Seamless: Kidz Rule

This movie was so badly over-acted by virtually all of the actors that it was a challenge just to sit and watch this whole hour and forty minutes of crap, just to see if anything was going to happen. And it certainly was shamefully promoted with enticements of seeing Shannon Elizabeth as you saw her in American Pie. Even the cover of the DVD box had her name in large letters standing out on the top of the box, with the name of the movie almost hidden in the background. Were the producers also ashamed of this waste of time and money ?? If you see this video on sale for 99 cents, buy a coffee instead, even if you don't drink coffee. This was garbage pure and simple. 1 out of 10 stars, simply for the closing music over the credits.

There was absolutely no freakin plot to this movie! It kinda had to do with some chalkey who was a DJ at a rave I think... Any way, this movie sucks. I rented it from the video store because shannon elizabeth got naked in American Pie and Dish Dogs... so I assumed she would be getting naked in this. AND SHE DOESNT!!!!! For god sake, i had to watch half this crap on fast forward. And the people have the nerve to use Shannon Elizabeth lookin fine on the cover of the box to sell this crap, and she isnt even in it much! DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE, IT IS CRAP. 1/10 only gets the one because shannon elizabeth is in it.

I usually like films that are a bit wild and "different." For example, I LOVE most indie films that I see. I am all for the off-beat and quirky. I saw this movie on the shelves at my local video store and jumped at the chance to go back to my old school days of "ravin' it up." UGH...this movie was so far off point, it was not even remotely funny. The acting was atrocious and the all the clubbers looked like the too-colorful looking characters from a bad Dr. Seuss book. Like I said before, I try and keep an open mind about all movies. But this is one movie that I regret ever getting. I was almost tempted to go back to the video store and demand a refund. Please, if anyone out there is even thinking about renting or watching this, DO NOT...your time and money are WAY too valuable!!!!!

I would like to consider myself a connoisseur of bad movies. I have witnessed some of the most unbearable atrocities ever put to film. Plan 9 From Outer-space. Red Zone Cuba. Batman and Robin. Surf Nazis Must Die. Sizzle Beach. These movies strike fear into the hearts of men, and cause small children to weep. Seamless is of this caliber. It's truly wonderful in its awful-ness. The acting of the `star' of the film Kentaro Seagal, is on par with Tor Johnson's stirring performance from Plan 9. The soundtrack is as miss-matched as Queen's epic opus from Flash Gordon. The dialog was as easy to follow as a David Lynch movie. There was no flow to the movie with scenes seemingly taken from random movies and placed into an order that made vague sense, with the transition from one to another being as easy to watch as extended footage of the psycho kid from down the street torturing small animals. I find it ironic that this movies is called Seamless. Seamless would indicate flow and continuity. Considering you are made painfully aware each time the camera shifts from one character to the next (or one location to the next) I would hardly call this travesty Seamless. Only two types of people will enjoy this film: those who've eaten lead paint chips as children and those who can appreciate an awful movie for its complete lack of quality. View at your own risk.

Sometimes, my brother and I get into little arguments. When he recommended a restaurant I thought sounded unappealing, I asked, "Why should we trust your judgment?" He countered by asking me for a specific instance in which his judgment was wholly at fault. I told him, "You rented the movie Seamless." Folks, this movie wins every time when the "What's the absolute worst movie you've seen?" question gets asked. My brother picked it because Shannon Elizabeth (who I don't even find very attractive) is centered on the cover. The fact is, Shannon Elizabeth can't act. A "good" Shannon Elizabeth role constitutes her getting naked. She doesn't even fulfill that requirement in Seamless.

What's the point? I win, brother.