The Anna Nicole Show

First of all, before I comment on this, let me set the record straight. I don't watch much TV. I prefer not to. The overabundance of idiotic reality TV shows and ungodly irritating commercials makes me wonder how the human being can withstand such systematic torture for such prolonged periods of time. With the exception of "The History Channel", "Sundance/IFC", the news, and some documentary channels, TV is an absolute waste. And I realize I'll probably receive some sort of backlash because of my comment on television altogether, but in all honesty I don't really care because I'm entitled to my opinion just like you're entitled to your own. Anyway, one with "Anna Nicole Show"...

Wow, really, wow! I realize that TV's trying to cater to society's lowest common denominator, but this is ridiculous! Someone please tell me how this became one of the highest rated shows on the network! Please tell me why any of this is viewed as funny. For comedy, I find things funny because of timing and comedic talent. Anna Nicole herself is such a no-talent brain-dead, we wonder if she even knows her own ass from a hole in the ground. If the answer to finding Anna Nicole funny is that it's a "riot" to watch her bumble around from place to place with only one hemisphere of her mind turned on, then the answer doesn't make me laugh. It makes me cringe. Sure we like to laugh at people like Anna Nicole, but isn't there an infinitely better and vaster amount of things to watch besides that?

And again, those of you watching it and find enjoyment out of it...go ahead! Feel free to watch it! I'm not one to say watch it or don't. But watching something like "Anna Nicole" and seeing how someone show dull in intelligence can make so much money and celebrity causes me to fear greatly for the future generations to come, whatever those may be.

I'm not sure why I enjoy this, because as other people have said, there certainly are grosser and more outlandish things on TV. These shows really are about nothing. One is about Anna looking for a house. Period. Another is about Anna having an eating contest with her attorney. Period. Another is about Anna going for a driving test. Period. And of course all have a sub-plot involving flambouyant Bobby Trendy decorating her house (which never seems to get done). I guess it all boils down to the fact that it is just amazing to watch someone who was so glamorous, sexy and unattainable turn into someone who doesn't care that she has crawled under a table and gotten her butt stuck between two legs! Her speech is almost always slurred so badly that it is very hard to believe she is not on pain killers or muscle relaxers and booze most of the time. But I love her!! I think her "Screw it" attitude is great! She just does not seem to care about anything! She knows there are cameras following her around at all times but thinks nothing of chowing down on Doritos and Stawberry Quik! I really feel sorry for her 2 assistants, Howard and Kim, who come across as being very desperate and secretly in love with her - both putting up with her childish temper tantrums. In one episode, Anna threw a fit and cursed out Kim because they were playing "Punch-Buggy" and Anna was insisting that the "new Volkswagon Beetles" do not count while Kim said that they did. So Anna got really angry - not "kidding around angry" but cursing her out and truly being p***ed off!! I guess Kim really doesn't have any other choice than to put up with it since she has Anna's face tattooed all over her body. Regardless of how heavy she is though, Anna still has a beautiful face, probably one of the most beautiful faces in the world. And it is refreshing to see a beautiful celebrity truly being herself, no matter how stupid and childish, rather than taking on the same boring mundane personality that is expected of them and that most other celebrities take.

I recently took a bet from a friend that I couldn't watch the first season DVD set of The Anna Nicole Show all in one night. The bad news is I won this bet. I don't enjoy watching a mentally unstable or heavily medicated woman go about her life. I didn't enjoy her trip to Chipendale's. Nor her goin to see "Puppetry of the Penis". I could've lived without seeing Anna's toothless white trash cousin flashing multiple times AND I had no desire to see Margerette Cho make out with Anna. (although I always had Cho pegged as being like that). Oh did I mention that the DVDs are uncensored, so all of the above possibly scarred me for life. Also on the commentary for the Christmas special Anna herself says some of it is faked by the E! crew. My Grade: F

I've seen most episodes of the "The Anna Nicole Show" and I think it's trashy, dumb, and entertaining. It's appeal to me is that it's about a woman who has absolutely nothing to do but wait on her money from her deceased ex-husband, while she concentrates on daily chores like going to the dentist(how TRAUMATIC!),decorate her home to her own "foo foo" tastes with an interior decorator who sucks up to her, and order her ever-present assistant and attorney around. The last show I saw Anna and crew needed a break from things so badly they traveled to Las Vegas for gambling, strippers, drinking, and food. Anna and her attorney, Howard K. Stern, were getting wild, cuddling with the strippers and rubbing all over each other. Even at a buffet,(she was hungry after all that activity) Anna does not serve herself - her attorney and assistant guess what she wants, and then are surprised that Anna wanted something healthy like a salad and forgot to get it. She still has a beautiful face, and has gotten quite heavy, but it seems to not bother her unless someone brings it up - she is happy to run around in belly shirts and exotic/revealing clothing. As long as she's happy, everything is fine. She's got a short temper, the patience of a 5 year old, and goes from speaking clearly to sounding like she is spaced out on something. It takes all kinds I guess, and she certainly is one of a kind. She is outrageous, to say the least. I think it's kind of entertaining to watch, really. I can't wait for the next episode where Anna takes her pooch, "Sugar Pie" to a pet psychic!

Network: E!; Genre: reality, documentary, comedy; Content Rating: TV-14 (for adult content); Classification: Contemporary (Star range: 1 - 4);

Season Reviewed: Season 1+

Wouldn't you know that E!: Entertainment Television was a cable channel that will look at the phenomenal success of the first season of 'The Osbournes' and have absolutely no idea what they are seeing. In trying to create their own version of the monster hit MTV docu-comedy, 'The Anna Nicole Show' mis-reads everything that is so engaging and likable about the Osbourne family. Based on the chosen subject of this show, they think we like Ozzy because he slurs his words unintelligibly or that we like Sharon because she's a spoiled Beverly Hills transplant. That, a few extra pounds and a trailer park attitude is pretty much all you'll find in Anna Nicole Smith - who E! wants to position as America's favorite strung-out, gold-digging over-grown baby.

Possessing not one shred of the wit, irony and evident unconditional love of 'Osbournes', 'Nicole' wants us to arrogantly mock Smith and feel better about ourselves watching her 1) house shopping while trying to find a bathtub she can fit in (no joke) 2) humiliating her son over the telephone and on theme park trips 3) being wrangled around by her handlers and specifically lawyer Howard K. Stern (an obvious tie-in in the making for E!) 4) giving us a fleeting but nonetheless traumatizing glimpse into her masturbation habits and 5) babying her dog Sugar Pie. That's it. That's the show people. If it sounds like your kind of television than you'll be in hog heaven, but you might feel awful in the morning.

This isn't hip it's just sad. I don't need my TV classy. I'm not going to call this exploitative or condemn people who want to make fun of what a pathetic individual Anna Nicole Smith has let herself become. I just need these type of shows to be funny, which this isn't. The problem with this kind of extreme television is that the results are just as extreme - it can be terrific (as evident by the perfect contemporary 4 star score I gave to 'The Osbournes: Season 1'), but when it falls it falls hard and lands flat on it's face. A miserable failure.

This show could have been a rich, stupidly funny satire of a celebrity who has outlived Hollywood's usefulness of her, but would Hollywood-worshiping E! really ever go for something like that? They just want this to be a drive-by car-wreck. It's about that much fun. "Anna" is nearly un-watchable, network constructed dreck, dragging not just through the episode, but from commercial break to commercial break. It's got a cute animated intro, I'll give it that. Reminds me of the 2nd season 'Strangers With Candy' intro. I'm sure that's not what E! was going for.

½