- Doctor 1: I'm afraid... we lost them.
- [girls gasp and begin to cry]
- Doctor 1: [other doctor enters]
- Doctor 2: It's okay, they'd been taken up to the top floor. We found them.
- 1st AD: Excuse me, Miss Cher, there's a few fans outside hoping for autographs.
- Cher: Allright, but I am not taking any pictures.
- Cute Autograph Girl: Oh shit, it's just Cher.
- Dart in Head Guy: [with dart stuck in his head] Hey, do I look different to you?
- Man: You got a dart in your head, you dumb shit.
- Cher: [to extremely young lover, while in bed together] Go to bed. You have a geography test in the morning.
- Bob: [to Walt, on the operating table just before the twins are anesthetized for dangerous separation surgery] Promise me you'll still be there when I wake up.
- Walt: Times up Casanever. Can I join you for a drink?
- Bar Hottie: Sure.
- Walt: Okay, what's your name?
- Bar Hottie: Debbie.
- [they shake hands]
- Walt: Hi I'm Walt Tenor.
- Bar Hottie: Nice to meet you.
- Walt: Nice to meet you!
- Morty O'Reilly: I'm gonna have to level with you. Siamese twins ain't the easiest sell I've ever had.
- Bob: We're not Siamese. We're American.
- [Walt and Bob are considering separation]
- Walt: Think about it. You'll be able to read a book alone, play golf by yourself,
- [whispering]
- Walt: masturbate in private like the good Lord intended.
- Bob: What are you talking about?
- Walt: Oh, please, last night it was like trying to sleep next to a paint-shaker.
- Morty O'Reilly: If you do this, you're committing career suicide.
- Walt: That's what they said when Erik Estrada quit "CHiPS".
- Morty O'Reilly: You're shitting me. He quit?
- May: [to Bob and Walt] Look, I was hoping we could have a word in private, I mean just the three of us.