- John Prudhomme: Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get away with murder? There are fifty ways to fuck up a crime and if you can think of twenty of them, you're a genius. So far, this guy is batting a thousand.
- [last lines]
- Det. Andrew Hollinsworth: Listen, seriously... If this is gonna work for real, you gotta gimme a chance, alright? You gotta gimme a chance to come back. I'll be good as new. But you gotta gimme a chance. You may have to pickup a fair share at the legwork. But I will be back.
- John Prudhomme: Whatever you say, partner.
- Captain Whippley: I want you on him the minute he walks out the door. If he takes a shit, I wanna know how many times he wipe his ass.
- Det. Andrew Hollinsworth: Hey, how does a blonde turn on the lights after sex? She opens the car door.
- [John ignores him]
- Det. Andrew Hollinsworth: I don't know why I'm wasting my good jokes on you.
- John Prudhomme: I don't know either.
- John Prudhomme: Why don't take the whole body?
- Det. Andrew Hollinsworth: Maybe he only wanted a snack.
- John Prudhomme: [about a flower] Where can I find it around here?
- Botanist: You can't... is indigenous to Australia.
- Det. Andrew Hollinsworth: We're not in Australia.
- Botanist: I can see why the made you detective.