- Katya: Do you like fishnet stockings, Pierre? Wait. Let me rephrase. Why do you think it is that men like fishnet stockings so much?
- Pierre Peders: They look good on women.
- Katya: Fishnet stockings are a net, and the woman is imprisoned in this net like a fish. Do you get it?
- Pierre Peders: Yeah, and what about high heels?
- Katya: Well, high heels make walking very, very difficult. So you see, nothing would be more attractive to a man than a woman wearing fishnet stockings and high heels because she has trouble walking and she's imprisoned within this net and therefore he thinks she's easy prey. I know everything.
- Katya: [answering his question] What makes a man attractive? A scar.
- Pierre Peders: Why?
- Katya: Because... most women have one too.
- Katya: [angry] It's been very nice wasting time with you, Peter Peders.
- [she leaves restaurant table]
- Pierre Peders: [louder, so she could still hear him] You, too, Cunt-ya.
- Katya: Do you realize how many men would kill to be standing as close as you are now?
- Pierre Peders: [takes out the recorder] How many?
- Katya: Most.
- Pierre Peders: [she's laughing uncontrollably] What the hell is wrong with you? You on drugs or something?
- Katya: You have to feel sorry for me. I mean, I probably have silicone for brains.
- Pierre Peders: Yeah.
- Katya: You know that bastard of a surgeon must have transferred some in there from my tits.
- Pierre Peders: Do you want to be taken seriously as an actress? Is that why you had your breasts reduced?
- Katya: You miss my tits, is that it?
- Pierre Peders: Well, don't you?
- Katya: They weren't even mine to begin with.
- [first lines]
- Pierre Peders: [talking to his catatonic brother] I'm not just saying this 'cause you're my brother. Or even DC. I'm telling you, Robert, these cowboys are going down. But do I get to cover Washington? No.
- Pierre Peders: I have the unique privilege of interviewing Katya. Do you know who she is? I mean she's more famous for who she sleeps with than anything else. And for her fluctuating tit size. She's a real maverick, this one. She's had them reduced. Too bad for me, huh? Now I've got nothing to look forward to.
- Pierre Peders: [up in starlet's loft] This is some place you got here.
- Katya: The luxury of success.
- Pierre Peders: Well, when you move out, they can always make it an airport.
- Pierre Peders: Ah, right. So... were you always interested in acting?
- Katya: [looks at him blankly, then lets her forehead crash down upon the table] God! Pierre, Pierre, Pierre! If I were a politician, would you ask me such uninteresting questions? Am I that boring to you?
- Pierre Peders: Okay. Why do you choose only *the* most commercial crap that's out there?
- [Katya draws from her cigarette]
- Pierre Peders: Do you enjoy appearing in... B-movies and... horror films?
- [as she snubs out her cigarette:]
- Pierre Peders: Do you think you're any good in them?
- Katya: [defensively] I like my movies.
- [nods]
- Katya: You know, I may not be a great actress, but I will be one day. And, yes! I enjoy entertaining millions upon millions of people. How large is your readership?
- Pierre Peders: Oh, you know, I have dozens of readers. And I doubt that *any* of them were entertained by your performance in... uh... what was it?
- [remembers:]
- Pierre Peders: Life Of The Party.
- [as she picks up her glass:]
- Pierre Peders: Now that was scary. But it was supposed to be a comedy, right?
- Pierre Peders: [as she rests her head on his lap, he sighs] You know, I don't find you funny at all, Miss Katya. Why don't you try becoming a person first? Instead of a... rich, spoiled brat. Who knows how to turn on the charm. That's not the same as having talent, which I don't see you having much of. I'll tell you what you are good at, though. You're good at *lying.* But you lie mostly to yourself.
- [Katya appears to be asleep]
- Pierre Peders: Hey! You awake?
- Katya: Hanging on every word, Pop.