- Tommy: Everybody's fucked up, but nobody wants anybody else to think they are, but everybody knows they are anyway.
- Tommy: I know, but now I'm even worse. I don't know what I'm doing. I just, I, I just feel like... I don't know what I feel. I don't. I don't feel anything. Except lost.
- Tommy: He's a little old man. Can't you take some of the wrinkles out? You've given birth to Mr. Magoo.
- Harry: Can I help you?
- Tommy: Yeah, I was in here last week, I left my number. I was just wondering if you found a mechanic yet.
- Harry: No, not yet.
- Tommy: Because I'm available, I mean I know you're probably still looking at other possibilities but I can start anytime.
- Harry: I remember you. Where's your car?
- Tommy: My car?
- Harry: Yeah, when you drove away from here last week your car stalled out down the block, it took you 25 minutes to get it started.
- Tommy: I know, it's a piece of shit. But I've got it running pretty good now.
- Harry: So how come you're on foot?
- Tommy: Just felt like walking.
- Tommy: [to a little boy squirting him with a water gun while he's driving the ice cream truck] Hey, you fuck, get away from the truck!
- Tony Basilio: You know how many people tried to change your father Sandy? It couldn't be done. I couldn't change him. You couldn't change him. Your mother couldn't change him. My mother couldn't change him. Nobody could change him.
- Matthew: If my best friend stole my girlfriend and fucked her and knocked her up and fired me I don't know what I would do, man.