- 'Grandpa' Ted West: [stands in the doorway trouserless] Has anyone seen my pants?
- Munter: There's a big fish up there with my name on it. Big snapper.
- Van West: It's a fish called Munter
- Munter: That's a cool name, eh?
- Van West: What's my fish called?
- Munter: Van. Van Fish. And it's friends with the other fish, the Munter.
- Van West: Yeah, and they like, swim around...
- Munter: Just cruising, cos that's the kind of fish they are.
- Van West: Yeah
- Munter: The Van Fish and the Munter Fish
- Van West: And they're cool, man.
- Munter: Of course they're cool, cos they're in the water.
- Munter: Hey, education is good. Up to the bit where you get expelled. Then you get to taste freedom.
- Munter: It must be hard. Trying to remember the truth when it's not actually the truth. It'd be easier if you could just lie, eh?
- Munter: To Van - I love you, man. But I really hope I'm never stuck in a life or death situation and you're the one who has to figure out how to rescue me
- Munter: I don't know what's happening with Van anymore. We used to have something, you know, special. Now all I get are text messages.
- Munter: They're big those Tongans, and no strangers to violence - cos their mums have been smacking them from when they was little.
- Munter: You just mimed rooting your own sister. You have to think about these things before you do them.
- Van West: [Angrily confronting Cheryl about her affair with Judd] You know what? I won't stay for tea. In fact, you can count me out of every dinner, whilst he's here.
- Cheryl West: Get over yourself, Jethro!
- Van West: Do you have any idea of what people think? What they're saying?
- Cheryl West: No! Not them or they. Just you and the grumpy bastard who lives downstairs. You are the only 2 who are holding Wolf up to his bloody sainthood, he doesn't deserve.
- Van West: You are married to the man for 20 fucking years and this is how you treat him?
- Cheryl West: How about the way he treated me, Jethro? Why don't you find him and have a go at him for a change?
- Van West: Because he's not the one who fucked around, Mom!
- Cheryl West: You want me to be the slut, Jethro? I'll be the slut. You've made your point. Now get over it!
- Van West: Jesus Christ! This is our home, Mom! I grew up in this house and you are disrespecting everything this family ever stood for. Fuck! If one of us tried to pull the shit you're pulling. Moving that fucking prick in here. You are off your fucking nut at us and we deserve it and you fucking know it!
- Cheryl West: Who died and appointed you "Wolf"?
- [Jethro punches Cheryl in the face]
- Cheryl West: You think you scare me, Jethro? You think your tough, like him? We'll, your not. You are never a patch on Wolf and you never will be. Here's that tea.