Deadtime Stories - Die zunge des todes

I recently made it a point to try and see every horror anthology movie I know about. Having neared the end of my "mission", "Deadtime Stories" sticks out as being surprisingly good. Creative effects, clever stories, and just the right amount of dark humor make this one a great movie to watch.

To start with, the wraparound story, while being somewhat tried, is dramatically saved by the character of the sleazy uncle. All he's trying to do is get his nephew to fall asleep so he can watch the Miss Nude competition. His introduction to the Runninghood story is terrific. I must have missed getting to hear THOSE fairy tales when I was a child.

The first story is the darkest of the three, Peter and the Witches. Its highlights are a hot blonde with big breasts and a stomach-churning sequence of a fully-regenerating body. It has a chilling ending, with an intentionally-corny "alternate" ending told by the uncle to satisfy his bratty nephew.

The second story is a clever variation of Little Red Riding Hood. Here Red Riding Hood is dubbed "Runninghood", and is, as the uncle graphically describes, a high school senior with firm breasts. The wolf is a werewolf, who attacks the girl's grandmother while our title heroine goes and has sex with her boyfriend (the woodsman). Even more interesting is if you know that the original Riding Hood fairy tale is largely a metaphor for a young woman's first sexual experience.

The third story is the best, offering the perfect combination of horror and dark humor. In Goldi Lox and the Three Baers, "Papa" Baer and his mentally-retarded son "Baby" Baer escape from an asylum (whose name I won't give away, but it immediately tells you that the segment is going to be funny) with "Mama" Baer's help and find that the murderous Goldi Lox, who has Carrie-like telekinetic powers, is living in their old house. The feuding Captains Jack B. Nimble and Jack B. Quick of the police department successfully bungle their effort to capture the group, and the four go on their merry way at the end. Several parts are funny in this one, particularly when Goldi Lox and Baby Baer have "sex". Some of the humor is subtle, too. I almost didn't catch the "plainclothes vehicles" part.

I quite enjoyed this one. Just one problem, though. You don't find out who won the Miss Nude pageant! 8/10.

Seen much better Anthology horror films than this. Worth a watch but do not get your hopes up.

Bongzilla should make an appearance prior to watching.

Deadtime Stories (1986)

** (out of 4)

Brian is staying at his Uncle Mike's (Michael Mesmer) house and wants to hear some bedtime stories. Mike agrees to tell him some as long as he goes to sleep after. The first story has a couple witches using a boy to lure a woman into their home so that they can kill her in exchange for their long dead sister. The second story deals with a Little Red Riding Hood theme as Rachel (Nicole Picard) is taking grandma some medicine but she's sidetracked and soon a wolf show up. Finally, Goldi Lox (Cathryn de Prume) escapes from a mental hospital when she ends up at the Baer's home and they too have just recently escaped.

After the success of George A. Romero's CREEPSHOW several anthology films popped up with this one here being one of the weaker ones. It's really too bad that this film isn't better but there are all sorts of problems throughout the three movies. It should also be stated that it appears the MPAA got their hands on the picture because a lot of the death scenes have weird jumps, which is usually a clear sign that something had to be cut.

As far as the three stories go, each of them deal with a familiar subject but writer-director Jeffrey Delman was obviously wanting to do something different with them. As is the case with any anthology, the quality varies from story to story but I'd say the first two are the best but even they are flawed. Both the tale with the witch and the werewolf have great conclusions but sadly everything leading up to the endings are pretty bland and boring. It's really too bad because the first story has some terrific special effects and especially during the sequence where the dead sister is coming back to life.

The third story is a complete misfire as they're going for some camp and it just doesn't work. The idea for the spin on the story is a good one but the execution just isn't there, although you've got a young Melissa Leo playing Mama Baer. The performances throughout are above average and as I said there are some good special effects but it's too bad some of them were trimmed. Still, DEADTIME STORIES tried to do something different but the end result isn't as good as you would have hoped for.

To truly enjoy horror films I think you have to set other movie criteria aside. Let's face it horror wasn't created to win any Oscars, it is in a league of its own. Deadtime Stories is fun for what it is a b-horror movie with a cheesy, yet lovable twist. The whole idea of twisted fairy tales is intriguing and some of them are actually quite good re-telling in particular Little Red Riding Hood. Deadtime Stories is definitely not for the more serious movie watcher but if you enjoy gore with only the slightest bit of substance then buy it, you won't be sorry.

So, to tell the truth, the first reason I wanted to see this film was to see that actor from FAMILY TIES in a gross-out horror film. But, despite a few cheesy effects, this film is two-thirds a dud.

The first story, about witches, is a wash-out.

The second story, a parody on Little Red Riding Hood, was better paced, but still lacking in any real dramatic thrust(except for that of Red, when she meets up with her boyfriend). This is the one that Scott Valentine is in, and although an improvement on the first story, it still bit the big one.

The third story, however, works. Goldi Lox is a psycho, and the Bears are thieves. This makes for a perfect coupling, until sex comes into play. Then, things get nasty. This segment is the best of the three stories, and maybe if the other two stories had been as strong(and funny), the overall film would've been better.

As it stands, however, DEADTIME STORIES isn't exactly the best way to spend 90 minutes. It is slow in many sections, and the low budget is evident. But, if you don't mind fast-forwarding about an hour, the Goldi Lox story is a real hoot. Otherwise, THE OFFSPRING is a far more superior anthology film.