Arachnia

A meteor forces a small plane to make a crash landing. For the six passenger, their problems are just beginning. The survivors have landed in the middle of a giant spider invasion. Hold-up in an old, abandoned house, they'll have to use all their resources if they are to make it out alive.

No beating around the bush here - Arachnia is bad. Everything about the movie scrapes the proverbial bottom of the barrel. The special effects are totally lame. The spider in Earth vs the Spider, made 45 years earlier, is more convincing. The acting is even worse. Most of these people have absolutely no business being in a film. Bevin McGraw as Trina is the worst. I'm not sure when I've seen a poorer performance. I've seen lines of dialogue in a 3rd grade play delivered more believably. Speaking of dialogue, these people say some of the most nonsensical things. They all sound like idiots. This is a complete mess of a movie.

However, there are some things to enjoy. Granted, most of it is in that "so bad it's good" sort of way, but I found myself enjoying bits of the movie despite all the problems. The enjoyment was minimal, but I can see how a group of friends with enough alcohol might find some entertainment.

I like giant monster movies, hence I like giant spiders. So I guess I just had to see this one sooner or later. "Arachnia" is basically a total cheese-fest, bad to the bone. The nice touch was that it is sort of an homage to 50's & 60's giant monster/insect movies. So don't expect one original aspect here, story- or otherwise. The acting in general was, as to be expected, too bad for words. The effects aren't good either, actually, but they still are a lot of fun. Because the film-makers mostly used stop-motion (in the year 2003!, mind you) to bring the spiders to live. Needless to say, it's not on par with Ray Harryhausen's work. All-in-all: Kind of fun in a very bad way.

Director Bret Piper's ARACHNIA opens with college professor Munkford (David Bunce) and his students crash-landing in an airplane, and winding up in an old farmhouse.

As the evening progresses, it becomes evident that: #1- Munkford is a creepy pervert! #2- Two of his students, named Trina and Kelly are beautiful, but whiney and brain-deprived! #3- Two other students, named Chandra and Sean are the only members of the group, aside from Munkford, possessing the ability to count past twelve! After the friendly farmer shows them a cow-sized arachnid carcass, humongous horror crawls forth on segmented legs!

This is where Piper's stop-motion and practical creature effects shine, far better than in some of his other films. Make no mistake, this is one big ball of cheeeze-corn from start to finish. However, it is highly entertaining nonetheless. Be sure to stick around for the VERY low-rent military response to the giant bug monsters!

Have no fear, there's nothing serious going on here!...

Yep, it's good fun, somewhat low-buck, er, um, no-buck special effects of the Harryhausen school, unintentionally funny dialogue, actors who seem to be buying the preposterous plotline, a couple of cute girls for the guys, a suitably hunky leading man, and spiders, spiders, spiders! Highly recommended on the fun scale, if you're expecting Oscar winners, you're in the wrong place....definitely worth a rental! Oddly enough, none of the reviews I've seen have mentioned the chemistry between the two leads, nice sparks between the two, and believable, plus, she's quite hot, also, all the actors, except for the requisite slimeball come off as very likable folks. My only complaint is that the Vermont location used for shooting can never look anything like the supposed Arizona in the plot...

Overall, not a bad horror flick. The monster scenes were sketchy, choppy and unrealistic. There was Alexxus Young starring nude in it, which is nice to watch. I didn't find is as much horror as I did comedy but thats okay. I would give it a 5/10.