- [during the end credits]
- King Bong: Hey, where you going? This motherfucker ain't over yet. No, there's a whole nother story that needs to be told. What, you asking who I am? Bitch, didn't you watch the goddamn movie? I'm King Bong, baby. Aw yeah, now that you figured that shit out... sit your ass down and listen up. Cause I'm gonna tell you a little story. Oh, you thought I was destroyed? Hell motherfuckin' naw, bitch, hehe. That evil ass bitch Eebee, the evil bong... That stank bitch cunt ooze twat vagina juice having whore ain't got shit to do with me. But that's all right. Just don't tell her I said that. Oh I ain't scared of that bitch, naw. Cause I'll fuck her up. She just don't need to know. Because all I'm worried about right now is you and me. Now sit your ass down in that knockoff dress and listen up to what I gotta say.
- [inhaling sound is heard]
- King Bong: Oh, what's that sound? Oh, you like that sound don't you? That's my heart beating, my heart beats fast for you. Cause I need a lot of blood to get this big ass dick up. That's right. Listen to all that hard beating blood flushing through the veins, that's right. Oh, there it is! Well goddamn, look at the size of your mouth. You look like a goddamn toothbrush commercial ain't you, just put your head all the way goddamn back and I'll fuck the hell outta you. Oh, aha, that's right. Where you puttin' your finger? Don't put your finger there. Wait, wait, no, no, keep it right there, keep it right there, bitch, I said keep it right there. Now wiggle it, just a little bit. That's right, that's it girl, mhm. Aw... Now I know what that boy like. But just the finger, I don't want nothing else up this ass. Your finger, baby. Your cute little manicured fingernail. You know what that came in red and came out... I don't need to say. Lick it. Mhm. Taste like candy, don't it? Aw... yeah! All right now I'm through with you, move over. What's your name? Oh, I like that. Lolly. Well Lolly, I got something I need to pop bitch, come on. Wait a minute hold on, what you doing. Oh, don't go over there, don't go up there! Oh go up there, go up there, go on! Oh, put it all the way in! Bitch you got some talent, I like that. Now pull it out. Mhm! Smell like Oklahoma, don't it? You know what I'm talking about. Oh, look at you. I'm liking the way you rub it against your top lip. Yeah, that's right. Come on, rub it! Yeah! Drives you crazy, don't it? Wait, who's that over there? That's your friend? Oh, I like that. Hear that? That's my heart beating cause ain't nothing better than one and two, or three, or four. Cause when you got 12 bitch, you can take them all on. So get your goddamn friends in here and help me out, little bitch. Yeah. Aw... Tokika! Lock the goddamn door cause we about to have a motherfuckin' party up in this bitch. All right everybody, see that over there? That's Tokika. That's the tittiest swinging bitch I got. Right there. So, everybody take your tops off and swing your titties like Tokika. Oh, bounce them bitches up and down, bounce them up and down, I wanna see areolas all over the goddamn place, make them areolas twirl for a motherfucker, that's right, goddamn. There you go. Mm... What's that smell? Aw shit, that's vagina juice. That's the breakfast of god damn champions, ain't it. Let me take a couple sips of that, and i'll be able to run a marathon all the way up your ass. Ah oh, ah oh. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait, wait...
- [moaning intensifies]
- King Bong: Fooled ya, I ain't ready to cum yet bitch. What you think I'm a punk?
- Bachman: I'm stoked bro, best I've felt in a while, thank you for asking.
- [Velicity starts checking Bachman's eye]
- Bachman: Hey... what's next Doctor, turn my head and cough?
- Velicity: No, and I'm not gonna put the rubber glove on either as much as I think you might like it.
- Bachman: [Disappointed] Shit...
- Velicity: I suppose it's alright if you come in for a while, my partners out getting samples he wont be back until later.
- Luann: Dude, no, I seriously cannot be seen in public with him. Like, not when he is like that. Oh my God. I mean seriously like, what would people think of me?
- Larnell: I don't know, maybe they'd think you're his caring girlfriend who loved him no matter what he looked like.
- Luann: Dude, are you fucking kidding me? He is like a fat assed flabby whale, okay. He should have like Greenpeace boat circling around him.
- [last lines]
- Delivery Guy: I'm only delivering souls now brother, only souls.
- [Bachman offers him a joint]
- Delivery Guy: Ooh. Don't mind if I do.
- Larnell: Who sent you?
- Delivery Guy: Who didn't send me.
- Larnell: Who didn't send you? What do you mean?
- Delivery Guy: No, not What, Who.
- Larnell: That's what I'm asking.
- Delivery Guy: I know you're asking What, but you want to know if Who sent me.
- Larnell: If Who sent you? Dude, what are you talking about?
- Delivery Guy: I'm not talking about What, you're the one that keeps bringing it up.
- Larnell: When?
- Delivery Guy: Yes.
- Larnell: Yes what?
- Delivery Guy: No, yes When, that's who sent me.
- Larnell: What?
- Delivery Guy: No, When.
- Brett: Would you two cockknockers shut the fuck up? It's like a comedian routine, those old guys.
- Allistair: Yeah, Abbott and Costello.
- Larnell, Brett, Bachman: Who?