- Brad Gluckman: Traffic, traffic lookin' fo my chapstick, feelin' kinda car sick, there's a Ford Maverick.
- Tec: Hey, yo, that was ill. Hey, where'd you learn that from?
- B-rad: Grand Theft Auto 3.
- Tec: Word? Can I borrow that?
- B-rad: You got a, uh, Playstation 2?
- Tec: Nah, I got GameCast.
- B-rad: GameCast? Well, there's GameCube and then there's Dreamcast. Which you got?
- Tec: Well, I said I got Gamecast, man. Damn! I can't afford it!
- Brad Gluckman: My name is B-rad. Not Robbie van Winkle. I like my lattes non-fat and don't fo-get the sprinkle.
- Uncle Louie: What's the theme of your party, kid? Star Wars? Baseball? Superheroes?
- 13 yr. Old Brad: It's O.P.P., bitch!
- Monster: Don't you talk about my mama.
- Hadji: I'll talk about your mama all I want.
- Monster: Hell, no! Yo mama so fat, she got every caterer on speed dial!
- Mocha: Ooh!
- Hadji: What? Uh-uh uh-uh. Yo mama so fat, she uses Mexico, the whole country, as her tanning bed.
- Monster: Yo mama so ugly, Jose Eber won't even do her hair!
- Mocha: Ooh!
- Hadji: Yeah? Yo mama so ugly, she's only been married once.
- Mocha: Whoo, haha.
- Monster: Yo mama so poor, on Hallowe'en, her trick was the treat!
- Hadji: Yo mama so poor, that your tits are real!
- Mocha: Oh no!
- Brad Gluckman: I got sumtin' to say, and I need the world to hear it. I'm a lyricologist. I can rap about anything. Shrink, shrink. Blinkity-blink. Tried to make me think. Wanna go to my sink. And vomit. Clean it up wit' Comet. Earth is my planet. See? I'm the shiznit.
- B-Rad: And If I work hard, I can be the biggest rapper there ever was?
- Ronnie Rizzat: Rapper? Hell, no, you stink.
- B-Rad: Don't be hatin'.
- Ronnie Rizzat: I'd rather eat garbage then listen to your tired-ass rhymes.
- Sean: [in front of Shondra's house, to B-rad] You a long way from the beach now, punk! We in South Central! The ghetto! The projects!
- [Shondra gives him a dirty look]
- Sean: We run hardcore up in here. People get killed here errrrrrry day!
- PJ: [throws up signs] YAY YAAAAAYYYYY!
- Sandy: [walks past the house with two other cute little girls] Shondra, can you come over later? Princess just had puppies.
- Shondra: [sweetly] Okay, Sandy. Bye.
- PJ: [after B-Rad gives him a funny look] Pitbull puppies, fool!
- Sean: And they mean, too.
- Sean: [to Brad] You ain't black! You can never be black! And your perpetratin' ass is taking the only thing I got left: my CULTURE!
- [when B-Rad appears on TV shooting at people]
- Everyone: OH MY GOD!
- Bill Gluckman: Bill Gluckman is Down with the Bitches and Ho's?
- Tom Gibbsons: It was suppose to have read, Women are First with Gluckman.
- B-Rad: Nah Nah, that's old school, Pops. You need to keep your pimp hand strong.
- Bill Gluckman: Are you trying to get votes out of this?
- Tom Gibbsons: I'm trying to win and you don't seem to care!
- Bill Gluckman: I'm his father!
- Tom Gibbsons: Since when?
- Bill Gluckman: ...Since right now. And you're fired.
- B-Rad: [to his parents and psychiatrist about when he becomes a famous rapper] I'll buy you ALL cars.
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