- Garfield: Well, I might as well see how the ole diet's going.
- [steps on his scale]
- RX2: Hello, I'm RX2, your talking scale. I can tell you your weight, your fortune, or just about anything else you would like to know.
- Garfield: Okay, smarty pants, what's my name?
- RX2: Judging by your weight, you are Orson Welles.
- Garfield: Great, her voice chip with a cruel streak.
- RX2: May I have your autograph, please?
- Garfield: Oh, shut up. Why is everybody picking on me, and what's wrong with being large-boned, anyway?
- RX2: I've seen all your movies.
- Garfield: Hey, how would you like to have your battery removed?
- RX2: I wouldn't like that, Mr. Welles.
- Garfield: It's not like I'm all that overweight; I can still see my feet.
- RX2: I've seen "Citizen Kane" eight times.
- Garfield: All right, that's it, you're history!
- [stamps the scale repeatedly till it breaks, then dashes away as his scale beeps]
- RX2: [drones] Rosebuuuuuuud...
- Garfield: Hello, what's this?
- [reads calendar page]
- Garfield: Take Garfield to vet's today. Oh no! Not - THE VET! Jon *can't* take me to the vet; that's inhumane! The vet thinks she knows what's good for me, good for *her*; but that's bad for me, because what's bad is good for me, but if I go to the vet, and that's bad, she'll prescribe what's good for me and, that's not good! But maybe... if today disappeared, Jon'll forget about his little note.
- [detaches the calendar page]
- Garfield: Here, Odie! Wednesdays are good and good for ya!
- [shoves the page in Odie's mouth]
- Dr. Liz Wilson: The good news is your cat is as healthy as a horse.
- Garfield: Hear that, Jon? The woman is a great physician, a specialist!
- Dr. Liz Wilson: The bad news is he's also big as a horse. He'll have to go on a diet.
- Garfield: Quack, she's a quack! Get me outta here!
- Garfield: Pancakes, pancakes the size of Australia, and coffee, yes, Jon, coffee. We wouldn't be the great nation we are without coffee. So do your patriotic duty, Jon Arbuckle, and fix - me - breakfast!
- [drum beats, then Odie crashes cymbals]
- Jon Arbuckle: [slightly dazed] I wonder if people with goldfish have this problem.
- Garfield: Gee, I've been on this diet only ten minutes and I can tell I've already lost something... my sense of humor.
- Grandma: [as she finishes sawing the turkey Jon failed to cook earlier] Ever had Grandma's famous turkey croquettes, Garfield? *Nothin'* finer.
- Garfield: Go, Grandma, go!
- Grandma: [as she rapidly makes the turkey croquettes before Garfield] There now, we'll just put together a little white sauce. A bit o'parsley, drops o'lemon juice, and grated onion. Now add all turkey to white sauce, make some breadin', roll our mixture in the breadin', and deep fat fry!
- Grandma: [chanting] Deep fat fry, deep fat fry, music to my ears!
- Garfield: Now *this* is what Thanksgiving is all about.
- [shoving the groceries in Jon's face while he's driving]
- Garfield: Thanksgiving is *cookies*! Thanksgiving is pie filling! Thanksgiving is *cole slaw*! Drive carefully, Jon; don't wanna bruise my kumquats. Now wait a minute, wh-where're we goin', Jon? Th-This isn't the way home.
- Jon Arbuckle: We're going to the vet, Garfield.
- [Garfield screams in agony, causing Jon to zig-zag recklessly and hit the curb twice in the next shot]
- Jon Arbuckle: [as Garfield chatters over his upcoming vet visit] Now just relax.
- Garfield: Want me to relax, take me to Hawaii.
- Jon Arbuckle: I'm only bringing you to the vet for a checkup.
- Garfield: Check OUT, Jon. You're only bringing me here to check out the vet. Why don't you marry her, then she could make house calls?
- Garfield: [seeing Thanksgiving on the calendar page, then describing Thanksgiving to Odie] Hello, what's this? Tomorrow's Thanksgiving! You see that, Odie? Tomorrow's Thanksgiving. That's the day people celebrate having food by eating as much of it as possible.
- [Odie grunts in question]
- Garfield: Yes! That's the day when people try to eat every turkey, pumpkin, and cranberry on the face of the earth.
- [Odie spits out the calendar page that Garfield stuffed in his mouth earlier]
- Garfield: It's a tradition. And you know how I LOOOVE tradition!
- Grandma: Have you ever seen my split-second cranberry sauce?
- [she covers Garfield's eyes as she dumps a whole can of cranberry sauce into a bowl, then uncovers Garfield's eyes]
- Grandma: Too late, ya blinked, Garfield.
- [laughs]
- Grandma: And now, for the piece de resistance - pumpkin pie!
- Garfield: Skip the piece o'resistance, just gimmie a piece o'pie!
- Garfield: [plodding into the house after his vet appointment] Oh, woe is me. I've been put on a diet, and I'm gonna die.
- Dr. Liz Wilson: So Garfield, how's the diet? I see you're still the size of an aircraft carrier.
- [laughs briefly]
- Dr. Liz Wilson: Well, as long as I'm here I may as well check you for vitamin deficiencies; I don't want you to become anemic.
- Garfield: Don't forget beri-beri, rickets, and scurvy, too, Doc.
- Jon Arbuckle: [putting on pants in his closet after Liz notices he's not wearing them] Thanks for telling me I wasn't wearing any pants, Garfield.
- Garfield: Oh sure, blame it on the pet.
- Jon Arbuckle: [as he hurriedly staggers back to the door, trying to get a pant leg on] Come on, I want you to be nice to my dinner guest.
- Garfield: First I have to be a fashion consultant, now I have to be an actor.
- Grandma: [after arriving to cook Thanksgiving dinner after Jon's failed attempts] Have cooking utensils, will travel.
- [laughs, then heads to the kitchen to shoo Jon away so she can cook Thanksgiving dinner herself]
- Grandma: Well, what're you standin' there for, boy? Get in there and spark your young lady friend, and *leave* the kitchen to Grandma. Shoo, *shoo*!
- [returns to the kitchen]
- Grandma: Now, where's the patient?
- Garfield's Singing Voice: [singing; sung during the opening and closing credits] Do the mashed potato, do the candied yam, do the funky turkey 'cause it's time to jam. If you don't wanna dance, baby, that's all right, do some non-stop shopping, to work up an appetite. Make your Thanksgiving one whole meal, 'cause the more you eat, the more grateful you are gonna fee-eeeeeeeeeeeeel.
- Garfield: [after Liz permits him to skip his diet and start him on mild exercise] I'm free, I'm free, I can eat! Oh, joy; oh, rapture; oh, no!
- Jon Arbuckle: [it's Thanksgiving morning and the second day of Garfield's diet; cheerfully] Good morning, Garfield! Sleep well?
- [Garfield hisses and draws his claws as if to scratch Jon, but he lowers arm leniently]
- Jon Arbuckle: Well, aren't we nasty today? Save your energy, Garfield. Nothing you do can spoil my good mood! It's Thanksgiving, and I have a dinner date with a *dream boat*! Oh, and which reminds me, she'll be here in about three hours, so I'd better get the ole turkey outta the freezer!
- Garfield: [seeing Jon thump a second frozen turkey on the counter] Hey Jon, another frozen dinner.
- Jon Arbuckle: Everything's ruined, Garfield. What can I do? I'm doomed. Liz will never speak to me again.
- Jon Arbuckle: [Garfield drags out a phone] Very funny, Garfield; I can't feed Liz this.
- Garfield: Jon, you nitwit!
- [drags out record album]
- Jon Arbuckle: This is Grandma's favorite record, should I play it for Liz?
- [Garfield drags out heart shaped pillow]
- Jon Arbuckle: This pillow Grandma crocheted is very comforting, Garfield, but it still doesn't solve the problem with dinner.
- [Garfield drags out a purple sweater]
- Jon Arbuckle: I'm not cold, Garfield; why did you drag out the sweater Grandma made for me last Christmas?
- Garfield: Last chance!
- [takes out framed photo of Grandma]
- Jon Arbuckle: I know, I'll call Grandma! She'll know what to do! Oh-ho, Jon, you're a genius!
- Garfield: If he had a brain he'd be dangerous.
- Jon Arbuckle: Interestingly enough, it was Abraham Lincoln who officially proclaimed the last Thursday of November as Thanksgiving in 1863, you see. Now get this: in Canada, they celebrate Thanksgiving, *too*, but it's *not* on the fourth Thursday of November. They celebrate it on the second Monday of October. Isn't that wild?
- Dr. Liz Wilson: [yawning] I have no idea.
- Dr. Liz Wilson: That was a *wonderful* meal. Thanks for inviting me, Jon.
- Jon Arbuckle: Same time next year?
- Dr. Liz Wilson: Mm-hmm, that'd be nice. I'll be here before the meal, but after the history lesson.
- Jon Arbuckle: [seeing Garfield and Odie sitting on the couch lazily] Well, it was a great day! And judging by the looks of you two and your bellies, I'd say you had a great day, too. I know one thing I'm thankful for today!
- Jon Arbuckle, Garfield: Grandma!
- [Odie barks]
- Jon Arbuckle: Well, let's take a little walk and try to work off some of this food, boys.
- [Garfield groans and manages to scoot himself off the couch, but Odie can't get off because he ate too much Thanksgiving dinner]
- [last lines]
- Jon Arbuckle: Come on, Odie, come on boy.
- [whistles, then realizes Odie's eaten too much]
- Jon Arbuckle: Oh no, not you too. I suppose we'll have to put you on a diet as of right now.
- Garfield: [blows whistle, reenters wearing a camouflage cap] All right, Odie, gimmie ten!
- [Odie barks and stands at attention, but smiles]
- Garfield: And wipe that stupid smile off your face!
- [Odie snarls]
- Garfield: Come on, soldier, I said down and ten!
- [Odie gets down and does push-ups]
- Garfield: And one-and-two, and one-and-two! Are we having fun yet? One-and-two, and one-and-two!
- Grandma: Now, I'll just slip quietly out the door, Garfield. You tell that young lady of his that she couldn't find a better man than Jon, and she'd better not blow it, or she'll have to answer to me. Oh, and Garfield - eat a piece of pie for me.
- [leaves]
- Garfield: [sighs as Grandma starts up her motorcycle and drives away] They just don't make 'em like that anymore.
- Garfield: [as Liz runs down a list of diet foods, and mentions fiber as Jon tries to hold his breath to implore Liz to date him] Fiber's for sweaters!
- Jon Arbuckle: Here, Garfield, have some food.
- [as he lowers Garfield's bowl containing a lettuce leaf]
- Jon Arbuckle: According to your diet, you get this.
- Garfield: That's it? That's all, just one scraggly piece of lettuce?
- Jon Arbuckle: Oh, I'm sorry, Garfield. That's not what you get.
- Garfield: Well, I should hope not.
- Jon Arbuckle: [tears the lettuce in half] You get HALF a leaf of lettuce.
- Garfield: [clearly dissatisfied] That's better.
- Dr. Liz Wilson: [sniffs] Mmm, something smells.
- Jon Arbuckle: Oh, that's just a little Thanksgiving dinner I whipped up.
- Dr. Liz Wilson: I was afraid of that.
- Jon Arbuckle: Make yourself comfortable, Liz. I need to slip into the kitchen and take care of a few last-minute details.
- Garfield: Yeah, like finding something to eat.
- Dr. Liz Wilson: O-kay. I'll go out with you.
- Jon Arbuckle: Really?
- Dr. Liz Wilson: I can't stand to see a dumb animal suffer.
- Jon Arbuckle: Great! Uh, oh, uh, uh, uh, how about tomorrow, at my place? I'll fix a big Thanksgiving dinner; you're gonna love it!
- Dr. Liz Wilson: Well, at least we won't be seen in public together.
- Jon Arbuckle: And then this weekend, we'll...
- Dr. Liz Wilson: [glares] Don't push it, buster!
- Jon Arbuckle: [sheepishly] Okay.
- [leaves the room]
- Dr. Liz Wilson: Mr. Arbuckle!
- Jon Arbuckle: [reappearing] Yes?
- Dr. Liz Wilson: [pointing to Garfield] You forgot your cat.
- Jon Arbuckle: My cat? Oh, my cat!
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By what name was Garfield's Thanksgiving (1989) officially released in Canada in English?
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