natalie Alyn Lind who keeps popping up in everything I watch and she's always a joy to watch.

Verdict

Bloodlines tells the story that Jud Crandall told in the original Pet Semetary, so you already know how it ends. Not sure it's a tale that needed putting to screen but they make the most of it.

Though loaded with veterans most of the younger cast are really quite poor, combine that with very bland writing and it makes for a very underwhelming watch!

Pet Semetary hasn't exactly been the best series, sure the original was amazing but with a forgettable sequel and an awful remake I wasn't exactly excited to see this pop up. However I'll give it this, it's better than the trailer makes it out to be.

It's a middle of the road movie with enough going for it to keep you drowning in its glaring flaws.

Rants

Now we've seen Jud's story sadly it makes his likelihood to show someone the semetary even less likely. Why would he do it? What motivation would he have being that he lived through these horrors and ultimately as per the original movie caused his ultimately demise.

Breakdown

Solid veteran cast Natalie Alyn Lind is great Just about enough King charm Mostly poor young cast You know what's going to happen Rather bland in places.