Mind Breakers

I gave this a 2 instead of a 1 only because I got to see a lot of Adam Baldwin, and I do mean, a LOT. One has to wonder how on earth (no pun intended) they got ahold of him for this 'film', as well as Robert Englund.

It was quite awhile before I realized the same actor who played Major Mitchell in 'ID4' is the same actor who played Jayne in 'Serenity'. I was so intrigued by my inability to see that they were the same actor (I'm usually very good at recognizing people), that I figured this Adam Baldwin must be one fine actor. When I saw he was also in this even-bad-for-a-Roger-Corman flick , I just had to watch, no matter how bad it was. And, it was. Bad, really bad.

But, I endured, being the 'Firefly'/'Serenity' fan that I am. If I ever get to meet Adam Baldwin in-person, I will just have to ask him, "WHY?"

My wife says at least once a week that I picked the worst possible film for us to watch. In this case I almost agree! This is one of the worst conceived and bad acted science fiction movie, and one asks itself who gave the credit to the director to do this movie, and then who let it be released. Avoid this complete waste of time.

Wow, this movie was bad. Now the acting was decent enough, but its clear the actors had little to work with, they tried to save this stink-bomb but there really was no hope. The story was flimsier than rice paper and the special effects shots were mostly stolen, many from BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS. The ship was apparently made of card board and the technology was primitive enough that humans who had never seen the systems could take control and hack the computer. Pathetic. I've seen fan-made films that were far superior in writing and effects. The only reason I gave this move a 3 is that it makes a good MST3K flick, get some friends, get some booze and enjoy heckling it between the few T&A scenes.

After Nasa stock footage, recycled Roger Corman space FX (BATTLE BENEATH THE STARS...again!) and an incomprehensible collage from various Corman productions, then the "story" begins. Eight people who awaken aboard a spaceship are being used in "procreation" experiments to eventually host an alien species. People start to die and no one knows what the hell is going on (or how they got there) but still make time to have sex while secret video cameras tape them. A blue energy beam zaps people, an "android" in the wall squishes a guy's head until blood pours out of his ears and an alien finger is thrust into his eyeball in close-up.

The new gore FX are pretty good and the cast looks good, too, in the sex scenes (which seem to have been trimmed from the cable version, called GALACTIC ODYSSEY), but this is still a cheap, pointless waste of time carelessly slapped together by the same guy who directed the equally terrible DEAD SPACE (1990). Maria Ford and Shauna O'Brien are seen in old footage from other movies thrown into the mix in the form of flashback. So is Trimble, in lengthy scenes from one of his old kickboxer movies. Corman was the executive producer and this was part on the ROGER CORMAN PRESENTS... Showtime series.

Score: 2 out of 10 (for the redeeming T&A only)

I saw "Starquest II" under the title "Galactic Odyssey." It stinks under any title. Having nothing to do with the original, this Roger Corman release is another in a long line of films that steals scenes from "Battle Beyond the Stars," some other movie I couldn't identify, and makes very little sense. Here's a rundown of what I understood:

Various individuals from Earth awake on a spaceship, having few memories of their lives. Wandering around the ship, they come across three people who claim to not know what is going on. In reality, these beings are aliens from a dying race. They have surgically implanted something into some of the humans. Their plan is for the humans to fornicate (yup, it must be a Roger Corman movie) so that their race will continue. But, as expected, there is a mutiny among the aliens, and people being to die off. Blah, blah, blah...

It is hard to figure out what in the world Robert Englund is doing in this movie. He can do so much better. There is nothing in this movie worthy of praise. Start your own "star quest" and look for a movie that actually shines just a little bit. Zanatos's score: 1 out of 10.