Meine Frau, die Spartaner und ich

I don't know how my brain allowed me to see this picture. I thought it would be like trying to suffocate yourself; your body would just shut down before you could do it. Apparently I was wrong. I sat through this movie and laughed once, and that was during the preview for another movie. There was the odd part where I might have cracked a smile or thought, "This might be funny if..." but there is a very good reason for that. Instead of making good jokes and thoughtful humour, the writers decided to just constantly send an endless stream of jokes at you and hoped one of them made you chuckle. This movie was truly atrocious. You would think after having their last two films be on the bottom 100 of this site, the makers would say, "Lets try something different," but no, it is the exact same as Date Movie and Epic Movie; Bad.

A dismal failure of a spoof with only the slightest bit of funny. This dreck breaks all the rules of good spoofing.

1. Be timely. A joke about Ellen in Mr Wrong? Really?

2. Be funny when offensive. Accident prone kid in Scary Movie 3, mildly funny. Assault on a kid by Spartian, not funny.

3. Be subtle sometimes. Not everything has to go to the extreme.

4. Be broad. Go everywhere for your spoofs, not just the same wells over and over.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY....

5. DON'T EXPLAIN EVERY RIFF AND SOURCE MATERIAL. If you have to tell your audience where it comes from, chances are it's not funny.

The fact that this film is only 60 odd minutes plus one of the longest credit sequences loaded with even more unfunny deleted scenes (seriously can't those wait for the DVD no one should buy either), that's just adding insult to injury.

Anyone who would remotely consider themselves to be a fan of the spoof genre would reject this trash. I'll be the first one to admit that taste is subjective, but the guys that made this movie lack any sort of talent for this type of movie

I implore anyone to check out the following spoof movies:

Airplane! Top Secret The Naked Gun The Naked Gun 2 1/2 Hot Shots Hot Shots: Part Deux Kentucky Fried Movie (yes, its "old" but a classic none the less) Mafia! BASEketball Scary Movie 3 Sacry Movie 4

Not all of these are great. Many are a product of their era. Some are downright "average" spoof movies, at best. But compared to "Meet the Spartans" (or Epic Movie or Date Movie) they are a BILLION times better. And they have one thing in common... Zucker / Abrahams / Zucker (also must give props to writer Pat Proft). These guys INVENTED this genre. Watch these films and you will realize Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer are talentless hacks who think just making a reference to pop culture is funny.

If Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer are reading this, I suggest you might want to watch these movies as well. You might learn a thing or two.

Me movie is good. Me am smart. Make funny ha ha joke! Ha Ha! Me show you... ug.... people you am know from pop culture tabloids. Me make fun of them! Me show you fat person and you laugh! You laugh at little midgets and farting! PBBBLLLP! Fart noise! HA HA Funny! Me poop my pants. In funny movie Meet Spartans I make fun of other movie. I take scenes from movies you know and make them funny. I add farts or have people kicked down into a hole. I make funny gay jokes about gay people! Ha ha! Don't forget, you laugh at Kevin Federline because he is big loser! Him think he can rap just like me think me can write joke! Me write movie! You remember Epic Movie? Me write that too. Me write with crayons or my own poop that I scoop out of toilet after I fart and go pooh. Me make funny jokes about Paris Hilton. She so stupid! She am loose sexually. Ha HA HA! Me write sequel soon. Me deserve bazillions of dollars for buying things me stupid family deserve. Me ug fbloduad boodle! HAHA!

Was this a bad movie? Compellingly bad. So bad that you have to see what comes next. There are more gay jokes in this flick than can be found in a double feature of "The Bird Cage" and "The Torch Singer". Were the Spartans homosexuals? Duh! Why did I like this movie? "Meet the Spartans" was a structure-free movie, possibly made without a script. Each joke must stand on its own and does. Throughout is the best imitation of Leonidas I can imagine, saying things that I never thought would leave the actor's mouth.

This movies isn't Airplane, but it is funny. More than funny, it is fun. Anyone that can fit spiderman into a movie about ancient Greece isn't all bad...