Caged Heat 3000

I have seen some really really really bad movies in my life, but this is hands down the worst yet. Not even the gargantuan number of exposed breasts could save that movie. In fact, its a testament to my heterosexuality that I was ever able to look at a woman after seeing that "film". I have seen better acting in low budget 70's porn. It was actually physically painful to watch.

What is worse, is that IMDb requires that I write a minimum of 10 lines about this frightful piece of human cultural excrement, but just thinking about this heaving bloat of evil stink is causing me to become ill. They could use this movie to torture confessions out of prisoners

This movie takes place in the future at a female penal colony with the arrival of a visiting dignitary who is humiliated due to a deadly altercation created by one of the prisoners named "Kira Murphy" (Lisa Boyle). As a result, she is subsequently tortured and sent to another section of the prison which is much more dangerous. That being the case, it isn't long before several of the inmates take an active interest in her--and they don't like the fact that she killed one of their friends. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that this was imaginative woman-in-prison film due to the science-fiction backdrop and had the added benefit of a beautiful actress like Lisa Boyle (aka Cassandra Leigh) in the lead role. Unfortunately, that's about all the film had going for it as the acting wasn't very good and the multiple fight scenes needed serious improvement as well. In short, I have to say that this wasn't a very good movie and because of that I have rated it accordingly. Below Average.

Although I haven't seen the prequels to Caged Heat 3000, I can guarantee that this film will arouse your artistic sensibility (among other things). The film opens with an artistic montage of tragic and violent images, and from there quickly spirals into a bombardment of silicon beauties. The fights were incredibly cheesy if you took the time to divert your attention from the ladies. There weren't any special effects worth mentioning, however the sets were well done considering the budget. Kudos to anyone who has the patience the count every single pair of breasts. Pausing and taking count will need to be done many times. My guess is that the 3000 was derived from the breast count. Bear in mind, that the film is not limited to just breasts... plenty of buttocks and female genitalia will fulfill a need in most people who are between girlfriends. I had just gone through a brutal divorce, and this movie had really hit the spot. For a $0.99 Albertson's Monday special, it beats a marriage counselor.

I have always wandered how could Ed Wood win some title like 'worst director ever". This s too ambitious. This movie makers can earn the title comfortably. Here you are in a sick world of nudity, rape, S&M and masturbation, and the problem is you don't care or give a damn. This flick has no intention but to show ample nudity, and to arouse sick thoughts in the minds of audience. Well.. It failed to do so !.. It's not funny.. It's not erotic.. It's not amusing... I have seen some porn flicks that deserve Academy awards when compared to this movie.

Woman prison flicks are out dated and should be stopped. They have only one theme, and we know all keys of the game... I recommend U save your hard earned money and time. Watching the news on CNN can be far amusing...

Good lord. This movie is an abysmal mess. Much like other movies of similar caliber (z-grade), I rented this in the hopes that it would be chock full of unintentional hilarity. No such hilarity exists within this film. In fact, it's hard to believe that a movie about a female prison of the future could be so dreadfully boring.

What's this movie about? Good question. I was asking myself the same thing throughout the entire viewing. Unfortunately, the plot has thus far eluded me. It's unnecessarily byzantine, and written by someone who'd be more at home with after school specials. But, as far as I can tell, the story is centered around Kira (Lisa Boyle). I'm not sure why Kira is at the prison, but, within minutes of her arrival she witnesses the rape of a fellow inmate. Kira, for reasons obscure to me, becomes so incensed that she exacts revenge on some gal who, as best I can tell, is somehow tangentially related to the rape and the rapists.

This revenge attack sets off a series of additional attacks: inmate(s) vs. inmate(s), inmate(s) vs. guard(s), inmate(s) vs. administrator(s), guard(s) vs. administrator(s), etc. Maybe I'm stupid, but I could never figure out why, specifically, all this fighting was taking place. More importantly, I could never figure out what this had to do with the plot -- but, as mentioned previously, I had no idea what the plot was to begin with.

Ultimately, this movie is nothing more than a hodgepodge of inane dialogue, fight scenes and nudity. There's also a disturbing amount of rape... or, at least, sexual abuse. This leaves the viewer with an unnecessarily bad taste.

Bad movie highlights? Well, we found it somewhat amusing that the prison inmates enjoy free reign of the compound. They're always walking around unattended, hanging out in large groups, performing menial tasks with equipment that could easily be employed as effective weapons (the "mining" sequences spring to mind). Other than that, it's just boring, boring, boring.

Good movie score: 2/10 Bad movie score: 2/10. In short: not worth watching by any stretch of the imagination.