- What's global warming Penguin: Careful, you might start an avalanche.
- There's no snow Penguin: With what? There's no fucking snow!
- Jimmy: You know, I'm so full right now if I farted, a minnow would pop out of my ass. I'd probably eat it too.
- Narrator: And analogous to being a half-man/half-woman, Antarctica used to be populated by thick bushes, until millions of years ago when it slowly drifted to the south-most point of the Earth, where all hell froze over. America used to be populated by thick bushes, too, until they started bikini waxes and Brazilian cuts... Mmm-mmm, I miss big bushes!
- Narrator: Antarctica is one-and-a-half times the size of the United States, a claim once made in the 1960s by Cuba. But this isn't the story about a country who's just waiting for their next dictator to die. This is the story about the amazing creatures who for millions of years have lived here, in Mother Earth's frigid, white anus. This is a story about survival. It is a story about determination, but mainly it is a story about love, penguin love. This is the farce of the penguins!