St George's Day

You probably know Frank Harper from pretty much every British gangster film (he was 'Dog' in Lock Stock). Now, he's taken to writing and directing one of his own. St George's Day tells the story of two London gangsters who lose a shipment of drugs that belong to the Russian Mafia and have to pull off a heist to get the money to pay it back.

Yes, it's hardly an inspired plot, but, when you watch it, you'll soon realise that that's the least of its problems. Frank Harper narrates pretty much the whole way through, giving his 'patriotic' thoughts and opinions on the story, plus introducing every character along the way. And there are many. Every other scene has a new gangster who gets his own intro from Frank, most of which are hardly seen again in the film.

Unfortunately, St George's Day utilises every cliché in the book. Every line sounds like someone doing a bad impression of what they think a cockney would say. After a while, you start to wonder how quite a talented bunch of actors were ever roped into this film to begin with. I say 'talented actors' as most of them are. However, this doesn't apply to former Page 3 girl turned 'actress' Keeley Hazell. She is truly wooden beyond belief.

St George's Day brings nothing new to the genre of gangster films. It's clichéd, boring, overly-long and just bad. One to avoid. Stick with Lock Stock and Snatch.

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I thought this was an all good Brit Gangster flick, Frank Harper did a great job of his first time directorial debut, and some of the camera shots were great, I also like some of the analogies used such as when Craig Fairbrass says "I got 25 good summers left" I like things like that, and thought there were a few thought out well. Craig Fairbrass shinned in this, this was one of his better roles that fitted him. All in all, I would give it a 7/10, only miscast I thought was Jamie Foreman just due to him being in Eastenders and nothing personal.

I think Frank Harper could defo direct some more good things, and look forward to them! The Business was one of my favourite brit flicks, but I think that is a touch of the sun that makes it!

I was keen to see the this film, having heard a great deal about it when it was in pre-production, and the premise for the movie sounded interesting. During a football match between Germany and the UK, while the Police would have their hands full, a great diamond heist would be attempted by a London Firm. So far, so modern 'Italian Job'. A good idea that wasn't an American movie or a re-make. We've had a fair few gangster turkeys thrown our way in recent years, but this one had promise. It's the directing debut of 'Frank Harper' and with the team he assembled, it would be a good film. So I approached it with probably more enthusiasm than others that have reviewed here and will be as constructive as I can. The good: The cinematography is really nice, wide and sweeping shots make the best of the locations of London, Amsterdam and Berlin, though some of them serve no purpose. While the film looks nice and is slick, unfortunately the bad really lets it down. The story revolves around a London firm made up of two brothers and numerous other characters. Head of the firm is Micky (Harper himself). The dialogue in the first twenty minutes leaves you wincing, with the F word thrown into every line in abandon, with less effect the more frequently it is used - Yes we know cockneys and bad boys swear a lot, but sometimes less really is more. Characters have their own catch phrases 'Let me stop you right there son…' which I am guessing was to establish the familiar nature they have with each other to comical effect but falls painfully flat and sometimes is just embarrassing. The basic premise of the film, a heist under the cover of a football game doesn't really happen until the last quarter of the film, because our characters have to be placed in peril first in order to make the heist a necessity, fair enough, but it takes so long to get there that the heist itself almost feels inconsequential. There is also no real feel of a football game really taking place in Germany, making me wonder why the producers didn't wait until there was one and grab a couple of cameras and go out and film a ton of footage that could have been used to emphasise that there was a UK presence in the country, one shot of extras walking down grey steps (Which could be anywhere) isn't enough to demonstrate this, nice though it maybe. There is talk of days of a better England back in the day, and reference to Henry V but when someone says 'Hey you're never believe it, the job is on Saint George's Day' that's where the relevance of the title begins and ends. A subplot involving a 'grass' in the firm and another brothers attempt to leave and start a new life try to add some humanity to the story but one adds little and the other is left unresolved in a very unrealistic way when you consider the rules of the universe here that Harper has created. None of this can really substitute for the fact there that there is no real build up, tension or drama to the very hollow ending. The variable acting really diminishes the effect of some of the characters as they struggle with the most banal dialogue imaginable. While the cast is filled out with some credible players such as Charles Dance (Who acts the pants off everyone he is in a scene with) and good indie britflick regulars Maskell, Fairbrass and Walters (A far better actor than the roles he is often given) who do their best but everyone struggles with the poor material. Vincent Reagen is so underused he might as well not have been there. Sean Pertwee is suitably sleazy as a bent copper but Jamie Foreman almost looks like he has stepped out of another time period as Micky's Policeman nemesis and Nick Moran is embarrassingly posh as a rich business yuppie. (Because anyone who isn't hard or cockney must be rich and irritating) Not all the dialogue is terrible, there were one or two moments of brilliance here and there but they were lost. Other reviews have mentioned the long tracks of voice-over, all of it Harper himself, leaving you in no doubt that he is the main architect of this creation. Much of it really isn't needed - things are explained in such a perfunctory way, when really the trust should have been placed in the actors to deliver much of this information. In 'Harpers world' female characters are reduced to being 'wets' or dumb blonde's to put it politely, and while I am not denying that such characters exist, it doesn't mean a film needs to be over populated with them to prove the point, nor does it make for good viewing. Yes, your target audience might be young men in the 18 to 40 age bracket who watch football and read lads mags but that doesn't mean you have to reduce every female in your story to their perception of a good night out. The Long Good Friday is given a mention in the script here, so it's worth noting one of the things that makes that movie so great is Helen Mirren's character. There are no such rivals for her crown here, women being reduced to meaningless bimbo's or drug couriers. I really wanted to like this film, and it had such promise but for his debut Harper really should have trusted in a good writer and cast himself in a more supporting role and lets other share in what could have been a great deal of glory of a good film. Alas here, as we are reminded so often in the credits (Both at the beginning and at the end of the film in case we somehow forgot) , this is a film of Harpers making.

St George's Day is directed by Frankie Harper, he also co-writes the screenplay with Urs Buehler and stars with Craig Fairbrass, Vincent Regan, Charles Dance, Dexter Fletcher, Nick Moran, Keeley Hazell, Jamie Foreman and Sean Pertwee. Music is by Tim Attack and cinematography is by Mike Southon.

Frankie Harper, one of the most liked and recognisable faces from the slew of British gangster and football hooligan films, turns his hand to try and make his own mark in what is becoming a bulging genre of Brit film. The kicker here is that he blends the two popular lad staples together by having a plot involving gangsters using a football rumble as cover for a robbery. In Berlin, Germany, no less and St George's Day as well! Cor blimey!

Plot is kind of incidental, which is just as well since it's not exactly a brains trust script. Film is filled out with the requisite amount of shouting, swearing, fighting, shooting, thieving, jingoism, sloganeering and lairy witticisms. Harper has surrounded himself with pals, clearly offering up reassuring presences to the budding director, while it's fun for fans of this splinter of Brit cinema to play spot the face. It's all very blokey and enjoyable enough for the undemanding, but the good idea on the page is not born out as the narrative often gasps for fresh air, the attempts at complexity ending up mundane.

The cinematography is a highlight, with the number of Euro locations used giving good visual tonics. Cast perform adequately as per the material, though Moran, Fletcher, Dance and Pertwee are under used and therefore wasted. There's enough in here to suggest Harper could offer something of value as a director, but maybe a little less crass for crass sake should be jettisoned in favour of some intelligence in the writing. Dexter Fletcher's debut outing as a director, Wild Bill, is a good marker, Frankie would do well to follow his mate's lead. 6/10

Do you remember the good old days, when an Englishman's home was his castle? When you could leave your front door unlocked? Every other person down your street was a Pearly King? and every night was spent having a sing-song around the old Joanna at the rub-a- dub, before doing the Lambeth walk all the way home? Well the makers of this film do….Every character in this formulaic tosh is either a cheeky, chirpy, annoying Cock-ernee or is a hulking, growling Jason Statham-a-like who'll screw your head off your shoulders for looking sideways at his pint. St Georges day seems to be aimed at a typical 15- 22 year old lads mag audience and fair enough, but there isn't enough meat on the bones here for even the most easily pleased "Nuts" magazine reader. The sex isn't sexy enough, the comic bits aren't funny and you'll see better orchestrated violence in any town centre Kebab shop on a Saturday night. The plot is paper thin (The Russian Mafia …How very 80's….Missing Cocaine….How original "2 out of 10. See me at the end of class")

The acting is as wooden as a crate of light ale. And middle aged men ruminating on World war 2 and what being an Englishman is all about, still yearning for the good old days, just smacks of lazy writing & casual racism. At times this almost plays out as a recruiting film for the English Defence League. No doubt a few knuckle draggers will get something out of the casual violence, drug taking and football thuggery but everyone else please steer well clear of this load of old Pony*

* Cockney rhyming slang….Pony & Trap = CRAP