- Will Carlson: Shine bumbers if you want. I'm sure you'll make a killing. But that's how it all starts - crappy job here, crappy job there. Next thing you know, you're living on the dole, wondering where your life went. Your problem - zero patience.
- Syd Gilbert: You're right. I should make MY living dancing around like a mongoloid on a bad acid-trip for a bunch of spoiled little dickheads.
- Syd Gilbert: I'm gonna be flyin' solo soon. I got a job.
- Will Carlson: Where?
- Syd Gilbert: Tuott the Basehead hooked me up at "Suds 'N' Stuff" over the weekend.
- Will Carlson: Watch yourself on that corporate ladder...
- Syd Gilbert: Listen to this bull. Is that YOUR limo I saw parked outside? Driving around in that little shitbox...
- Will Carlson: Hey! That shitbox totes YOUR ass to-and-fro.
- Ed Fanelli: Oh, that's it. I'm out of here. I'm gonna go see my boys. We're going bowling tonight. League Champs, I might ad.
- Jenny: Oh, I could care. You know, do they even HAVE social lives? I have never seen two grown men so obsessed with hanging out with their father, instead to trying to get dates or attempting to meet women.
- Ed Fanelli: Well, maybe that's what we're doing when we go out, ever think of that?
- Jenny: Please. Who would possibly be interested in YOU? I can't believe I was for that one fleeting moment.
- Ed Fanelli: Oh, yeah? You know, that front door hasn't moved.
- Ed Fanelli: All right, ass on the bed now.
- [in William's face]
- Ed Fanelli: If I gotta tell you again, the wind is gonna be whistlin' Dixie through a hole in your face, you fuck. Me and you are goin' to bed together, that's a fact. I'm gonna make hate to you.
- Martan Ingram: First of all, it's not a "what", it's a WHO. And HE is making a big splash, orca-style.
- Will Carlson: Oh, I'm sorry. I must have the wrong place.
- Ed Fanelli: Not if you're ready to get down.
- [Will is knocked to the floor]
- Ed Fanelli: Looks like you are.
- Martan Ingram: How'd you like to be a part of one of the biggest milestones in children's television?
- Gillian: Well, frankly, Marty, I'd love it. Kinda missed my window, wouldn't you say? I mean, "Sesame Street" has been on the air for some time.
- Martan Ingram: I'm talking about a NOW show. I'm talking about Flappy.
- Gillian: OK, first of all, what's a "Flappy?"
- Martan Ingram: First of all, it's not a "what", it's a WHO. And HE is making a big splash, orca-style.