- Chet Bronski: Well, we're all part of the same tribe.
- Jack Sturgess: Right, the Minotauk.
- Chet Bronski: No, I'm referring to the emotionally-constipated American male over 40.
- Jack Sturgess: Ben, what are you doing here?
- Ben Archer: I came back here to help you. What do you think?
- Jack Sturgess: I don't need any help.
- Ben Archer: [observing the state Jack is in] Oh, really? Then what were you planning to do when those guys found you? Lie there and pretend to be a slug?
- Jack Sturgess: Exactly. Now get out of here. You're blowing my cover.
- Ben Archer: [struggling to get the tree trunk off Jack's leg] You can't tell me what to do. You're not my father.
- Jack Sturgess: [with a groan] I knew you were going to say that eventually.
- Chet Bronski: [singing] Heyhowaya, Ben! Heyhowaya, Jack!
- Jack Sturges: [singing] Fine-thanks-how-are-you?
- Chet Bronski: No no, Jack, "Heyhowaya" is the official greeting of the Minotauk.
- Ben Archer: [Ben has to choose an Indian name for Jack] How about... Squatting Dog?
- Jack Sturgess: [Jack gives him a surprised look] Squatting Dog? That's the best you could come up with?
- Ben Archer: I had a dog once who had a terrible case of the squirts. He was my best friend in the whole world.
- Jack Sturgess: Didn't you have any other pets?
- Ben Archer: I had a squirrel named Numb Nuts.
- Jack Sturgess: [sighs] I think I'll take... Squatting Dog.
- Ben Archer: [as the bad guys are trying to figure out the best way to kill Ben and Jack] If you were really clever, you'd wrap us in wet rawhide, and when it dried it would shrink and squeeze our organs out through our orifices like a tube of toothpaste.
- [Jack looks at him with disgust and confusion]
- Ben Archer: [innocently] I saw it on America's Most Wanted...
- Jack Sturgess: [after after sending the troops away so he can face his enemies] That means you too, Ben.
- Ben Archer: No way. I'm staying here with you.
- Jack Sturgess: You're not staying with me.
- Ben Archer: But I can help.
- Jack Sturgess: You can be more help by making sure the others get down okay. Now go on. Get out of here. I mean it.
- [Ben starts to follow the others]
- Jack Sturgess: Ben!
- [Ben turns around]
- Jack Sturgess: Thanks anyway. I appreciate it.
- [Ben nods and walks away]
- [the Man with Kite is flying his kite on the beach until he falls]
- Man with Kite: Ouch!
- [Sandy and Ben look at eachother and shake their heads]