B. Monkey

Alan Furnace is a school teacher who's only joy in life is his late-night slot on hospital radio where he can play the light jazz he loves so much. Seeking more excitement in his life, he takes an interest in a collection of people in a local pub who the barman describes as "criminals". Despite this Alan approaches the woman of the group – the sexy and charming Beatrice, but is surprised when she responds to his advances. As he gets to know her, he uncovers a damaged soul with a murky past and dark present that perhaps he would be keep out of; however, as much as he is put off he is drawn in and soon finds himself involved deeper than he had ever planned.

I'll be honest and say that I was only drawn to this film by the strange title; other than that I had no idea what it was about but decided to give it a stab anyway. However the film seems to be aiming for a mood rather than a narrative and, as a result, this film is more about the tone and feel and thus it fails to really engage because the story isn't there. Well, there is a story but it comes second to the mood and it isn't well developed, is full of illogical holes that just don't convince and feels like a mishmash of other films' ideas. It is interesting at points but ultimately it doesn't work. The film tries to be seedy and introspective, using smoky rooms, jazz and crime as motivators and the "normal guy" as our way in, but even this doesn't totally work and elements of it failing make it feel like it has all been forced from the start – certainly the choice of the jazz music is way off.

However, as the title suggests, the film is more about Beatrice than the other characters and, as such, it is interesting enough even if she isn't as well developed a character as a "character driven film" would usually require. The performance from Argento is good and she has a real sexy presence that is more than just her taking her clothes off for the cameras – it is an aspect of her character that the film uses well. Harris is every bit as bland as the music he plays and he is the reason why I never bought the main relationship once – OK, she's after a "nice guy" but would she go for someone so very bland? The rest of the cast are colourful enough and do OK work with very basic material; Rhys-Meyers is good, Everett does his usual lazy, bi-sexual performance, Hart has a small role and the rest are just basic "East End thug" sorts.

Overall this is a film to watch for the sexy, dark presence of Argento and that alone. Outside of her, the narrative is pretty weak and never really convinced me or involved me; the dramatic fireworks come and go without really doing much and by the end I was pretty bored by the whole affair. Argento and some of the support cast make it worth a go but, like Harris and his type of jazz music, this film is consistently bland and uninteresting.

I love this movie like it's a woman. The reviewers have once again missed the ferry -- what we have here, folks, is an honest to God(ard) B-movie tone poem, an exercise in sensual, physical, SURFACE beauty that will send any self-respecting Keatsian aesthete straight to Hyperion ( the palace of visionaries, not the Miramax book division. ) Thanks to director Michael Radford -- who I wrongly assumed to be eighty or ninety years of age on the basis of his last movie, Il Postino -- B. Monkey is as seductive as the single bar of red neon that illuminates the opening shot. The movie will surely gain minor but devoted cult status in the years to come, while its lead actress, Asia Argento, will probably have to buy a house with very tall gates. ( Because I'm quite tall myself, and a good climber. )

How to describe B. Monkey without resorting to banal adjectives like you'd find on cartons of Haagen-Daz, "luscious" and "velvety"? Well, I see it as sort of a disreputable cousin to Bertolucci's ravishing Besieged; other people, no doubt less pretentious, will compare it to the kind of movie Steven Soderbergh has been making lately -- a cool, jazz-inflected, proudly inconsequential genre flick. But Radford has his own style -- impossibly trendy -- and he's a genius at evoking the loneliness and beauty of big cities everywhere.

This is a director's movie, to be sure, but make no mistake: Asia Argento is no slouch when it comes to decorating the frame. She's compact, tough, and fierce-eyed, her unconventional beauty only enhanced by a strong nose that would look terrific underneath a centurion's helmet. Like Louise Brooks or Anna Karina, she's a vamp for the ages, mesmerizing for no good reason ( much like the movie itself. ) It doesn't hurt that she's matched with the brilliant Jared Harris, whose interior performance perfectly complements her exterior one, or that the atavistically lordly Rupert Everett is on hand to do his Wilde thing. Even pretty boy Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is a bit more animated than usual; he throws open car doors briskly and with conviction.

Yes, the plot is inane. No, it doesn't really matter. B. Monkey, in the end, amounts to no more nor less than the sum of its impressionistic moments. The world is a glittering tomb where we all languish in oh-so-gorgeous isolation, or something. As Jared Harris says early in the movie, deejaying at a local hospital: "This next one is for all you romantics out there. Get well soon."

This movie is basically carried by the two leads (particularly Asia Argent, daughter of Dario Argento) and by Rupert Everett in a supporting role. The script is average and the plot a tad too obvious at times, but Argento catches fire on camera and does a very good job. If you like action-thrillers, by all means watch thi one. Recommended.

This film has all of the touches of an early Truffaut and some Fritz Lang in the use of wonderful characters,especially Argento, who I notice has not stopped working in big productions but who is quite young with a distinctive screen presence. If she were a blond, even Hitchcock would have used her. She is strong,fierce,bold,kind,unafraid to expose her nice body for passionate sexual interludes.She falls for a "nerdish" British third grade teacher,Jared Harris, son of late Richard, and is a truly marvelous actor who falls IMMEDIATELY for moll Asia Argento. It has handsome photography in London,Yorkshire,Paris, and in spite of Argento's strong presence,there are some good bits by Rupert Everett who adds class even in this sleazy role.An the young actor/hood is excellent as the rejected lover turned gangster.There is almost too much going on, making the ending a little too "pat" but it is one of the few crime love stories I have seen with such an engaging actress as Argento.She photographs beautifully and her transitions are so good, one is reminded of the great screen dames like Gloria Grahame, Jeanne Moreau and Tuesday Weld in PRETTY POISON.

"B.Monkey" is the perfect example of a romantic thriller!Asia Argento plays Beatrice/B.Monkey-the thief who wants to quit with her profession.She loves Alan(Jared Harris),a teacher of small children.The film is really enjoyable and very well-acted-Asia Argento,a daughter of famous Italian horror maestro Dario Argento is really talented!She provides also some great nude scenes!The violence is kept to minimum,but there's a lot of cursing!8 out of 10-worth checking out,especially if you're a fan of Asia Argento!