My family watches terrible movies every Saturday afternoon, notably MST3K and Rifftrax, so we have seen some cheapjack, head-scratching, miserable cinematic failures and quite enjoyed the idiocy of many. This was so deeply awful that even we very tolerant fans were disgusted at the truly HORRIBLE acting, if that's what you want to call it--we figured these people were relatives who wanted to be in a supposed "movie", hoping for their 15 minutes of fame. Infamy is more like. I can't believe that anyone connected with this was ever in anything else. We couldn't discern the plot, which was simply an incoherent mess, not helped by the abysmal sound quality. The cinematography, again, if that's what you can call it, was so bad we made faces at the strange filters and howled at the cue cards that showed in several scenes. Whatever was supposed to pass for special effects could better be found at a Halloween store combined with someone's phone which, by the way, we concluded the entire thing was filmed on. Gratuitous swearing to make the principal female character appear tough and current was stupid, as was a very Mediterranean appearing woman who was supposed to be a Native American and whose dialogue was so pedestrian and insipid we couldn't fathom why she was in it unless, see above, she was related to whoever was responsible for this travesty. We thought it was over--at last--at least three times ere it was actually over. So whom, exactly, was the audience? Where was this shown and did anyone actually pay (besides us gullible Rifftrax aficionados) to see it at a venue of some sort? Don't get me started on the music. In sum: utterly incomprehensible script, kindergarten-minus acting, laughable "effects", amateurish dialogue, annoying music, and not one redeeming aspect, altogether. There was no character about whom we did or could care. "Best of the Worst"? Someone was stone-inebriated when this was deemed the best of anything. The best comparison I can give? It was even worse than "Ice Cream Man."
