Das Geheimnis der Ninja

You immediately know that you're in for a fun ride here when, in the very first minute or so of the films running time, an impromptu fight breaks out between our hero, played by the always superb Alexander Lou, and a somewhat gaunt looking chap who appears to be wielding what at first sight looks like a piece of guttering!

As it turns out the attacker is also ostensibly rather thick as, after being given a quick pasting, he reveals that the reason for his decidedly anti-sociable behaviour was that he had in fact resorted to a spot of DIY justice in response to the rape of a number of women down the alley in question. Obviously, seeing our hero walk down the same alley he put two and two together and made about fifty, automatically assuming that he must therefore logically be the culprit of the said crimes!

Still apparently anyone can make such a simple, honest mistake and in no time at all, the two protagonists are the best of buddies! Okaaay….

Anyway, to cut a long story short, our hero and his new found pal next wind up working together at a sewage works, during which time they manage to save the life of a local mafia boss (a strangely benevolent chap at that) when he is attacked by his own cronies who are attempting to overthrow him.

Several savage beatings later at the hands of our hero, the bruised miscreants run off to lick their wounds and resolve to team up with a Japanese crime organisation which is headed by a rather rotund looking fellow who has a disturbing propensity for beating up his own sister! As it turns out, this organisation is rather more malevolent than the one the traitorous crooks formerly belonged to and even comprises a small army of ninja! In addition, just for good measure the organisation also enlist the aid of four experts in various martial arts fields; a master swordsman who bears an uncanny likeness to the late, great Oliver Hardy (!), an Italian knife throwing expert (and gambling addict to boot), a stereotypical, jive talking, 1970's styled Afro-Caribbean kickboxer (played by Alexander Lou's regular co star Eugene Thomas and finally a young ninja master.

Inevitably, this motley bunch manage to kill the strangely affable old Chinese mob boss which prompts our hero's to swear an oath of revenge.

From here on, the rest of the movie has our good guys challenging and defeating each of the assassins in turn before working their way up to the big boss himself.

Just to confuse matters somewhat, there is a sub plot involving Lou's character having a love affair with the evil Japanese boss's sister who also happens to be a ninja…..hmmmm what a tangled web eh?

Also of note are a number of scenes that don't exactly go to further the plot (nor make much sense for that matter) but are included presumably to beef out the movies running time…. One such particularly humorous and frankly baffling scene has our heroes marching into an elite social club whose members appear to be made up solely of bigoted (and disturbingly unattractive!) Europeans. Needless to say a fight inevitably breaks out during which our heroes give the clubs patrons a jolly good beat down before leaving calmly.

As is often the case with this type of movie, and especially the ninja genre in particular, much of the enjoyment to be derived from them is from the unintentional laughs to be gleaned from the on screen antics. The irony is that the actors seem to be approaching the material with deadly straight faced seriousness which only serves to heighten the hilarity considering the sheer stupidity of the proceedings.

Probably the funniest factor in this is the actual ninja antics especially as demonstrated in the final, climatic battle.

During this duel, our hero finds himself besieged by a group of speeding grass clump ninja! Yes, you read that correctly….you really have not lived until you have witnessed the astonishing sight of a large clump of grass whizzing across a neatly kept lawn at high speed! And how does our man combat such a terrifying menace you might ask? Well the only way possible against this deadly art - he uproots a sapling and proceeds to beat the ninja senseless with it!

It has to be said that the fight choreography throughout is for the most part superb (if sadly sped up in parts) and certainly adds immensely to the films entertainment value.

In fact, as it happens the fight scenes themselves seem to make up the bulk of the films running time with barely a minute seeming to go by without a fight breaking out for seemingly any given reason whatsoever!

Added to this we have some real gems of god awful dialogue which certainly had me laughing out loud throughout.

What can I say? – This film is a true classic of its genre and a must see for fans of B-Movies in general! Now if you'll excuse me, I have a rather pesky ninja infestation in my lawn to take care of…..

I don't understand all the bad reviews for mafia vs. ninja. I mean, sure the dubbing, action, acting and plot are amateurish, but this is a kung fu movie, which means a new set of criteria needs to be used from which to judge it. A lot of IMDb users make this crucial mistake, and go looking for Shakespeare in everything they watch. Something like Mafia Vs Ninja needs to be reviewed with these potential qualities in mind: humor (intentional or otherwise), creative fighting styles/ gimmicks, quirkiness, and overall effect. I'd say it fares well in these respects. The film had me laughing throughout, like when the two main characters (who dress like oi punks, which added to my enjoyment) trash an establishment owned by a white bigot in the middle of the film for no reason (the scene seemed to be randomly thrown in), the ninjas at the end who turn into clumps of grass and either teleport or travel underground and then take their normal ninja shape again, the special team called in by the ninjas to fight the mafia (who are the protagonists) which includes an italian (i think?) knife thrower with a huge ridiculous scar on his face (who is an expert at throwing knives into apples suspended by wires in mid air), a Chinese swordsman, a Japanese ninja, and an African American fellow from detroit who as far as i could tell didn't know any actual kung fu, so just rolled around a lot and sort of threw people. and who can forget the sex scene which contains no nudity, but then is immediately followed by a still shot on what appears to be a painting of our hero's girlfriend in the nude. and even though none of the fighting in this film is too well done, the setups are creative, and the grittyness of them helps make them entertaining. overall a decent flick, and one kung fu fans should dig, especially if you liked fantasy mission force or any other of jackie chan's more bizarre films (half a loaf, the original drunken master, etc)

Usually there are those who enjoy bad horror movies and those that enjoy bad kung-fu movies and few movies can be enjoyed by both, but Mafia vs. Ninja is immensely watchable (and laughable) even if you are amongst those that believe America has enough trash without foolish video distributors importing more. The movie is so great because it takes the usual elements of the chop-suey genre and and makes them worse. For instance, the almost required anti-Japanese racism is present (the Chinese mafia are the good guys you see, sure they extort and allow gambling and prostitution, but they draw the line at opium unlike those godless Japanese mafia guys). But not only do we get the anti-Japanese racism, we are treated to special bonus stereo-types in the form of a special all bad guy assassination team , including a black man (guess what kind of hair he has) and an Italian (guess where he has a scar?). The movie's verve extends to the action where the normally unbelievable fight scenes are made even more so via film-reversals, insane editing, and (I kid you not) wires on jumping fighters and thrown knives. Then there are the contrived plot devices, I must admit my favorite part of the movie. Sure, other chop-suey movies might give you exploding fruit baskets (this one does), but can they claim to feature a hero who beats someone with a tree? Lots of flicks feature invisible ninjas... but what about ninjas that literally turn into bushes? I thought not. Mafia vs. Ninja could never be mistaken for a good movie, but it is a kind of bad that doesn't take someone versed in ninja films to laugh at or enjoy. And for God's sake people the American video release features a man with the name of Poon Hung prominently in the credits. I personally can't think of a better reason to see a film. (-3 stars out of - 5).

This is a stunning film in every aspect. A skilled fighter comes to China in order to find a paying job, and is befriended by a coward of a fighter. He and his coward friend somehow help save a Chinese ruler from assassination. They are rewarded jobs in his kingdom and help slay off several archrival Japanese fighters. The Japanese warlord hires four interesting fighters- A master with the knives, a fat Jap with a sword, a black kickboxer, and an acrobatic fighter. The Chinese must take on these fighters and many other Japanese. This film is funny, entertaining, and quite possibly the greatest unknown Martial Arts film ever.

I am a huge fan of anime and manga, and my second fav genre is Chinese martial arts films. Over the years, I have watched hundreds of Chinese martial arts movies, and I've seen many good ones, but Mafia vs Ninja comes out on top.

One of the things you gotta love in Chinese martial arts movies is their low budget, since it is the reason behind funny special effects. This is one of the funniest movies I have seen, I really enjoy it every time I see it.

The movie is about the lives of Jack Doe and Charlie Wu, two sewage workers who want a better future, and luck is on their side. They later become bodyguards to William Chung, the wise and fatherly leader of the "good" mafia of Shanghai, by a mere stroke of luck, as I said. This "good" mafia protects the people of Shanghai and does nothing wrong, and they're the only thing that stops the Japanese from taking over the city.

As always in Chinese film, the Japanese are the bad guys, and in this movie, they are a clan of drug-dealing Shinobi who also run whorehouses and gambling centers. Their goal is to kill Mr. Chung to be able to seize the city. They manage to kill him by hiring 4 deadly hit men, and Jack and Charlie vow to get their revenge.

Then the movie shows how Jack and Charlie kill the hit men one by one, to avenge their fallen master. There are so many fun scenes in this movie, the action and laughing is non-stop. The special effects are typical for a Kung-Fu movie, you can see lots of editing cuts, the strings that hold the actors, dummies getting punched, funny fake blood and bruises, and the punch and kick sound fx we all love.

The fights choreography is excellent and the action scenes are very good. The music is good and fits the scenes' mood accordingly. The characters are enjoyable, specially when you see their powers or their KungFu. KungFu is the center of the movie, and the Japanese have even their special version, the Ninja KungFu! The movie is dubbed in English, but it's Chinese voice actors speaking English! This results in an incredibly hilarious voice acting! You will never find better quotes or voices in another KungFu movie! "I'm gonna kill ya, bastard!!"

Nothing in this movie is wasted, and though it is low-budget, it is an awesome film, every Chinese film fan I know love it, and I am no exception. It's my fav KungFu movie, I first saw it back in 1993 and taped it when I got the chance...but I lost it. It is so good, that I spent years searching it on the web and I finally found the home video on Ebay and bought it!

There is so much fun in this movie, lots of great action scenes, great characters, incredibly funny voice acting, and a great storyline...Obviously, this is not Citizen Kane, but it is the best KungFu movie ever, and I really doubt there will ever be a better martial arts movie than Mafia vs Ninja. Fantastic and endlessly enjoyable.

The best of the genre, unsurpassably good, 1000 out of 1000!