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Eine ganz normal verrückte Familie

Jon: This morning he named every member of his fighter squad like it was yesterday.
Mildred: 1943 he remembers like it was yesterday. It's yesterday he can't remember like it was yesterday.

Jon: I wanna tell you something, Pop, I missed you.
Harry: You know I have to tell you something too. I don't know who the hell you are.
Jon: Sure you do.
Harry: No, I don't.
Jon: Still a kidder, aren't you Dad? It's me, Jon!
Harry: Jon? Jon! My boy!

Harry: You sold the shoe store? You sold the shoe store?
Jon: I'm sorry, Pop, I just couldn't find the right way to tell you.
Harry: Tell me what?
Jon: That I sold the shoe store.
Harry: You sold the shoe store?
Jon: The neighborhood was changing and it wasn't worth anything!
Harry: [Showing him a deed] It's worth half a million dollars. See? McDonnell's!
Jon: [Thinking he said 'McDonalds'] You hungry again, Pop?
Harry: Yeah.

Taxi Driver: My parents stay here too. They ain't never gonna die. It's the air conditioning. It's like they're in cold storage.

Arlene: I'm 35 years old, Jon!
Jon: You're not 35 years old, I'm 40 and you're older than I am!
Arlene: I'm 35! I'm got two obnoxious teenage boys and no husband. I have to compete with firm young women and there's only so much plastic surgery can do for me.

Jon: I'm perfect if anybody wants a one-balled, deaf, blind, unemployed vagrant with a limp.

Harry: [about his Cadillac] This baby can go! I told your mother how much it cost and she shit a cat! If only she knew how much it really set me back.

Dr. Aviano: Lucky those cops saw you. There wasn't any time to waste, I felt we should operate.
Jon: Operate?
Dr. Aviano: Lot's of men only have one testicle.
Jon: Did you say I have only one testicle?
Dr. Aviano: That's right.
Jon: Nope, nope.
[Looks under sheet]
Jon: Oh no!
Dr. Aviano: Don't be upset, one is all you need. The other is just sort of a back up. It won't affect your sex life.

Jerry, Steve: Hi, Uncle Jon.
Arlene Setters: Jon! My dear little brother, we missed you. So I just thought me and the boys would come up and stay for a while with you and your lovely family.
Jerry: Let's cut the bullshit. We need a place to live, she ran out of alimony.
Steve: And the asshole with the boat ran out on her.

Retired Attorney: Do you mind? We're trying to finish the game while we're still alive.

Jon: [Is smashing a wire he was told to wear] This is special agent Jon Aldrich reporting.
[Smashes microphone]
Jon: This is Jon Aldrich to J. Edgar, come in, big guy.
[Smashes]
Jon: Hello, Ed, can you hear me?
[Smashes]

Harry: [as the manager is about to strike Jon, Harry hits him over the head with a shoe] I told you you're fired!

Jon: I remember this picture.
Harry: Oh yeah. Guy on the left had is Tom Hankerman, he flew 37 missions before going down over Okinawa.
Jon: Pop, you're putting your shorts on backwards.
Harry: Huh? Oh yeah. That guy there is Lenny Coleman. Lenny ran that little airfield I flew out of after the war.
Jon: Is that the place you took me to for my first ride?
Harry: Your mother too. And last ride for her!
Jon: Pop, you see much of Arlene?
Harry: Arlene?
Jon: Your loving daughter.
Harry: No.

[after being rescued by an accident in which Jon let his father drive the car]
Retired Doctor: How'd you say this happened?
Jon: My father accidentally put the car in the wrong gear and then he accidentally got his foot stuck on the accelerator.