Future War

My local Wal-Mart has $5 DVD bins. While I worked there, I used to buy some. Sometimes you can find classics, hard to find comedies, and a bunch of action films you've never heard of (but more recently you can get the whole Rambo trilogy). Well, I decided to take risks on buying some of the films. A lot of them weren't that bad, and definitely worth the $5. Then I found "Future War"...it had super cool looking cyborg graphics on the cover...so I bought it. I like schlock films, but this is even beyond schlock. I've seen better dinosuars in silent films, and for 1995, these dinos don't even hold up to them let alone "Jurassic Park" (of which they used raptors...very bad raptors in Future War). The cyborgs are push overs, and I can't even think of any worse looking cyborgs to compare them with! The story is also a bit funky. The woman who finds the escaped slave is an ex-gang member/drug person who's becoming a nun. Teamed up with her old friends and making an alliance between the local gangs (nuns and gang members and druglords don't mix-I'm sorry, I just can't see it) to fight the cyborgs and their raptors (the raptors disintegrate after they die). The cover art looks cooler than anything in the film. If this film was made during the 1960s-1990, the effects could almost be forgiven-but 1995!! This film is negative schlock, schlock wouldn't even touch this film. Troma wouldn't even touch this film! Yet I have a feeling, that if somebody wanted to-they could remake this and turn it into a modern hit. Sure, you'd have to improve nearly everything-but it can be salvaged. If you watch this, then watch T2. You'll laugh that such a film was made 3 years after T2-or fully appreciate T2.

Yep, this movie really sucked. In fact it sucked so bad! The acting was horrible, the plot sucked, and the dinosaurs are hand puppets (as some have said). And the Jean Claude Van-Damme wannabe is lame as hell. Of course, I could be wrong on the dinosaurs, but the rest is true oh yes the rest of what I said about this horrible movie is true to the last drop.

Stay away from this crap unless you see Mike Nelson, Tom Servo, and Crow T. Robot sitting in a theatre, and riffing it.

The thing about watching direct-to-video movies is, just when you think you've seen the worst, you see something even worse.

But it's going to be hard to top *Future War*.

It plays like someone had access to a couple of cyborg costumes, a couple of dinosaur hand puppets, and a guy who looked vaguely like Jean-Claude Van Damme, and decided to make a movie around them.

If he had only had decent actors, literate scriptwriters, and a competent director, he might have really had something.

It's a shame, too, that I couldn't like this movie at least a little; it attempts (though badly, of course) the sort of sympathetic portrayal of Christianity that I wish more *real* movies had.

A race of evil cyborgs kidnap humans from Earth's future to use as slaves, and take dinosaurs from the past to use as trackers. One of their slaves, the Runaway, escapes and makes his way to present-day Los Angeles. There he must fend off the cyborgs and their trackers, the police, and the government, befriended by a prostitute-turned-nun who runs a halfway house. Why would ANYONE in a modern time like 1997 make a stinker like THIS!?!?!?!?!? With actors that are as wooden as a cigar store indian, a script that was written by the director's 4-year-old son, a camera that was stolen from a burning pawn shop, poverty-row monster effects that were achieved by holding plush dino toys in front of the screen, and to top it off, a (once successful effects-man) director that thought making this crap would make them famous. ONLY watch the MST3K version!

This was made in 1995 and it looks more like 1965. Very low budget, boring plot, horrible acting, really bad special effects, etc...

I rarely ever see a Sci-Fi film i absolutely think is this bad. I mean this is pure garbage. It has nothing going for it either, as far as a "Cyber" movie this is the very bottom of the lot. There is nothing really futuristic in this, it's quite misleading. If you were expecting a low-budget "Terminator" think again.

Cyborgs and Dinosaurs? Well, the Cyborgs look more like they're wearing tin-foil suits painted black. The Dinosaurs are literally puppets, a blind person wouldn't even be fooled into suspending his disbelief that these are real Dinosaurs.

Does it have anything else going for it? I'm trying really hard to think of something...but there is nothing. No nudity, No gore, No comedy, no "War" (just a few meaningless fights).

I think i would be more entertained by staring at a blank piece of paper for 90 minutes. Junk like this gives good low-budget "B" movies a bad name. This makes Ed Wood movies look good.

Avoid this waste at all costs! Oh the humanity!