- Keith: You don't think you're gonna get away with this, do you?
- Vic: Of course! Do you know how many people disappear off the face of the earth every year? Not thousands, tens of thousands! You're a statistic, kid.
- Keith: Why us? Why'd you pick on us?
- Vic: It was a mistake, OK? There was a little error there, a little communication error... I'm sorry.
- Keith: We'll be missed, they're gonna come looking for us.
- Vic: Who will? Who'd you tell that you were coming here? Nobody tells anybody when they come to a joint like this! Quite a racket, huh? See, I run an essential service here... Waste disposal. Oh yeah! Look around, look who comes here. The sickies, the degenerates, the forlorn, the lowlifes, the fucking dregs of humanity wind up here and we take care of them. It costs you nothing.
- Keith: Yeah, just my best friend.
- Vic: Hey, nobody's perfect! I do the best I can with what I got.
- Keith: Testy! You wanna know why I'm testy? I'll tell you why I'm testy. Today I was nearly hung, I got into a fight with a psychotic albino, I met a human pin cushion in the bathroom, I ate a cockroach, my best friend disappears and then I'm nearly assassinated by a runaway elevator! I'VE HAD A BAD DAY!
- Duncan: You know, I mostly get your basic dorks around here. They seem to gravitate towards me... I don't know why!
- AJ: I love you, Keith. But all I can see right now is food... And I'm starving! You carry my next meal around with you in your veins!
- Vic: Don't forget our single man's special, all you can drink for a dollar. Come along, you drink yourselves into another world!