- Ed Kelvin: [opening monologue] Beverly Hills, California. The perfect marriage of beauty and money... Especially money... There is ten billion dollars tucked away in the banks here. Not bad for a population of only thirty-three thousand people. This whole place reeks of luxury. It's all about living the good life. Twenty million dollars anywhere else can buy you a small country. Here you get a nice two bedroom... No yard. More, if you're prepared to pay for it. This place is an oasis in the middle of L.A. sprawl. And it has its own city council. It's own mayor! And fire department. And of course... Its very own police force. Beverly Hills has about a thousand lawyers and... about as many gardeners. It's home sweet home to movie stars and rock stars! Millionaires, billionaires, Arab oil magnates, Japanese tycoons and... A few crooks. Of course if you're a Beverly Hills cop like me you just can't afford to live here... makes you think doesn't it?
- Boomer Hayes: Good thing you're here, Bat. Been meaning to talk to you about my contract.
- Robert Masterson: It's been canceled.
- [Fires cross-bow]
- Robert Masterson: [singing a song from the 'Christmas Carol' musical] Thank you very much! Thank you very much! It's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me!
- Boomer Hayes: [Benitez has crashed his tank into a swimming pool] Touchdown, asshole!
- Benitez: It's only half-time, my friend. Half-time!
- Varney: [Dropping a bomb at Boomer's feet] Looks like you're going to live up to your name after all... Boomer.
- [laughs]
- Ed Kelvin: You're gonna love this, you know this car cost 155,000 bucks?
- Boomer Hayes: So what?
- Ed Kelvin: Well, my house didn't cost 155,000 bucks.
- Boomer Hayes: Well? Can't drive your house, can ya?
- Boomer Hayes: You married?
- Ed Kelvin: Nah. My wife left me... for a dentist. Probably better oral sex or something. You know, we're both selfish men, except I'm goin' to jail for it.
- Ed Kelvin: [Having just shot dead a fellow looter] There wasn't suppose to be any blood.
- Boomer Hayes: [In disbelief] All these guys with guns and no-one suppose to get hurt?
- Boomer Hayes: They're gonna need more then a battering-ram to get through this door.
- Ed Kelvin: Uhh, I gotta tell you something.
- Boomer Hayes: [Sees the SWAT tank heading straight for the door] OH, NO!
- Ed Kelvin: [Both start running] That's what I forgot to tell you!
- Boomer Hayes: Where did they get that from?
- Ed Kelvin: From the local SWAT armoury!
- Benitez: You lame son-of-a-BITCH! SAY SOMETHING!
- Boomer Hayes: Did you see that throw I made today?
- Benitez: I hate football!
- Boomer Hayes: [Throws a rock at Benitez's head, killing him] Well, I really... hate guys... who don't like football.
- Ed Kelvin: [Explaining what it's like being a cop in Beverly Hills] ... You start wondering... Hey what about me I put in the extra hours, I put my life on the line... what about having some the good stuff for me. And yet I keep being told that nowhere in the world cops are paid more than in Beverly Hills... well big fucking deal. This is nowhere else in the world, this is Beverly Hills... a depository for the world's greed.
- Boomer Hayes: These guys are cops?
- Ed Kelvin: Ex-cops... all ex-cops... this one was bumped off the force for corruption and the other one here I'm not sure