Blond und blonder

There are bad movies, terrible movies even boring movies...I can watch most and put up until the end, not this time. Avoid this like the plague, annoying music throughout, terrible editing, no comedy, its tackier than a novelty mug...My missus wanted to watch this thinking it would be Legally Blonde material or something kind of watchable, but never better than average, chick flick. Its the first time she was begging me to push the stop button.

The Girls, well, they were not great to start with (Denise done OK in Starship Troopers and Wild things) but you have sank to the gravel. I feel like a mug having spent 30 minutes on this...Pamela Anderson is almost unrecognisable after much construction work to her face.

Please take my advice if you want to avoid wasting valuable oxygen and brain cells ranting at the utter mince that is on your screen.

Horrible premise, horrible script, horrible production quality, better than horrible acting make this movie a must watch. I cannot believe the budget on this disaster of a film is estimated at $8,000,000. Is that Canadian? Pam and Denise are the only reason to watch this attempt at a movie. I will always wonder how films such as these get greenlit. Just horrible.

Having typed all that, it is a fun frolic to enjoy during the early 2020's pandemic lock down.

How could I best express my feelings about this movie: hideous? a headache? lack of coherent writing? plain stupidity? Try all of the above for this travesty. And that just for the direction.

Story? Well I guess there is a story. Two dumb blondes look for a job after they crash a plane into a golf course. They are mistaken for a 'world renounced assassin' (sarcasm) and are 'hired' by two 'mobsters'. One thinks "taking him out" means a date, and the other gets the minor actor she dreams of. And of course, the turtle reserve for the farting turtle, that they build with the casino winnings.

Sounds likes all this could be funny? Guess again. They try to make it funny, but its not. Filming sequences aren't well done. I've seen better filming in Hong Kong movies. Visuals are average for a late 80s film. But the problem is that its a 2007 movie.

Not worth my time to ever watch this again. It still doesn't beat Danny Glover's "Out" movie from the early 80s as the worst movie of all time, but then again that film is in a class of its own. "F"

When I was at the movie store the other day, I passed up Blonde and Blonder, but something about it just seemed like it could possibly be a cute movie. Who knows? I mean, I'm sure most people bashed Romy and Michelle before they saw it, Blonde and Blonder might have just been another secret treasure that was passed up. But when I started watching it: Executive Producer Pamela Anderson, wow, I knew I was in for something scary. Not only that, but both of what were considered the pinnacle of hotness: Pam Anderson and Denise Richards, not to offend them, but they were not aging well at all and they're playing roles that I think were more meant for women who are supposed to be in their 20's, not their 40's. The story was just plain bad and obnoxious.

Dee and Dawn are your beyond stupid stereotypical blonde's, they really don't have a clue when it comes to what is going on in the world, it's just really sad. But when the girls are somehow mistaken for murder assassins, the cops are on their tale and are actually calling the girls geniuses due to their "ignorance is bliss" attitudes. They are set up to make a "hit" on a guy, and they think they're just going to "show him a good time", but the real assassin is ticked and wants the case and to kill the girls.

Denise and Pam just look very awkward on the screen and almost like they read the script the day before. I know that this was supposed to be the stupid comedy, but it was more than stupid, it went onto obnoxious and was just unnecessary. Would I ever recommend this? Not in a million years, the girls are just at this point trying to maintain their status as "sex kittens", it's more a sign of desperation and Blonde and Blonder is a huge blonde BOMBshell.

1/10

Pamela Anderson hasn't exactly set the world alight since the heady days of "Baywatch", and Denise Richard's career has pretty much gone in the same direction since "Starship Troopers", so with Anderson credited as executive producer as well as main star, the words "Be afraid. Be very afraid" were flashing inside my brain in great big neon forty-foot letters. The DVD was deep in the bargain basement bin in my local store, so I wasn't expecting much. It looked like it could be a laugh though. Mind you, Anderson is the wrong side of 40, and Richards is in her late thirties, both of whom playing characters who should really be played by much younger actresses in their early twenties.

It's not original - the girls think that "taking Mr Wong out" means taking him on a date and not doing a mob hit on him. That's about as sophisticated as it gets - Two dumb blondes who don't have a clue about what is going on around them. At least the writers avoid the use of too much toilet humour apart from the farting turtle, while most of the production money probably went on Anderson and Richards matching wardrobes and the final speedboat chase scene. What you're looking at here is basically a female version of "Dumb and Dumber". It'll never win any Oscars, but the fact they have already announced a sequel means that no matter what the critics thought, some people actually sat down and watched this film and it made a decent profit, so its clearly not all that rubbish. It helps if you switch your brain off, and if you do, you'll probably find that this film is a fair bit of fun. I do hope they re-cast some younger actresses for the sequel though. This is a franchise that could go somewhere. 6/10