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Die Legende von Pinocchio

Professor: Would someone please like to tell us of a characteristic which separates humans from the rest of the animal kingdom?
Lampwick: [aside, to another student] Cages.

Pinocchio: [Pinocchio is in the forest] Smell that pine.
Pepe: You know, they ought to bottle that scent so you can spray it around your house.

Leona: [Gepetto is going out to sea to find Pinocchio] You're going to kill yourself for one of your puppets?
Geppetto: He's my son.

Lorenzini: Act like a jackass, if you have the nerve. Drink up the water, get what you deserve. Be wicked, be naughty, come drink from my fountain. Then I'll be rich, king of the mountain!

[last lines]
Pepe the Cricket: And there you have it. Geppetto and Leona lived happily ever after. Luigi ate a lot of socks, and all the donkeys turned back into boys. lt took some hard work. They had to do many good deeds to earn the privilege. As for me, l took a house on Lake Como, and played canasta with a couple of locusts. So, ciao, my little saplings. Arrivederci! And when you need me, give me a holler. We'll see if we can arrange something.

Pinocchio: [riding The Big One; thinking] A real boy. I'm a real boy. I'm a real boy!

[the ride on The Big One leads through a fountain of water, which the boys drink, including Pinocchio, but it leaks out of holes in his body]
Saleo: [to Pinocchio] Hey, Woody! You're leaking!
Lampwick: I guess some guys just can't hold their water.

[Pinocchio's nose is stretching really long because he is lying about punching Lampwick]
Professor: There are two kinds of lies: lies that have short legs and lies that have a long nose. And yours are clearly the kind that have the long nose.

Pepe: [to Pinocchio] Say, do you always squish someone before being formally introduced?
Pinocchio: Are... Are you a termite?
Pepe: Oh, puh-lease!
Pinocchio: So you're not gonna eat me?
Pepe: Thanks for the offer, but I'm on a low-wood diet. Let me introduce myself. The name is... Pugnacio Elecuzio P. Elegante. Gimme a "P", an "E", a "P", an "E", put 'em all together and call me... Pepe!
Pinocchio: Pepe?
Pepe: You don't like it?
Pinocchio: It's okay.
Pepe: I'm very sensitive, you know.
Pinocchio: No, it's... it's fine.
Pepe: We can't all be called Pinocchio.

Pepe: [fired through the air on a rocket] I can't go on a trip! I forgot to go to the bathroom!

[Pinocchio has tricked Volpe and Felinet into drinking the water that turns bad boys into donkeys]
Volpe: [turned into a fox] Don't you just hate that kid?
Felinet: [turned into a cat] Not as much as I hate you!

[first lines]
Pepe the Cricket: Long, long ago in a far away land. A young woodcarver took secretly to the forest. His name is Geppetto and he was shy and quiet. Oh, and very much in love.

[Pinocchio is caught by the baker in the pastry shop eating]
Pastry shop baker: Don't eat that!
[the baker's wife walks back from the kitchen carrying a platter]
Baker's wife: I'm not eating anything.
Pastry shop baker: Not you. Look!
[the baker's wife shrieks as she sees Pinocchio making a mess of the shop eating the food; she tosses the platter towards him]
Pinocchio: Mmm! More.
Baker's wife: I'll give you more!
[the baker's wife leaves]
Pastry shop baker: You're a bad boy, huh?
Pinocchio: Real bad boy.

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