- Sheriff Hadley: Oh my god! What is this 11 new emails on this thing this morning.. Jesus Christ, this is worse than my birthday...
- Sheriff Hadley: You're gonna have a hard time getting my generation off the stage. Willie Nelson's still doing concerts!
- John Marshall: Yeah, I mean, to be fair, Dad, Willie Nelson is a guitar player and he's not doing a lot of heavy police work.
- John Marshall: I'm having a hard time with this thing, honey. It's nothing you have to worry about. I'm gonna find the guy, obviously. But I'm just curious if you still have that pepper spray that I got you for Communion.
- Jenna Marshall: Umm, I think so. You realize that was a weird gift to give somebody right?
- John Marshall: I do. It's okay. You'll never need it. But I want you to promise me that you're gonna find it and keep it on you at all times.
- John Marshall: What was it?
- Officer Julia Robson: Beer bottle.
- John Marshall: Beer bottle? Who would wanna throw a beer bottle at a cop car?
- PJ Palfrey: Hey officer? If you do find him, don't arrest him. Shoot him. Shoot him until you can see the ground through his face.
- Officer Julia Robson: This is the job. And it sucks. Often! But you're gonna lose a lot more than that if you don't start focusing on the important stuff. You wanna be sheriff? How about we start acting like one?
- Officer Julia Robson: Animal hair is part pitbull, but that's because Hanna was a dog owner; the rest of the hair is all grey wolf. Lab's still working on it, but it's possible that a pack of wolves visited our crime scene between her murder and our arrival, but that seems unlikely. Teeth are consistent with a wolf, so if anybody sees that Michael J. Fox guy walking around, let me know.
- Officer Julia Robson: John, we're going to need fingerprints, her top is gone.
- John Marshall: [Stuttering] Her what?
- Officer Julia Robson: Her head. Her head is gone.
- John Marshall: ...Got it.
- Sheriff Hadley: Any signs of sexual abuse?
- Officer Chavez: Could you have Officer Robson fill you in on that, Sherriff? We have a lot of work here.
- Sheriff Hadley: You can answer that question. I may look old but I can handle it. Any sign of sexual abuse?
- Officer Chavez: [exasperated] Sherriff, that part of the crime scene is 'missing', at the moment. Do you mind speaking with Officer Robson about that?
- Officer Julia Robson: [under her breath] Everyone laughs until she lays out the crime scene photos...