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Arachnophobia

Delbert McClintock: [after stepping on a spider, a dog barks in the background] Yeah, that's right... I'm bad!

Delbert McClintock: Spiders would find your barn a tad breazy this time of year. In that respect, spiders are a bit like you and me. No, I frankly doubt there are any spiders in your barn.
Dr. Ross Jennings: Well, I frankly know there is Delbert. I saw a web! There is a web in my barn!
Delbert McClintock: ...A web would indicate an arachnoid presence.

Henry Beechwood: Bobby here, he's a, he's a Bronco star quarterback.
Bobby Beechwood: Hi.
Molly Jennings: Hi.
Henry Beechwood: I taught him to throw a football before he could walk. I coach the team.
Molly Jennings: Nepotism huh?
Edna Beechwood: Actually, we're Baptists.

Dr. Ross Jennings: Chris, I'm scared to death.
Collins: Yeah, we all are, but our brains secrete a neurotransmitter that enables us to deal with them.
Dr. Ross Jennings: I don't think I have that particular neurotransmitter.

Doctor James Atherton: In this first generation, the original male also produced a queen, and together they will construct a primary nest which the queen will guard. But eventually, she will create reproductive offspring of her own. And when that happens, this town is dead... and the next town... and the next town... and the next one, and so on.

Dr. Ross Jennings: In my opinion...
Margaret Hollins: In my opinion, Dr. Metcalf isn't aware of the difference between his ass and a hole in the ground

Dr. Ross Jennings: [Dr. Ross Jennings has just informed his wife that Dr. Sam Metcalf has postponed his retirement, and that he is seeing his only patient Tomorrow]
Dr. Ross Jennings: We're gonna be fine, we'll be alright, just like you said.
Molly Jennings: With ONE patient?
Dr. Ross Jennings: Well, I mean, you know? Maybe I'll get lucky and all of her systems will be ravaged by disease. Ya know, kinda like having seven patients in one.
[scene changes to Dr. Jennings surgery where he has just completed his examination of Margaret Hollins]
Dr. Ross Jennings: Fit as a fiddle, not a damn thing wrong with ya.
Margaret Hollins: Dr. Jennings, I'm sorry.
Dr. Ross Jennings: Oh, sorry? What do ya mean you're sorry?
Dr. Ross Jennings: [under his breath] You think I was hoping you were ravaged by disease?

Dr. Ross Jennings: The itsy-bitsy spider crawled up the water spout; down came the rain and washed the spider out.

Molly Jennings: I'm sure you knew exactly what you were doing when you took Margaret off those pills.
Dr. Ross Jennings: Like I knew what I was doing when I chose this town... with the country doctor from hell!

Dr. Ross Jennings: Come on, let's go find that spider. And let's find your mom to take care of that spider. Honey, we're in the living room. We need you to kill a spider.

Dr. Ross Jennings: Milt, why don't you cover the living room.
[sighs]
Dr. Ross Jennings: Chris, why don't you check out back. And uh Lloyd, take the kitchen. And I'll just uh, I'll oversee the uh, I'll just coordinate the uh, I'll just stay right here.

Doctor James Atherton: I think this is a new species of butterfly... we could call it Photus Manlii
[Atherton being goofy making in inside joke to Jerry Manley after all the bugs fall from the tree]

Dr. Ross Jennings: Easy, easy with that. Don't want to agitate the sediments. Chateau Margaux, 127 bucks a bottle.
Mover: Tasty, huh?
Dr. Ross Jennings: At that price, who can afford to drink it?

Dr. Ross Jennings: Respect is fine, but actually I've always wanted to be feared.

Sheriff Lloyd Parsons: [introducing Delbert to Doctor Atherton] Excuse me. Professor? This is our town exterminator.
Delbert McClintock: Delbert McClintock, infestation management. Always nice to meet a collegue.
Sheriff Lloyd Parsons: Now, he believes he came across one of the offending spiders a couple of hours ago.
Doctor James Atherton: Might you have brought it with you?
Delbert McClintock: Actually, he's probably still at the bottom of my shoe. You really can't tell what it is anymore.

Delbert McClintock: [Spraying drone spider with insectiside on wooden walkway, Then steps on it when it does not die]
Dog: [Barks]
Delbert McClintock: That's right. I'm bad.

Doctor James Atherton: [On seeing the general's web littered with dead animals] Incredible! You have been busy!

Doctor James Atherton: [Attempting to lure out the general spider, Atherton plucks one of the strands of its web] Suppers ready! Come and get it!
[the general spider screeches and leaps onto his neck sinking it's fangs into his throat]
Delbert McClintock: [Later, Delbert finds Atherton's body as it drops from the rafters, cocooned and covered in spiders] Oh My God... They got the professor!

Doctor James Atherton: [Talking about the General spider] In its original habitat it was confined by geography. That isn't true here.

Dr. Ross Jennings: [Whilst looking for a spider specimen, one jumps out from behind a painting on the wall] Is that one of them?
Collins: I'd say it's a damn fine suspect!

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