- Rock Mullaney: A Frenchman, a German, and an Irishman go into a saloon and order whiskeys. The drinks arrive and there's a fly in each one.
- Rock Mullaney: The Frenchman says, "Mon dieu! I can't drink this."
- Rock Mullaney: The German flicks the fly out of the whiskey and drinks it down.
- Rock Mullaney: The Irishman grabs the fly. He turns it upside down and he says, "Spit it out! Spit it out!"
- Rock Mullaney: May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the warm sun shine on your face. May the soft rain fall on your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hands.
- Joe Gill: And may you be three days in heaven before the Devil knows you're dead.
- J.T. Langston: [after Rafe kills a buffalo] We need a little target practice here.
- Rafe Covington: You shoot 'em with that thing, you're just gonna make 'em angry. One's all we need.
- J.T. Langston: They're just buffalo.
- Rafe Covington: Well, they'll be gone soon enough.
- J.T. Langston: Gone? They're thick as flies on a bull's ass.
- Rafe Covington: Ten years from now, they'll be nothing but a memory.
- Rock Mullaney: [sees the captain passed out] Ah. That'll do it. Mutiny.
- J.T. Langston: Mutiny. What's the tariff on that?
- Rafe Covington: Hanging.
- J.T. Langston: I reckon we better not get caught.
- Joe Gill: [talking about meat] Look here. This kid's killed this critter twice.
- J.T. Langston: You want it rare, there's a bunch of them running around outside. Why don't you go take a bite of one?
- Joe Gill: Mind your elders, boy. Mind your elders.
- Joe Gill: You know, I've been around this place a long time. I was here till Barkow moved Mrs. Rodney to town... and then he run me off.
- J.T. Langston: Why does she listen to him?
- Rafe Covington: She's alone, she's scared. He's got manners and smells nice.
- Joe Gill: Besides that, he wants this ranch and he wants it something fierce.
- J.T. Langston: Why does he want this place?
- Joe Gill: I don't know.
- Rafe Covington: Maybe he wants Mrs. Rodney fierce.
- Joe Gill: Maybe.
- Rafe Covington: Maybe both.
- Rock Mullaney: [door opens, Rock enters with guns pointed at him] Is it Christmas yet?
- Rafe Covington: You don't look rich.
- Rock Mullaney: Maybe rich stopped mattering. Maybe Charlie mattered more. Maybe this gourmet cooking appealed to me.
- Rock Mullaney: [to Joe] Brendan Mulaney.
- Joe Gill: Joe Gill.
- Rock Mullaney: Pleased to meet you, Joe.
- Joe Gill: Welcome here to Crazy Woman Ranch.
- Anne Rodney: [seeing a pool of oil] Is this what Bruce is after?
- Rafe Covington: It's one of the things.
- Anne Rodney: [to Rafe] What are you after?
- Rafe Covington: One of the things.
- Anne Rodney: Tell me, how does a man go from the Jesuits to...
- Rafe Covington: Couldn't get the knack of turning the other cheek.
- Joe Gill: [all four are cleaning their guns] Well, one time he killed three fellas, cut their heads off. Hung them above the pawnshop, right by a sign that said: "Money to loan".
- Joe Gill: Then he's having supper with a guy one time... chased him down the end of main street... killed him, skinned him, nailed his hide to the barn door.
- Joe Gill: He's tougher than the back wall of a shooting gallery. And that, boys... is Bo Dorn.
- J.T. Langston: Sounds like one scary fella.
- Rafe Covington: Does, doesn't he?
- J.T. Langston: Maybe he's just passing through.
- Joe Gill: [next scene] Nope. He doesn't leave Kansas unless he's on his way to kill somebody.
- Rock Mullaney: I'm betting that somebody is you, boss.
- Rafe Covington: No bet.
- Joe Gill: So you're gonna go to town and face this Bo Dorn fella... just to keep a promise to Charlie.
- Rock Mullaney: Come on now, Joe. There's more to this than real estate.
- Rafe Covington: [J.T. starts laughing] What are you laughing at?
- J.T. Langston: Oh, I'm just reading the signs, Rafe. And the tracks is fresh.
- Rock Mullaney: About 115 pounds. Answers to the name of "Ann".
- Rafe Covington: [smiling] She plays a nice piano.
- Rock Mullaney: This waiting is affecting my strategy.
- Joe Gill: Well, I do hope that stragety don't include plans for that queen because she's gone.
- Joe Gill: [to Rock] No more Irish jokes.
- J.T. Langston: No, I like 'em.
- Rock Mullaney: There are two bulls at the top of a hill... in Cornamona. The young bull say to the old bull-...
- Joe Gill: Would it help if I gave you back your queen?
- Rafe Covington: [to the sheriff, who's sitting in rocking chair] Sheriff, you're sittin' in my rocking chair.
- Sheriff Walter Moncrief: I thought that's what it was for.
- Rafe Covington: It's for people I invite to sit in it.
- Joe Gill: Walter, you ain't invited.
- J.T. Langston: [Joe misses several cans with his rifle] Why do you shot that old Evans, Joe?
- Joe Gill: Well, it has twenty-eight rounds, and I ain't a very good shot.
- [pauses]
- Joe Gill: I'm going to town.
- [first lines]
- Charles Rodney: [laying in bunk] Rafe. Rafe. You'll do it Rafe? You gave me your word.
- Rafe Covington: I'll do it.
- Charles Rodney: I ain't afraid of dying. What's that you told me?
- Rafe Covington: 'Tis a poor thing to fear the inevitable.
- Charles Rodney: Ah, right. Who said it?
- Rafe Covington: Someone who wasn't dying.
- Charles Rodney: That's good advice, but hard to follow.
- [expires]
- J.T. Langston: [offers hand] Howdy, ma'am. John Thomas Langston.
- Anne Rodney: Mr. Langston
- J.T. Langston: [with a big smile] Nice to see ya.
- Rock Mullaney: Rock Mullaney. Pleased to meet you, ma'am.
- Rafe Covington: I'm gonna pick up those supplies.
- J.T. Langston: I should do that, Rafe.
- Rafe Covington: No. I'll go.
- [rides away]
- Joe Gill: [to J.T] He'll go
- Rock Mullaney: [during a gun battle] It's a first for me, Joe.
- Joe Gill: What's that?
- Rock Mullaney: I've never had to fight my way *into* a saloon before.
- [Anne playing piano]
- Rafe Covington: "Moonlight Sonata"
- Anne Rodney: You don't look like a man who knows Beethoven.
- Rafe Covington: I don't. My mother used to play that.
- Anne Rodney: Really?
- Rafe Covington: Don't I look like a man who had a mother?
- Anne Rodney: I guess I was condescending.
- Rafe Covington: You were. I read somewhere Beethoven used to wear his clothes 'til they came apart and fell off his body.
- Anne Rodney: You can read. Another surprise.
- Rafe Covington: Even write a word or two. Short ones.
- Anne Rodney: A wit. It's rare in these parts.
- Rafe Covington: Rare as sassy women I expect.
- Anne Rodney: And I suppose you prefer your women ignorant and docile.
- Rafe Covington: [in a friendly manner] Yes, ma'am.
- Anne Rodney: [smiling in return] Well, you're amusing enough, Mister...
- Rafe Covington: Rafe Covington. ma'am.
- Anne Rodney: Anne Rodney.
- [Rafe pauses]
- Anne Rodney: Mr. Covington?
- Rafe Covington: Mrs. Rodney, your husband sent me here.
- Anne Rodney: My husband has been dead for more than a year. You must be mistaken.
- Rafe Covington: I must be.
- Joe Gill: [sees J.T. working on a horse's hoof] Better slow down there, young fella.
- J.T. Langston: What difference does it make?
- Joe Gill: Well, see, if you take your time... you get a more harmonious outcome.
- Rafe Covington: [to the captain] I'm gonna beat you within an inch of your life for what you did to Charles Rodney.
- Joe Gill: Now how in the hell did you know he was gonna do just that?
- Rafe Covington: [both simultaneously] It's a gift.
- [both laugh]
- Rafe Covington: Yep, today wasn't my day to die.
- Joe Gill: Hell, the day ain't over yet.
- Gene Thompson: [amidst gunfire] Barkow forced Anne to marry him.
- Rafe Covington: What?
- Gene Thompson: They got married.
- Rafe Covington: I heard ya.
- [to Barkow]
- Rafe Covington: Barkow, you still hiding behind that woman?
- Bruce Barkow: That's my wife you're talking about.
- Rafe Covington: [pause] Send her out.
- Bruce Barkow: You come and get her.
- [proceeds to fire]
- [last lines]
- Gene Thompson: We did something, Melissa.
- Melissa Thompson: [tending to his leg wound] Yes, Gene, we did.
- Beau Dorn: [to Barkow] It ain't all that bad. I could just kill you and keep the bitch and her patch of dirt all for myself.
- Joe Gill: [in native tongue] Your daughter broke her egg.
- Chief Red Cloud: [native tongue] Egg? What egg?
- Joe Gill: What the hell is the word for 'leg'?
- [native tongue]
- Joe Gill: Her leg!
- Rock Mullaney: Old Hennesey's dying of the tuberculosis... so his missis sends for the priest to give him the last rites.
- Rock Mullaney: So the priest arrives at the death bed and says: "Hennesey, do you renounce Satan?"
- Rock Mullaney: "No," says Hennessey. "I do not." "You do not?" says the priest.
- Rock Mullaney: "No," says Hennessey. "A man in my condition can't afford to make any enemies."