- Amanda: Why don't you have a badge?
- Jim Winston/FBI Agent Bob Smoot: Because I'm undercover!
- Amanda: Well Hey! You know what? I'm undercover too! Did you want to see my badge? Oopsie! I don't have one!
- Jade: [leaning out the bathroom window, gasping for air] Let me just say, if he hadn't wash his hands this investigation would be over... Right here!
- Amanda: [spying on Jim's apartment, seeing the girl scouts] Those little whores are good. They even bring the props.
- Jim Winston/FBI Agent Bob Smoot: [about the dog] I guess Hamlet likes you.
- Amanda: You mean he doesn't tackle just anyone?
- Jim Winston/FBI Agent Bob Smoot: [smiling] No he tackles everyone. But he only drools on his favorites.
- Amanda: Well I'm flattered.
- [Candi, Holly, Roxana and jade are hiding in the Men's Room while two janitors come in]
- Plumber: Yeah, whip that big boy out.
- [a roto-rooter]
- Restaurant Guy: Oh, yeah.
- Plumber: I'm gonna put it in now.
- [the toilet]
- Plumber: [Restaurant Guy grunts]
- Plumber: Don't worry, I've put this baby into tighter holes than this.
- Jim Winston/FBI Agent Bob Smoot: [Referring to Amanda's weak-kneed collapse after seeing him] Maybe you should have those checked.
- Amanda: I know what you're thinking, you may think you have the worst taste in men, but you don't... I do. My grade school boyfriend left me for someone with boobs, my high school boyfriend Charlie left me for well, someone with out any boobs.
- Amanda: New York City. Home to 8 million people. Roughly half of whom are men. Which means half of the city is genetically predisposed to lie to the other half.
- Amanda: Now I know what your flaw is.
- Jim Winston/FBI Agent Bob Smoot: What?
- Amanda: [she grabs his wrist] You throw like a girl.
- [She pulls Jim over and laughs]
- Amanda: Not my dog that what they say to avoid a lawsuit
- [Hamlet Nudges Amanda from behind making Amanda fall into Jim's arms]
- Jim Winston/FBI Agent Bob Smoot: Come on Hamlet
- [!]
- Jim Winston/FBI Agent Bob Smoot: No means no, dude.