- Andy Simpson: [singing] Hey, there comes Johnny with his pecker in his hand, he's a one-balled man and he's off to the rodeo.
- [cuts to graveyard scene and then back to squad car]
- Andy Simpson: [singing] So allamande left and allamande right, come on you fuckin' turkey get your right foot right. Get off the stage you fucking jerk, you know you piss me off.
- Andy Simpson: Shit, Clovis.
- [hears Clovis meow at dim Charles Brady]
- Andy Simpson: I know just how you feel.
- Charles Brady: This doesn't have to hurt. Just think of yourself as lunch!
- [Tanya hits him in the head with her camera]
- Charles Brady: I lied! It does have to hurt!
- Policeman: [They get into a yard full of cats] There's a lot of cats.
- Policewoman: Well, I can see that, dickhead.
- [after ripping Mr. Fallows' hand off]
- Charles Brady: You're right, Mr. Fallows. People really should learn to keep their hands to themselves. Here's yours.
- Cemetery Caretaker: Look, I don't want to take the rap for this, I got enough going on. I just don't need this kind of action.
- Captain Soames: Look, you got one hysterical girl with a very vivid imagination and all that girl needs is a good smack on the butt and her mommy and daddy won't do it, I'll be happy to volunteer.
- Deputy Horace: [after hearing a door close] Maybe it was the wind?
- Officer Wilbur: It was not the fucking wind.
- Mary Brady: [after smashing their heads together] You're right. It was not the fucking wind.
- Cemetery Caretaker: I lock up this gate. It's not my fault if any pervert, weirdo or horny kid gets inside of here.
- Charles Brady: Look, if you're trying to blackmail me, you've got the wrong guy. This car is the only expensive thing I have, and I'm kinda sentimental about it. I don't think I could sell it.
- Andy Simpson: The thing is, Clovis was looking at him like he didn't like him. And the guy was looking at Clovis like he was afraid of him.
- Andy Simpson: Yes, I'm out here on Pound Road, still in pursuit. The bastard almost ran down a little girl! I think he tried to run her down. I think he's playing with me.
- Mr. Fallows: Your transfer cards are fakes. Clever, yes, but fakes. There's no Paradise Falls in Ohio. Anything to say? I don't now who you are, but I know you're not who you say you are.
- Deputy Horace: There's a lady here that says she's the Brady kid's mother. I think she killed Don Robertson. There's blood everywhere.
- Mr. Fallows: Your generation is greedy, Charles. Money this and money that. Well, money is not the only medium of exchange.
- Charles Brady: [in Homeland Cemetery] It's really beautiful here.
- [Tanya smiles, nods]
- Charles Brady: So are you, Tanya.
- Tanya Robertson: Thank you, Charles.
- Charles Brady: [re gravestone etching] I'd better get these out of the way right off. Your mother's gonna wanna know if some rubbing went on out here.
- Tanya Robertson: Me too, Charles.
- [naughty smile]
- Tanya Robertson: [in back of police car] Listen to me! I know I sound crazy! But you're not getting the point! Charles isn't human!