Elves

I recently watched Elves (1989) on YouTube. The storyline revolves around a young lady with a troubled home who discovers she's at the center of a Nazi master plan to create the master race, somehow involving killer elves. To thwart this diabolical plan, she teams up with an unexpected companion-an unemployed mall Santa.

Directed by Jeffrey Mandel (Turnaround), the film stars Dan Haggerty (Abducted), Deanna Lund (Land of the Giants), Julie Austin (Twisted Justice), Borah Silver (Escape from New York), and Ken Carpenter (Hellraiser III).

This movie proves to be an uneven addition to the horror Christmas genre. While the storyline has a good setup and effectively evokes sympathy for Santa, the claymation and portrayal of elves fall short, lacking believability and impact in the kill scenes. The Nazi angle adds a unique blend of humor and sinister undertones. Dan Haggerty shines as Santa Claus, providing a character that's easy to root for, and Deanna Lund's performance adds smoking allure, particularly in the standout bathtub scene.

In conclusion, Elves is a must-see for fans of Christmas horror, with notable characters and an intriguing, albeit uneven, storyline. I would give it a 4/10 and recommend watching it at least once.

Wow! I can't believe this movie exists. Just when I thought Chuck Norris was the worst actor ever, along comes Grizzly Adams. He is a department store Santa trying to stop a Nazi created elf from doing something. The elf is laughable. Characters come and go without explanation. The elf kills without explanation. Grizzly Adams acting defies explanation. The dialogue is priceless. This movie was delightfully bad. I highly recommend it. Rent it for a laugh.

This schlock-ridden beauty is a christmas horror gem of the it's-so-bad-it's good variety.

The plotline is gold.

Nazis have genetically engineered the master race gene into elves buried in an american forest. The man behind this plot impregnated his own daughter, as part of a scheme to create the perfect human- specifically designed to procreate with these elves. Hence, his granddaughter is the focus of an ancient prophecy come to fruition...as she is to breed with the elf at midnight on christmas morning, to bring forth the antichrist and master race- who will rule over the entire world.

But she has no idea about any of this...until, well, her friends start getting murdered by nazi occult priests and the elf itself.

Up to this point, she's just a rad 80's chick, upset with the outrageousness of this square world...shooting the shit with her girlfriends and getting up to no good. At least when she's not working.

One night, she and her girlfriends break into the department store where she works. They plan to party...but are are interrupted with this whole fiasco, before they get a chance to let loose.

Now, her, Santa, and her little brother must take on and destroy the elf, before she gets raped and knocked up with the antichrist by it.

This film is cheesy as hell, but the elf is kinda cool (though, also totally lame), and its full of awesomely quotable one liners. There's even some tension in there! Meaning, it's pretty much everything you want in a christmas horror this holiday season.

Recommended.

6 out of 10.

Let's face it, with a title like Elves I expected to see, well... elves. This movie should more accurately be called Elf. That's right, there is one, count him, ONE elf. I suppose Elves sounds a little more frightening than Elf, though not much. Picture a hoard of evil elves descending upon you - kind of scary as a large number of them may be able to overpower you or rip your limbs off. Now, picture what we get in the movie, one rubber elf mask permanently frozen with it's mouth open. As Count Floyd used to say, "oooooo, isn't that scary, boys and girls?..... well, isn't it?!"

When I mention the following things all in a movie, it appears that we should have a winner - Dan Haggerty, evil elves, nazi's, teenagers, and Santa. But Elves just doesn't really succeed in converting all that potential into something great or truly horrendous. Granted, there is high entertainment value in hearing Haggerty and the other characters say things like "I want to know the connection between the elves and the nazi's" or "Look man, I'm tellin' you what I saw, god damn it, I'm tellin' you I saw a two foot elf!"

There are really amusing things in the movie, often unintentional, but overall it's a disappointment.

From the wacky side of the 80's dtv realm, 'Elves' would have angered me had I seen it when I was younger & my tastes were much different. I'm not going to go as far as to say it's worth your time, but I enjoyed the fun insanity now. A borderline tasteless story, cuckoo with enough laughs and decently made. If you're in the right mood, you won't be bored.

Three young women do a seance in the woods using a stolen book and unwittingly unleash a demonic creature. Kirsten (Julie Austin) is still a virgin who lives with her little brother, twisted Mom (Deanna Lund) and creepy semi paralyzed "Grandpa" (Borah Silver) and key to a Nazi plot to create the super race. As ex-cop Mike (Dan Haggerty) working at the same dept store as her slowly finds out what the heck is going on.

A finale that stops just short of spelling out what's going on, but still gross. Gratuitous nudity from Austin and Lund. "Gramps" in a category all to himself that I won't spoil. Add in offscreen kills, poor "Elf" effects (though they try to keep it confined to the shadows) and info dump scenes. LOL trips to the library, a local know-it-all professor and even a doctor who spells it out while his young daughters listen in.

A parade of perverts, Nazis, cocaine, lust, incest & the bizarre. 'Elves' is a crazy time that you're not supposed to take at face value ... at least I hope so. The filmmakers treat the material seriously and even drop a sequel smelling ending (for which one never came? Shocker). Supposed to be horror with sci-fi tones, but so crude, unintentionally funny that it's more of a trainwreck than anything else. Bad movie fans might have a new Christmas classic.