- Asst. Principal Kowalski: [Ken's first day at school] Ah, you're the new kid, huh?
- Ken Marx: Uh, yeah.
- Asst. Principal Kowalski: You got a name?
- Ken Marx: Ken.
- Asst. Principal Kowalski: Ken what?
- Ken Marx: Marx.
- Asst. Principal Kowalski: Marx, I'm Mr. Kowalski, Vice Principal. You got a problem you come see me. You know how to read?
- Ken Marx: Uh, yes, sir.
- Asst. Principal Kowalski: Ah, that's refreshing. Listen, let me lay down a few campus rules for you. No smoking, no profanity, no graffiti. No fighting, no weapons, and no sex. You like sex? Ah, never mind. On campus keep it in your pants. Listen, you stick to these rules, I'll stay out of your face. You don't - I'll become your worst nightmare. You got it?
- Ken Marx: Yes, sir.
- Asst. Principal Kowalski: Good. Have nice day.
- [turns to other student]
- Asst. Principal Kowalski: You - you wanna look stupid? Lose the cigarette.
- [to next student]
- Asst. Principal Kowalski: Hey, meathead. Your parents have any kids that lived?
- [walks away]
- Asst. Principal Kowalski: Sheesh.
- Ken Marx: [cleaning the toilets as part of training] I get it! When this is all over, I'm going to learn some karate stuff, right? It's like, wax on, wax off. Paint the fence. Sand the floor.
- Billy Grant: [shakes his head] No. This is called toilet cleaning. Teaches humility. Then I want you to start on those urinals. Okay?