- Dave: Don't we get a last request?
- Eve: What would you like?
- Dave: Would you scratch my nose for me?
- [Eve scratches his nose with a coin and then kisses him]
- Dave: You're a very sick woman.
- Eve: Thank you. Mr Karew, what would you you like?
- Wally: I suppose a fuck is out of the question.
- Eve: I'm afraid so.
- Capt. Braddock: Okay, no more bullshit...
- Capt. Braddock: [to Dave, talking fast] Was there or wasn't there a woman?
- Dave: Are you serious?
- Capt. Braddock: Yes, I'm goddamn serious.
- Dave: Fuzzy Wuzzy was a woman?
- Capt. Braddock: What the hell is he taking about?
- Wally: He reads lips. You're talking too fast.
- Capt. Braddock: [to Dave, talking slowly] Was there... a wom-an... pres-ent?
- Dave: [to Capt. Braddock, talking slowly] Yes. There was... a wom-an... pres-ent.
- Capt. Braddock: Why is he talking like that?
- Wally: [to Capt. Braddock, talking slowly] Because he's deaf... not stu-pid.
- Wally: Where are we?
- Dave: Probably on our way to New Jersey by now.
- Wally: No kidding! I got family in there! Do you wanna come with me?
- Dave: Of course. You've earned my trust, Wally. You've been a very good friend to me these past couple days. You're always there for me. You never get me into trouble. Sometimes it seems a bit boring but that's a small price to pay for such a wonderful friendship.
- Wally: That's beautiful, Dave. Do you mean everything you just said?
- Dave: I'll tell you how I really feel in about a minute or two. Right now I'm a little overwhelmed by the STINK of the seven tons of garbage that you drove us into!
- Wally: Is THAT what it is? I thought you let one go! That's why I didn't say anything!
- Dave: That's very kind of you! Thank you!
- Capt. Braddock: 32 years on the force, a wife and three kids, and a blind guy and a deaf guy are making me look like a real asshole.
- Gatlin: You got that right.
- Capt. Braddock: What?
- Gatlin: [talking into radio] Charlie over.
- Medical Conference Attendee: [Addressing Wally, who is impersonating a Swedish gynecologist] Which exercise would you find most beneficial to geriatric sexuality?
- Wally: [faking a Swedish accent] Oh, boy. Well, some of my patients prefer walking, some prefer bicycling. But for best results, to guarantee satisfaction, most of them like fucking. You know, poonta-poonta-poonta. I like it myself, you know. One in the morning, and late at night.
- Dave: Who are you talking to?
- Wally: I'm talking to you, you prick.
- Dave: Why don't you look me in the eye and say that?
- Wally: I would if I could but I can't, I'm blind.
- Dave: You're blind?
- Wally: Yes I'm blind, what are you, fucking deaf?
- Dave: Yes, I'm fucking deaf!
- Wally: You're really deaf?
- Dave: I'm really deaf.
- Wally: Then how do you know what I'm saying?
- Dave: Because I'm reading your lips, now you want the job or not?
- Wally: So, you're the fat fuck that runs this show!
- Sutherland: Beautifully put, Mr. Karew. You're obviously a poet, a man after my own heart.
- Dave: [to Raoul] Stop right there or I'll throw this knife through your head! I mean it! I'll throw your brains out!
- Cop with Bullhorn: [to Raoul] Freeze!
- Dave: [to Raoul] That's more like it! Now put your hand up!
- Cop with Bullhorn: [to Raoul] Put your hands in the air!
- Dave: [to Raoul] Oh, so you do speak English!
- Capt. Braddock: I know the law! Now I get to shoot them!
- Gatlin: You can't.
- Capt. Braddock: What do you mean I can't?
- Gatlin: Captain, we got the real killer.
- Capt. Braddock: You're telling me I can't shoot them?
- Gatlin: No, sir. You can't.
- Capt. Braddock: We went to all this trouble to catch them and now I can't shoot them?
- Gatlin: It's time to go.
- Capt. Braddock: But I wanna shoot 'em! I wanna shoot em!