Dark Rising: Bring Your Battle Axe

Dark Rising is your typical bad, obviously quickly produced horror/sci-fi/fantasy movie. It has a strange, unexplained plot with holes so big you could fit an elephant through them. Most of the time I didn't know what the hell was going on but it didn't really matter, it was a simple demon hunter returns from hell dimension to save campers story with confusing stuff added on about witches and a book of evil with plot elements and characters who make no sense or disappear totally for no reason. The acting is bad but there honestly is not much they can do with this script I am guessing. There is a couple topless scenes which is probably the only reason this bad movie got made (like so many other bad movies). Give this one a pass unless there is nothing else on T.V.

This movie is lame and not funny at all. The plot doesn't even make sense. Some scientist who works on the fringes of science opens a doorway to another dimension (maybe hell???) and his daughter gets sucked through it or something, then one day for no apparent reason she comes back and now she has big breasts and wears a skimpy outfit (I guess the demons in the other dimension made it for her?) The main character is a guy who wants to marry his girlfriend but she is gay so obviously she's more interested in her new girlfriend, and they stumble upon this witch spell book (they want to be witches or something???) and the evil spell ends up getting read again which is how the evil demon comes to earth which only the bikini top girl and the spurned guy in love can stop apparently. There is topless scenes for no reason and a guy in it who my boyfriend says is a well known wrestler but his part is completely unnecessary, obviously they made something up just to put him in it because then maybe wrestling fans will actually watch this pointless movie. I'm sure the topless girls doesn't hurt there either. The extra features on the DVD were even more confusing than the rest of the movie, I thought it might help explain what was going on but it actually just made things more confusing. Who are these people and what are they doing? Basically this is a go-camping-to-make-out-then-fight-a-monster movie but there are a bunch of things (like the other dimension and book seller) than make it confusing. I didn't like the movie but it was only like five bucks so big deal. I don't recommend watching it though it was just too stupid, I can't think of any part of the movie that was good.

This movie kept me up one night not because it was scary but because it fell into that category of movie that is so bad in that way that you can't tear yourself away. Cheesy is the word. Bare bones plot, bad FX, guys and girls on a camping trip, skin shots and some gratuitous sex(that means it has nothing to do with the plot, just there because it's sex) and, because it's the 2000's and not the 70's said sex is between girls. They make many more like this they are going to have to start building drive-ins again.

The plot isn't difficult to follow being on the thin side not to mention one doesn't know if it is supposed to be horror or comedy. Father accidentally opens portal to other dimension. Daughter gets sucked in and is converted to be a demon fighter. 20 years later guy having problems with letting go former girlfriend organizes camping trip with former gf and friends. Would be witch recites the portal again and little girl, now all grown up, springs through, followed by a demon who starts killing the friends. Standard horror plot though there is a bit of a twist on the guy gets girl usual ending. It's so bad it's good though no who, why or wherefore is given as to why this girl is kidnapped and trained as a demon fighter other than the fact that there is a demon. Also the training scenes are so disjointed and quick cut that one might not figure out what the hell is going on.

Citizen Kane it ain't but for good, cheesy can't stop watching, it more than fits the bill.

As a girl, Summer Vale witnesses her father attacked by dark forces. She is taken by those dark forces into a brutal S&M existence. Jason Parks is organizing a trip with brutish friend Ricky. Marlene brings along his ex Jasmine as her lesbian partner. Renee uses her natural skills, a magic book, and a special place to call upon Summer Vale.

This is straight up B-movie territory. It's better than most but it's still bad. The dialogue is clunky and cheesy. It's not quite bad enough to be funny. Jason's jokey tones do not work. The lead is a bad actor. Why would Summer's childhood home still exist in pristine condition after 20 years? The demon design is a mess. The acting is mostly B-level. It is curiously watchable but lacks any goodness.

If you look at it as a horror movie, it is not very good, but as a dark comedy it is alright. it took a weird turn with Summer thinking she was a princess, I think it would have been better if she had remembered her past and just told them about what had gone on while she was in that other world. Personally, to me, though he wasn't necessary for the film, Jason Reso's character made the movie, he was actually funny and was probably the only one who could do that fight scene at the end with Brigitte. All in all, it wasn't the worst movie, but it could have been better (personally I think the random lesbianism could have been done without, but I guess the guys would like that) The part I really did not like was the end, he could have come back like he left without the stupid costume and the showing of all those demons. If you are in the mood for a laugh with a little science fiction and gore, this is a good movie every once in a while...