The Bone Eater

I'm not really sure where to begin. From start to finish, bad, stinky bad, like stepping into a port-a-john on a 100 degree day. If you force yourself to watch this as I did, keep some Vicodin handy for the pain. I will never understand how flicks this bad make it past the cutting room without the entire reel ending up on the floor. The movie is a cross between Gumby rides Pokey, meets the terminator, meets Wally Beaver playing cowboys and Indians without the cowboys. I've seen better animation in the original cut of the Blob. You will get more entertainment from watching Gone with the Wind while suffering from the puke and poops. Bad acting and hokey lines will have you squirming and wishing you had rented Peewee's big Top or watched every episode of Gilligan's Island back to back. UGH..I'm going to go slit my wrist now.

Following an accident at a local dig, a local sheriff finds that the series of incidents around town are the result of a released Native American demon through the construction project and must find a way of stopping its rampage through town.

This one wasn't all that bad of an effort but did have some flaws to it. Among the few good parts here is the relatively high body count featured here that really makes for quite a fun time here as there's a lot of rather enjoyable encounters throughout. The opening resurrection at the site where it massacres the workers is quite fun, as well as the sequence where it takes out the archaeological diggers, the ambush at the side road where it gets the couple by their truck and another rather fun attack as it appears and takes out a series of guards while dealing with the workers and the local tribe at the construction site which is quite fun with the mystical incantations against it as all of these scenes are really enjoyable. There's also the rather fun scenes here with the spirit chasing after the dirt-bikers on a ghostly steed across the desert dunes and a latter high-speed chase down the highway which is highly fun, cheesy action scenes that gives this some fun action moments. As well, the creature here could've been quite fun here as this has some potentially enjoyable aspects here with its imposing appearance made of bones assembled into a fine-looking beast complete with a crown of bones as well as some fine weaponry, a really unique and inventive backstory that ties it into the area and a pretty clever way of finally dealing with it for a pretty nice main creature here and ends up being what holds it up over the several flaws here. Among the film's biggest issues here is the fact that there's absolutely no blood or gore here as the creature's attacks are never given to include the chance for any by being portrayed as him disintegrating them into a cloud of mass. There's a speculation that it's turning the victims into bones but just vaporizing them into a vapor of smoke isn't that appealing anyway trying to showcase this, and given the high body count there's some chances here to really have had some fun with the creature like this and it's wholly disappointing. Another big flaw here is the lame and utterly ridiculous CGI on display, which is used on the creature to make it so cheap and unconvincing that despite the cool-looking appearance it comes off laughable that it was allowed to pass through and completed here as it's simply a non-stop series of the usually- associated tropes of the style. The only other part here that holds this back is the totally unrealistic and over-the-top manner of the businessman's attitude towards the tribe which borders on ludicrous with how he expects what's happening to the relics left there that are continually being dug up, forcing more to hide. Otherwise, this one was quite decent.

Rated PG-13: Violence and some Language.

1986 brought us Chopping Mall from director Jim Wynorski, a classic in the genre. This here, Bone Eater won't be remembered. It contains a lot of very cheap and bad CGI but it's worth watching for the old thespians to see.

I guess that the budget went to the casting in stead of the effects. Main lead is by Bruce Boxleitner (Tron legacy (1982 and 2010)), but there are others to recogniz, Willam Katt from House (1986), Walter Koenig (from the Star Trak saga as Chekov),Veronica Hamel from Hill Street Blues (1981-1987) and Jim Storm from Dark Shadows (1966).

The story itself was rather okay and the acting was also okay but the CGI teared it into a funny flick. To give you an example of cheap effects, the earthquakes were done by shaky camera's and you could easily see that the trees weren't moving.

If you want to see the old brigade again than this is surely one to watch as a starter on a horror night with your pals. But if you think it will be a scary flick, forget it.

Gore 0/5 Nudity 0/5 Effects 0,5/5 Story 2/5 Comedy 0/5

I have made no secret of disliking SyFy's movies in general, though I see them for novelty value and because there are some that actually did on paper have decent ideas to work from. That was the case with Bone Eater, a good idea let down horribly by worse than bad execution. The acting is not great, neither is it terrible, though some of the cast are either over-eager or bland and the more likable actors in the movie are not given as much to do as they had potential to. Bruce Boxleitner is the best of the lot and he tries hard, though he's done better. But what could they do with a script that was so cheesy and sometimes childish in tone and characters that were so clichéd and the very anti-thesis of engaging. Not only have most of these characters been seen before many times whether in SyFy or not but often very irritating too, also like with the Sheriff and his daughter the relationships and development between characters are never fully explored. The story is dull, formulaic and far too silly for its own good with unexciting set pieces, a severe lack of suspense, an over-familiar and all too predictable inclusion of the villain(poorly written and over-compensated acting-wise) vs Native Americans angle logic lapses and a ridiculously contrived finale. The soundtrack sounds cheesy and even out of place apart from some atmospheric and rousing parts in the chase sequences, and the effects are both stiff and daft in look. Neat idea for the creature, but apart from the phantom skeleton horse, it looks pathetic and doesn't have any impact at all. The editing is often choppy too, there are the inevitable(and occasionally with SyFy fun to spot) continuity errors especially with the whole one hour left of daylight and it is still early afternoon thing, and the filming has moments where it is much too dark. Overall, bone-jarringly bad and one of SyFy's worst. 1/10 Bethany Cox

I thought i could see something good but... I am tired after seeing this movie, i don't know what i hated the most: the script, the acting, the FX or the music. Try to picture the worst Power Rangers episode and would still be to kind. I've seen better FX in FPS Games( The touch with the bone sword or his breath that is making the people disappear in a green smoke is touch of genius) and the music seems to come from a spaghetti western. I did liked how the women in the car was screaming, when the "monster" was walking around the car (even if she's looking in the wrong way). So give your self a break and don't watch this thing, at least call somebody up to see a horror movie with you, trust me you will end up playing monopoly for some kicks.