- Joseph: Well, like the song says 'Give my regards to Broadway'. You can still change your mind
- Tarzan: No. I must go, Joseph
- Joseph: OK. But remember: you're going to be up against something stronger than poison darts, more cunning than killer snakes, and fiercer than Simba the Lion.
- Tarzan: What is that?
- Joseph: New Yorkers!
- Tarzan: New Yorkers
- Joseph: This is as far as I can go. I didn't want to break this to you before but you can't take the knife
- Tarzan: Won't I need it against the New Yorkers, Joseph?
- Joseph: Yes. But they won't let you take it on the plane.
- Archimedes Porter: And that's all you know about this current weirdo?
- Jane Porter: He's not a current weirdo
- Archimedes Porter: Ah, I see. He's just ah, Tarzan of the Apes? Who escaped from a detention center and is looking for his lost chimp, Chiquita?
- Jane Porter: Cheetah
- Archimedes Porter: I see. Jane, look, I never interfere in your personal life, do I?
- Jane Porter: Since when?
- Archimedes Porter: Yeah but I'm telling you - this guy is a loser
- Archimedes Porter: Hey, come here for a minute. You got twenty four hours to get out of town. That's it
- Archimedes Porter: No Wait, no Dad you can't do that
- Archimedes Porter: Why can't I do that? I run a business, a security business. I could lose my license. This guy is a fugitive from justice. And also a nutcase.
- Archimedes Porter: I gotta go. It was great coffee. Pleasure meeting you. Get outta my daughter's life. And put on some clothes.