Jakob's Wife: Meine Frau, der Vampir

A vampire movie? A commentary on religion? A feminist manifesto? A horror comedy?

SNL used to have a skit where a husband and wife argued over a canned product. The wife said, "it's a floor wax!" and the husband said, "No, it's a dessert topping!" And a salesman comes in and says "Hey folks, it is both! It's a floor wax and a dessert topping!"

Which brings us to Jakob's Wife.

Either the movie had too many writers, each with a different idea, or the main writer got stoned and lost his train of thought 2 or 3 times during the course of writing this movie.

In chronological order; it is serious, it is scary, it's funny, it is feminist, it's boring, it is stupid and bam, it's over.

Ugh.

A couple of fun, bloody effects, an interesting vampire who looks like Caillou with bad teeth and a couple of cops who get a few good lines. Other than that, nothing to see here.

'Jakob's Wife' can't really decide what it wants to be. It goes from a very subtle first act, to an extremely bloody and gory second act, to a comedy third act - almost to the point of becoming slapstick.

This is a very different vampire movie and will be for an acquired taste only. The film's highlight and draw card is undoubtedly screen legend Barbara Crampton, who was excellent as Anne Fedder. I'm not sure whether one could refer to her as the film's protagonist, but she is the lead, and magnificent! She also looks amazing. She plays a woman trapped in a marriage to a minister who repulses her. Once bitten by a vampire - which happened off-screen for some reason, by the way - she undergoes a transformation. This was very exciting, scary and funny. The first act was highly effective with a haunting score.

Unfortunately the film itself transformed, as it turns out. As mentioned, the second act became very bloody; and I mean bucket loads of blood squirting from victims. Unrealistic and overdone, to say the least. It was still entertaining in a way, but it then goes from this gory act to a humorist final act. The creature was scary in the beginning but in the third act he looked like a creature more suited for a comedy - as if a spoof from other vampire movie creations. The humor during the first act was really funny, but it became a bit overbearing during the final act. What a pity.

Still, this is not a bad movie and deserves a watch if you're into this genre - and a MUST if you're a Barbara Crampton fan.

Would I watch it again? I doubt it.

And succeeds in almost combining an otherwise dull vampire tale with a story of feminine liberation from marital woes. Crampton, one of the last legitimate scream queens, goes for the the gold. The core problem remains that horror films are supposed to provide thrills in otherwise dull lives. Today reality provides all the horror anyone can stand.

Barbara Crampton chews every bit of scenery in this film and takes us on a journey from repressed housewife to liberated vampire vixen. I thoroughly enjoyed the indie vibe, old school special effects, stellar cast, and nods to Salem's Lot. It felt like a labor of love and Barbara Crampton really gave it her all in every frame she was in. Jakob's Wife has a lot of heart and is a great little film that will provide you with laughs, gore, and plenty of Barbara slaying the screen.

This is a fun little film with some of both Crampton's and Fessenden's finest acting. It mixes a few genres into the horror. And the thing seems like a slice-of-life about a married couple that has to deal with a supernatural outbreak on top of their other issues. It goes in a few weird directions. I liked it.