The Mummy's Kiss

I'm not sure about "The Mummy's Kiss"; really, I'm not. I just finished watching it, and I'm puzzled. This film isn't a softcore film in the sense that there's simulated sex-a-plenty and a flimsy plot...oh no. "The Mummy's Kiss" appears to be a badly done horror film with the expected low-budget special effects. However, since there was plenty of nudity and had a softcore feel to it, it fits into this category too.

The basic plot of the story is as follows: There's an ancient history professor, Carter Moore, who is involved with one of his students, Ana Harwa (Sasha Peralto, a relatively fresh young face). She bears a striking resemblance to an ancient Egyptian princess, Hat-Em-Akhet, who had a lesbian relationship with an evil sorceress, Hor-Shep-Sut. This sort of thing was frowned upon back then, so Hor-Shep-Sut had her heart removed from her body and put into a jar while the rest of her was mummified, never to be seen or heard from again.....until Ana's uncle, Dr. Wallis Harwa, discovered Hor-Shep-Sut's tomb. Unfortunately, a lowly security guard stumbles over the tomb and opens it, letting Hor-Shep-Sut's spirit out. She takes her human form again (character played by Mia, using the alias Ava Lake). She assumes the name Ramsay Amun and starts getting friendly with Ana.

From here it gets somewhat interesting, as Ana discovers who she really is while her boyfriend rushes to stop Ramsay from completing the sacred ceremony which will unlock the spirit of Hat-Em-Akhet resting within Ana. Did I mention he has a hot assistant, Tina Kim (Aysia Lee, another fresh young face)? Throw in a bevy of horny college girls doing anything to get with the professor and a moderate dose of Regina Russell as one of these college girls (she can't play a college girl for very long--I mean, if her birthdate on IMDB is right, she just turned 30) and you've got a fun film, even if it's confusing.

Now on to the sex. There's very little of it, but there's a heavy dose of nudity. The sex is strictly of the lesbian variety (since this is a Seduction Cinema venture, I was expecting that), with mostly slow motion hugging and kissing. The sex scenes weren't even "Playmate of The Apes" quality. A few quick kisses, some bare breasts, and onto the next scene.

This isn't a great film by softcore standards--worse yet, it's not even average. The plot was kind of clever, but all the fading-in and fading-out wore on me after a while. I'm sorry, but this isn't tapeworthy.

Women: B+ (Mia had the best part of the film, and she's still got a killer body. Sasha Peralto and Aysia Lee were cute, and Regina Russell was kinda just there for the most part. Katie Lohmann, who played the role of Isis, was the best looking one. She poses through the opening credits and the audience gets a good look at those huge boobs of hers. I'm a sucker for big boobs.)

Sex: F (There weren't enough sex scenes, they didn't last long enough and they were extremely slow. Not much else to say there.)

Story: D+ (I read the script of this film, and I have to say that the script was better than the finished product on the TV screen. Some scenes were edited out and some words were rearranged, but I definitely would like to see the version of the film I read in the script--it had more sex in it and seemed more entertaining. Ramsay had the best lines by far.)

Overall: D+ (A fairly high grade in the "Women" category is balanced out by a failing grade for Sex. The barely passable story keeps this film from getting an F. Then again, I have to think about giving an F to a film with Mia and Regina Russell in it. In short, this film gets watched via channel surfing, but it's far from Skinemax appointment viewing.)

This film essentially begins at a university where a college professor by the name of "Carter Moore" (George Thomas) and two of his female assistants named "Ana Harwa" (Sasha Peralta) and "Tina Kim" (Aysia Lee) are busy unpacking some crates full of ancient Egyptian artifacts. As it so happens, one particular crate contains the mummified body of an evil sorceress named "Hor-Shep-Sut" (Ava Niche) who was put to death for having a forbidden affair with the pharaoh's daughter "Hat-Em-Akhet" (also played by Sasha Peralta). Although the professor and his two assistants are quite eager to remove the mask of the mummy to see what she now looks like, just seconds before doing so, Ana suddenly becomes dizzy and faints. Needless to say, this puts a damper on their curiosity and, after reviving her, they all agree to hold off for the time-being. Unfortunately, after leaving, a guard by the name of "Dick Walters" (Stan Bennett) decides to look for himself and accidentally awakens the evil sorceress who now becomes determined to reunite with the soul of her long-lost love--and that soul now belongs to Ana Harwa. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that I was not at all impressed with this film as it contained bad acting, an awful script and a completely ridiculous plot designed primarily for an adult audience. On that note, I will admit that there were several attractive actresses featured with Diana Espen (as "Yvonne"), Katie Lohmann (as "Isis") and the aforementioned Aysia Lee probably standing out the most, in my opinion. But even so, none of these young ladies were able to correct the problems mentioned earlier and I have rated this movie accordingly.

This may be a simple, adult late night B-movie, but I feel that when you make one in an unusual setting like an ancient egyptian horror tale, you might include some talent on the director's part. This movie tries to be interesting with flashbacks tto ancient egypt which boast locations that are so obviously the producer's backyard in California which just happens to have palm trees in it. With the digital special effects they bothered to include in this "skin flik", you'd think the least the director ccould do was direct the mummy not to walk like an anal exam victim, or maybe the director could have included at least ONE CREATIVE CAMERA ANGLE.

ADULT MOVIE. A disgraced ancient Egyptian sorceress(Ava Niche)is brought back to life in modern day Los Angeles to reclaim an old love in the spirit of a college student(Sasha Peralto). Naked lovin', touchin' and squeezin'. Flimsy, hackneyed story line; but at least one is attempted. Also in the cast are: George Thomas, Aysia Lee and Richard Lynch. Listed as a horror movie; but actually just a skin flick.(I am not complaining).

A mummy of an Egyptian sorceress comes to life and happens to be a sexy young lady. She needs to reunite with her princess lover from the olden days and the old soul is in the professor's daughter of all places.

Right away you get the feeling your watching one of those Seduction Cinema flicks with Misty Mundae. This one though has Richard Lynch playing the professor who found the mummy. There is of course tons of nudity. Don't expect much of a plot here, just a lot of breast rubbing and essence stealing.

I did see the sequel The Mummy's Kiss: 2nd Dynasty first but trust me it doesn't matter which one you see first.