Alive or Dead

Congrats alive or dead, you are tied for the worst movie i have ever seen, and you are tied with "i know who killed me" with lindsay lohan. I don't even know where to begin, i am so so confused with this movie i have never watched a movie that made me feel this way so many things don't add up, i have seen better acting in a 2nd grade play The start sucked and middle and end was worse, there were so many different story lines going on in this movie its like they took 3 really bad movies and made a super mega meca bad movie i know you don't know who i am but please do me a favor and don't ever ever watch this movie don't let your kids watch it either because it will make them stupid and you don't want that.

I've seen a lot of bad flicks in my time. Glen or Glenda, Date Movie, everything Uwe Boll's done, but this one takes the cake. Terrible acting, virtually non-existent plot and the cheesiest special effects I've laid eyes on make this a title that no one should view. Ever.

Cannibals? Flesh-eating little boys? A character strangely reminiscent of Lord Voldemort?

This film is absolutely terrible, one for the garbage bin and not the DVD player. I'd rather watch golf and eat paint chips.

For anyone considering viewing this tremendous crock of film feces, I'd suggest you instead pick up a few Richard Simmons tapes, collect the neighborhood fatties and sweat to the oldies. You'll thank yourself later.

I didn't have a lot of hope for this movie when I saw it was from Filmrise, and I feel I am correct. This movie has characters easy to dislike, doing stupid things, and a plot that makes no sense. Maria is driving down a rather deserted road, when she sees a bus on the side of the road. She stops, but when she starts to drive away, gets two flat tires. It was a trap, and on the bus was a young girl chained by the wrist. And it doesn't get much better from then on either. In fact, much later in the movie along comes a monk-like Howard, who gives a long narration that helps fill in some of the background. But by then, did one really care? And if that wasn't clear enough, still later is more background. By then one hoped the movie would be over. The movie is unpleasant, with some nasty bloody scenes.

Maria (the particularly lovely Ann Henson decked out in very flattering tight fitting clothes) is trying to have some fun on the phone while driving down a dark road when she sees a seemingly abandoned bus on the side of the road with 'help me' written on it. She decides to investigate and soon finds a chained up and hooded girl begging for her life. The abductor comes back, so Maria quickly hides. Soon the girl duo find themselves at a secluded castle trying to figure out what's happening while being chased by a deranged hillbilly (and others but I won't give away the, admittedly silly, 'twist').

The movie is entertaining enough if you're an indiscriminate fan of slasher films, but not really all that horrifying in the least and only gets really picks up steam in the last half hour or so. The movie is also extremely generic and this plot has been seen a million times over (and mostly better) All in all a silly forgettable little horror flick worthy of a rental if you have nothing better to do.

My Grade: C-

To set the scene, its a Sunday night Im Feeling a little hungover and there's nothing on TV so I decided to watch this movie. On reflection I feel my time may have been better spent naming each hair on my chest or perhaps attempting to carve a miniature Statue of liberty from a grain of rice.

Its starts good enough for a B movie, the acting a little pants but thats OK,the setting seems the same as 10 other movies you have seen that week but thats OK too.. I mean as long as there's some sort of story to it how bad can it be? Very Bad!!! Thats how bad! After 60 mins of boredom you are rewarded with nothing more than the dumbest "twists" ever and plot holes so big you begin to wonder what the plot was in the first place. Save yourself and hour and a half, let the girlfriend win and pick the movie this time, earn some brownie points...your missing nothing here.