- [as Roddy is sent flying through a clothesline]
- Passerby: Is it a bird?
- Passerby #2: Is it a plane?
- Passerby #3: Is that guy wearing my underpants?
- Le Frog: We leave immediately!
- [strides off screen]
- Henchfrog #1: What about supper?
- Le Frog: [strides back on screen] We leave in five hours!
- Tadpole: Is it the Glorious Amphibian Dawn, dad?
- Toad: Anything for you, my little man.
- Tadpole: Can I have a pony?
- Toad: No.
- Tadpole: A puppy?
- Toad: We'll talk about it.
- Tadpole: Can we talk about it now?
- Toad: No!
- [All the tadpoles start asking for puppies]
- Toad: No, you can't all have puppies! Please, daddy's working!
- Roddy: Whatever's going on, I assure you, I'm not involved. I'm just an innocent bystander.
- Spike: Rita, Rita, Rita.
- [laughs]
- Spike: Thought you could give us the slip?
- [Slips and falls]
- Spike: What are you looking at? Keep still! Come on, then! Right! Who have we got here?
- Whitey: I believe he said his name was Millicent Bystander.
- Whitey: It's just that curry you had last night, Spike. I'm the same, I've got a bum like the Japanese flag.
- Le Frog: This bizarre obsession with rats; it is not good for you. You are becoming what we French call "le fruitcake!"
- Slug: High five!
- [He realizes he has no hands]
- Slug: Oh, yeah.
- Tex: Where's your helmets? Which one's the quarterback? Pick up the ball! Pick up the ball! Aw, these Brits don't know the first thing about football.
- Thimblenose Ted: Hey guys, I just had a tipoff. They're heading west, to Kensington.
- Spike: Bingo!
- Whitey: Scrabble!
- Spike: Enough games! To the Ratmobiles!
- [Roddy is using a cell phone as a shield as Rita throws crayons at him; the crayons dial a number]
- Take Out: Ha Chin Chinese takeout.
- Roddy: Yes, I'm being attacked by a madwoman! She's got crayons!
- Take Out: One chicken chow mein. With wonton?
- Roddy: No, crayons!
- Take Out: No wonton! You want rice? Fried or white?
- Roddy: Fried. No, wait!
- Take Out: You want wonton or what?
- Roddy: Cancel that order.
- Spike: Blimy, it's cold.
- Whitey: That's why I wore me mittens.
- Spike: Wha... Hitmen don't wear mittens! Take them off! You're embarrasing me!
- Whitey: It's all right for you. You've got little hands. They don't freeze as much.
- Rita: What are you, some kind of rat boomerang? Give me back my ruby!
- Roddy: I haven't got your ruby!
- [the ruby falls on his hand]
- Roddy: Okay. Well, now I've got your ruby.
- Toad: Where are those idiots!
- [talking to his tadpoles]
- Toad: It's so hard to get good help these days, my boys.
- [speaks baby talk]
- Toad: Yes, that's right. Oh, come on out, my lovelies. Cheer your old Dad up. Poor Daddy, surrounded by filthy rats in this joy-less, sun-less void! But don't worry, Daddy will get rid of them all. They'll all be deady-weddy.
- [Kisses tadpole tank. Whitey and Spike enter]
- Toad: Did you find it?
- [still in baby voice]
- Spike: Huh?
- Toad: [angered] Uh! Did you find it?
- Toad: [to Le Frog] Perhaps you forget that it was a rat who cast me from paradise.
- Le Frog: [Rolling his eyes] Oh please not the scrapbook again.
- Toad: [pulls a book off a shelf] My memoirs , volume one details the dire and tragic story of my youth.
- Le Frog: Oh mon dieu.
- Toad: Of all the pets in Buckingham palace , young prince charles fancied me the best , we would frolic day after sunny day in royal abandon sharing that sweet and magical bond between boy and toad.
- Le Frog: Your going to make me throw up.
- Toad: We were inseparable until... it arrived THAT RAT , while the poor boys head was turned , I was cruelly plunged into a whirlpool of despair.
- Le Frog: I know I know you were flushed away down the loo right? boo hoo hoo, it is so dark, so cold, so terrible
- [chuckles]
- Le Frog: .
- Toad: You find my pain funny?
- Le Frog: I find everyones pain funny but my own, I'm French.
- Toad: [stands up and knocks over a table] Just get that cable.
- Roddy: Will you please tell these people I'm not involved in this?
- Rita: Fine. All right, all right, listen up. This gentleman, he's not from around here.
- Roddy: Thank you.
- Rita: Just look how nicely he's dressed.
- Roddy: Ah, thank you.
- Rita: And why? Because he's an international jewel thief!
- Roddy: Precisely... What? No, no!
- Rita: This is quite tasty.
- Roddy: Thanks. I don't think it's too bad, considering I only had an apple, four raisins and a box of rice.
- Rita: Rice?
- Slug: [singing] What's that urge from deep inside? / The need to hurl won't be denied / That isn't rice, that's maggots you're eating.
- Maggots: Larva, larva, larva...
- Roddy: Well. That explains why it all ran to one side when I put salt in it.
- Whitey: So you're from up top, eh? I used to work in a laboratory up top. Yeah, big shampoo job. I was dark grey when we started. Still, it cleared up me dandruff.
- Rita's Dad: Wave. Wave!
- Crowd: [shouting] England!
- Rita's Dad: No! Giant wave!
- [everybody turns around and screams]
- Roddy: [singing] Ice cold Rita / Never did I meet a / Girl who's half so cruel / I offered her a jewel / But she left me stuck / Stranded on a duck / What a shoddy thing to do to Roddy... Me! / That's Roddy St. James of Kensington.
- Singing Slugs: Poor, poor Roddy / Flushed down his own potty / Rita, can't you find it in your heart... to help him?
- Roddy: How mean can one rat be? / Ice cold Rita / Won't you be sweeter to me?
- Sid: You were going to flush me down the loo!
- Roddy: No, no, no! It's a big jacuzzi, the deluxe model!
- Sid: Well then, you won't mind if I get the bubbles going, will ya?
- Roddy: No, not the lever! Have mercy! No! No! I can't swim!
- Sid: Bon voyage, me old cream cracker. Hold your nose.
- Roddy: No, no, no! You can't do this!
- Sid: You were going to try and flush me? Let's see how you like it!